The Trouble with Tea Leaves
by gloryandfame
Summary: Severus thinks he knows how his whole life will play out, but at 11 what does one really know? This story starts off in 1971 and will go until the post-second Wizarding war. This story bends canon and may even ignore some parts of canon entirely. **warning** This fic could also be a trigger, please keep in mind what we know about Canon Snape's past.
1. Good-bye, Mum

*******I do not own any of this, nor do I make any money from this. I only write for fun, and to help stretch my brain muscles for my own original works. **

**This fic will be very long, taking Severus from age 11 clear up to at least 38. So, pull up a chair and make yourself at home, it's going to be a long trip. Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy the story! *******

"Hurry along, Tiddles, the Evans won't wait all day!" Severus looked up at his mother. She had tried to look her best before leaving the house. Her hair was pulled back into a fuzzy looking bun at the nape of her neck, and she was wearing her best clothes. He frowned. If his father saw her wearing those she would surely be in trouble.

"Mum, please don't call me Tiddles." Severus replied. He looked down at his feet as they walked. His pants were too short, his shoes too worn. The luggage his mother had given him looked older than his grandparents. The corners were smashed and frayed, the lock no longer worked and he had watched in despair as his mother had tied it closed with twine.

"You may be a big boy now, going off to Hogwarts and all, but you'll always be _my_ little boy." She ran her hand over her sons' downy hair affectionately. As soon as her hand dropped he reached up to smooth it back down. "Please, remember your manners when we get there. It was kind of the Evans to offer you a ride to the train."

"I will, Mum." Severus sighed rolling his eyes. He wouldn't have dared do that to his Father, but lucky for him he was still passed out from his nightly outing to the local pub. By the time he woke, Severus would be long gone. His heart jumped at the idea of being free, but his stomach sank knowing his mother would have to remain behind and deal with the aftermath of his going away.

"Here we are!" She cried, delighted they had made it in time. The Evans were just coming out of their front door when they made their way to their front gate. One cross looking girl stood by their car, her arms crossed and eyes narrowed as she saw them approaching. The small ginger girl came running at them as fast as her little legs would carry her.

"Severus! I'm so glad you came!" She smiled at him, he returned the smile, bashfully. "Pleased to meet you Mrs. Snape, I'm Lily." She held out her hand to shake the older woman's.

"Good morning, Lily. It's so very nice to meet Severus' friend." His mother shook the child's hand.

"Hello!" A woman called out, waving eagerly at them as she walked over. "I'm Rose, Lily's mother. You must be Severus!"

"Good morning." Severus nodded. He locked eyes with Lily, squirming uncomfortably.

"I'm Eileen, Severus' mother." Elaine held her hand out to Rose, who shook it with enthusiasm. "I cannot thank you enough for offering to take Severus along to meet the train."

"It's nothing really! I'm glad we have a spare seat. Lily's older sister, Petunia, well…she's decided she would rather not go so she will be staying with our neighbor until we return." Rose had turned to look over her shoulder just in time to see her daughter huff and stomp away. "Do you have any children at home?"

"No, Severus is an only child." Eileen replied. Severus looked up and spotted the sadness in her eyes.

"May I ask, are you…like Severus and Lily?" Rose blushed, her green eyes appearing brighter form the color in her cheeks.

"I am." Eileen nodded. "My husband is like you though, so that makes Severus here a half-blood."

"Half-blood?" Rose asked, her curiosity peaked.

"Yes. I am pure blood, which means that both of my parents were magical. Half-blood is when one parent is magical, and then there are children like Lily which are referred to as Muggle-borns." Eileen explained.

"That seems like a rather odd way to classify people who all have the same abilities." Rose wondered aloud.

"It's all nonsense." Severus mumbled causing Lily to cover her mouth as she giggled.

"That train will leaving whether or not two naughty little children are on it!" A deep bellowing voice called out causing Severus to jump. Lily's father was jogging towards them smiling. Severus wondered why Lily's parents smiled so much.

"Hello, I'm Harold, Lily's father." He extended his hand to Eileen.

"This is Eileen, she is Severus' mother." Rose introduced her.

"Pleased to meet you." Eileen shook his hand nervously as she dropped her head and looked to the ground.

"The pleasure it all mine. Severus is a fine young man. I couldn't begin to tell you how much he has eased our Lily's fear." Harold put his arm around his daughters shoulder.

"Severus is a good boy." Eileen nodded.

"I hate to rush you ladies, but we really must be leaving if we are to make it on time." He turned a concerned eye to his wife.

"Yes, dear," Rose was smiling again. "It was nice to meet you Eileen, I do hope to see you again soon." Rose gently pulled Lily away to give Eileen and Severus a moment alone. Eileen lifted the hem of her skirt above her knee and knelt down, looking her son in the eye.

"Severus, behave yourself at school. I know you're a good boy and you are very smart. Write to me when you can." Severus noticed she wasn't smiling.

"Mum, do I have to go? Can't you teach me how to use magic? I can go to a muggle school and learn from you at home, I promise I would help and I wouldn't get under your feet." Severus began to plead.

"No, Tiddles, you must go." Eileen brushed his long hair back from his face.

"I don't want to leave you alone with him, Mum." Severus whispered.

"You needn't worry about me. You go on, do your very best and make me proud. I love you, Severus." Grabbing either side of his face she leaned his forehead towards her and planted a soft kiss there. Quickly she stood up, smoothing her skirt, she grabbed his bag and handed it to him. "Go on, they're waiting for you."

Reluctantly he walked towards the Evans' car, sending a glance over his shoulder to his mother. She was watching him, her arms crossed about her chest, a hand pressed to her mouth. Harold was waiting by the boot to take his bag. Ashamed of it, he didn't want to hand it over. He held it low, hoping Lily's dad wouldn't see it.

"It's alright, Severus." Harold reached over and put his hand upon his shoulder causing him to flinch. "When something is worn like your bag there, it means it has character. Could you imagine the stories that bag could tell of all the adventures it has been on?"

"Yeah?" Severus looked down to his bag.

"Of course. Items like that give a man character, they make you interesting." Harold nodded as he tentatively reached out once more to take the bag from his hand. Severus inhaled deeply before handing it over.

"I don't believe you." Severus finally spoke as Harold shut the boot. "But thank you for trying to cheer me up, Mr. Evans. I know that the other kids will laugh at me, they always do."

"Go on and get in the car." Harold motioned to the car, watching the boy hang his head as he walked.

Severus slid in next to Lily who was giddy from excitement. Mrs. Evans was sitting patiently in the front seat waiting for her husband.

"Severus, did Mr. Evans say what he was doing?" Rose turned and looked at him.

"No, mum." He replied shaking his head. After several moments they heard the boot open and close quickly before Mr. Evans opened his door and got behind the wheel.

"Everything alright?" Rose asked.

"Fine, darling. Let's get these kids to the train station." He started the car and began to pull away. Severus looked out of his window, his eyes finding the form of his mother as she walked home without him.

The ride didn't take as long as Severus had expected. He had never been to the city and most certainly had never been to Kings Cross. His jaw was slack with amazement. When Mr. Evans parked the car he sat frozen, wide-eyed, taking in the scenery.

"Come on, Severus!" Lily poked him between the shoulder blades to grab his attention. Opening the door, he walked backwards to the boot so he wouldn't miss anything.

"I would like you to have this, Severus." Mr. Evans gave him a gentle pat on his shoulder. Severus turned around, confused, until he saw the man pointing to a very nice suitcase.

"I couldn't accept that, sir." Severus shook his head. He really did want the suitcase, but he couldn't be impolite, it would hurt his mother if she found out.

"Nonsense, it's a gift. Let's make sure you start out the same as all the other first years. Wouldn't you like that, Severus? A nice fair chance?" Mr. Evans asked. Lily and her mother were standing off away from them, pointing to things and talking. Severus looked back to Mr. Evans, and battled internally.

"Sir, is it impolite to accept a gift?" Severus finally asked. He didn't have much experience with gifts. The last gift he could remember getting were his school things, from his grandfather. He remembered back just a month before. His mother's father had shown up out of the blue, and took him to Diagon Ally. He had never been there either. His father was angry that his father-in-law purchased everything for him to go to school. In the end, after a night of raised voices and threats, his grandfather left having won out. He was off to Hogwarts. His grandfather had died just three days after their trip. Severus pushed the memory from his mind.

"It can be impolite." Mr. Evans patted the new suitcase.

"I don't want to be impolite. I'll accept the suitcase. Thank you, Mr. Evans." Severus reached down and began to untie the twine of his suitcase, unpacking his meager belongings and shoving them into the new suitcase.

"It's my pleasure, Severus. There, is that everything?" Mr. Evans asked.

"Yes, sir." Severus hoisted the suitcase from the boot before Mr. Evans closed it. "Oh, could you please not toss that in the rubbish bin? My mother wouldn't like that."

"Not a problem. I'll keep is safe for you until you return on holiday. Deal?" Mr. Evans chuckled.

"Deal." Severus felt like he could walk a bit taller now, now that he had a nice suitcase like everyone else. They joined Mrs. Evans and Lily, he could over hear Mrs. Evans questioning her husband about the suitcase. He whispered something to her before she looked down at him, with pity in her eyes.

"Oh, Severus, isn't this exciting?" Lily exclaimed as they walked into the station.

"Yeah." He replied, but excitement wasn't the emotion he was feeling.


	2. Hell and the Hogwarts Express

The compartment they found was near the middle of the train. He was grateful that no one else had been in there. Severus was aware he would be forced to interact at some point, but he didn't want to, not until he was left with no other choice. He watched as Lily looked out the window at the passing landscape, wistful expression playing on her features.

"What house do you hope you're sorted in?" Lily finally broke the silence. He recalled explaining the four houses to her after his mother explained them to him.

"I don't know, Ravenclaw I guess." Severus shrugged. "Not that it matters. Mum said the sorting hat will choose and we have to accept wherever it sticks us."

"Maybe we'll be sorted into the same house!" Lily bounced slightly in her seat.

"It's a possibility." Severus shrugged. He wanted nothing more than to be sorted into the same house as her, after all she was his best friend.

"I'm going to keep my fingers crossed for good luck." She held both of her hands in front of her, crossing her fingers so he could see.

"I can't imagine a reason why we wouldn't be in the same house, after all we're best friends." Severus had been assuring himself of the sorting since he met her.

"What subject are you looking forward to the most?" She returned her gaze to the window.

"I dunno. Mum said she thinks I would do well in Transfiguration. I sort of like the idea of Potions. What about you?" He looked out of the window to see what she was seeing.

"Hmmm…"Lily scrunched her face to one side as she considered his question. "I don't think I will do well in Divination, but I'm a bit excited about learning the History of Magic. Being a muggle-born I think that I should focus on that at first." Their door suddenly slid open causing both of them to jump. Standing in the doorway was a tiny girl with wildly frizzy blonde hair, and glasses that made her eyes look huge.

"Excuse me," Her voice was as small as her stature. Her shoulders were a bit hunched, one hand playing with one of the many necklaces that adorned her, the other was clutching her suitcase. "Could I sit in here with the two of you? They were being quite mean to me where I was."

"Sure," Lily stood up and invited the girl to sit beside her. "I'm Lily. This is my friend Severus." The girl stumbled forward before closing the door behind her. She dropped her suitcase onto the floor. Both hand were now clinging to her necklace.

"I'm Sybil. Thank you for letting me join you." The girl looked back to the door nervously before sitting down beside Lily.

"It's no problem, we have plenty of room." Lily turned to face the new girl. "So, what house are you hoping you're sorted into?"

"Oh, uhhh…I'll be sorted into Ravenclaw." Sybil pressed her mouth together as she nodded vigorously, pushing her glasses further up onto her nose.

"There is no way you could know that." Severus crossed his arms.

"No, I know." Sybil shrugged.

"How?" Lily asked as she tucked some hair behind her ear.

"Well, my grandmother was seer. I inherited her gift." Sybil explained, her eyes darting from her hands to the two of them and then off into space. Being around her made Severus uncomfortable.

"Could you tell us something about our futures?" Lily inched closer to the peculiar girl.

"I haven't exactly mastered it yet." Sybil reached up and grasped her necklace again.

"Could you try?" Lily pleased.

"I guess, I could try." Sybil held her hand out to Lily. "Let me see your hand."

"Okay." Lily put her hand in hers. "This is exciting, isn't it Severus?"

"Thrilling." Severus replied uninterested. Lily narrowed her eyes at him as a warning, causing him to sigh before leaning forward to feign interest.

"Umm…well…your future husband is attending Hogwarts." Sybil chewed the inside of her lip she examined Lily's hand. "You'll have one child…and…ummm….that's all I can see." Sybil dropped her hand quickly.

"I wonder why I only have one child?" Lily mused to herself. "You do it too, Severus."

"He doesn't have to." Sybil had picked up on his reluctance.

"Nonsense. Severus, please?" Lily flicked her wrist at him urging him to hand over his hand to Sybil. Severus rolled his eyes, but laid his hand in Sybil's.

"Is he going to get married?" Lily asked, giggling.

"Well…his is harder to see." Sybil raised his hand closer to her eyes, inspecting it carefully. "Yes…I think so."

"That's all?" Severus asked as he attempted to not sound smug.

"I don't want to do this anymore." Sybil dropped his hand.

"Did you see something bad?" Lily asked as she reached out and placed her hand on Sybil's forearm.

"I am better with tea leaves." Sybil forced a tight lipped smile. "Maybe I can try again later."

"I would like that, thank you Sybil." Lily nodded. "I'll be right back." She stood and exited the compartment leaving Severus alone with Sybil.

"So…"Severus didn't want Sybil to give Lily a bad report on him so he decided to play nice.

"Would you like to know what you're going to be when we grow up? I saw that." Sybil began chewing on the inside of her lip again.

"Sure." Severus gave a noncommittal shrug.

"You're going to be a professor at Hogwarts one day." She scratched her nose. "So will I."

"A professor? That doesn't sound like anything I would want to do." He laughed.

"You aren't going to _want _to do it, you do it because you'll _have_ to." Sybil explained.

"Have to?" Severus asked. "What does that mean?"

"I don't know, I told you I do better with tea leaves." Sybil pressed her mouth into a line again. He sat back in his seat looking at the girl and her nervous ticks.

"What about Lily, what job will she have?" Severus asked nodding towards the door.

"I didn't see one for her. Maybe she is just going to stay home and take care of her baby." Sybil moved to the seat where Lily had been and gazed out of the window.

"I was just told we need to get our robes on before we get to Hogwarts." Lily cried out breathlessly as she rushed back into the compartment and grabbed her suitcase.

"Who told you that?" Severus asked as he stood up and took hold of his brand new suitcase.

"Some older boy I ran into on my way back." Lily replied. "He was wearing his."

"Oh." Severus asked as he gave a side glance to Sybil, who looked like a skittish bird that was ready to take flight at a moments notice.

* * *

Once they arrived the first years were herded out of the larger herd of children and shuffled to the docks to be taken to the school by boat. Severus didn't understand why they couldn't just go with the rest of the students, splitting them up seemed very impractical. The only solace he took in the event was that he was currently stuck in a small boat with Lily, and Sybil and some boy who had snot dripping from his nose like his head was leaking.

Upon their landing, once again they were herded into the castle without any explanation and told to wait at the top of the stairs. The fear and uncertainty was so thick in the air Severus felt as if he would choke on it. Out of nowhere a tall woman appeared wearing a large hat.

"Students!" She held her hands up to silence them, the group grew as silent as the grave. She wasn't very old, maybe in her forties, she wasn't over intimidating but there was something about her that commanded attention. "I am Professor McGonagall, deputy headmistress and Professor of Transfiguration. In a moment we will all go into the Great Hall, where you will be sorted into your houses. Please remain quiet and respectful."

She spun on her heel and walked to the large doors, pushing them open as if they weighed nothing. The first years followed her in. Immediately, Severus wished he was anywhere but there. All of the older students were already sitting at their tables, and every one of them had their eyes transfixed onto the first years.

His eyes landed on a stool sitting before a large table where he guessed the other Professors were sitting. Atop the stool sat an ancient looking hat. Professor McGonagall picked up a piece of parchment and the hat before addressing them.

"I will call names one at a time. Please come forward, take a seat and I will place the sorting hat atop your head." Her eyes flitted down to the names on the parchment.

The room was engulfed in an anxious anticipation as the students awaited the first years to be sorted into their houses.

"Sybil Trelawney!" McGonagall called out. The nervous girl walked forward and took her place on the stool as the hat was placed upon her head.

"Hmmm, very interesting." The sorting hat spoke, musing to itself. "Ravenclaw!"

Sybil smiled as the hat was removed from her head and she walked off towards her houses table. Severus furrowed his brow, she had been sorted into the house she told them she would be sorted into.

"Lily Evans!" McGonagall called out another name. Severus' attention snapped back to the sorting ceremony as he watched his best friend take her seat. She made eye contact with him and smiled widely as Professor McGonagall placed the hat on her head.

"Very brave and intelligent as well. Where to put you…where to put you?" The sorting hat was speaking again. "Gryffindor!" The hat was removed from her head and Severus watched as she made her way over to the table and sat down.

"James Potter!" McGonagall continued on with the list. A boy taller than Severus bounded up to the stool. He watched as the hat was placed atop the boys head.

"Oh yes, very clear." The sorting hat was attempting to nod, "Gryffindor!" The boy jumped down and made his way over to the table. Severus followed him with his eyes and watched as this James character marched right over to Lily and shook her hand.

"Severus Snape!" McGonagall called. Severus swallowed hard. He had to go to Gryffindor to be with Lily, there was just no other option. Steeling himself he sat down on the stool and felt the hat drop onto his head.

"Interesting. Very difficult, great potential and very smart. Ravenclaw would suit you well, but not what you need…"The sorting hat mumbled as it thought. Severus begged to be sorted into Gryffindor, mentally. "No no, that house isn't for you….you will do well in…SLYTHERIN!"

The hat was removed from his head and reluctantly he stood up and began his walk to the Slytherin table. He kept glancing back to Lily, who was engrossed in conversation with James.

"I don't recognize Snape as a wizarding name." A regal looking blonde boy leaned over, speaking to Severus.

"My mother's maiden name is Prince." Severus replied. He wanted to go home, his insides felt like hot jam and he wanted to cry. Why hadn't his mother just allowed him to stay?

"Prince? Yes, I know that family. Prince is a pureblood line." The boy nodded slowly rubbing his chin. "Is your father pureblood?"

"No." Severus frowned.

"Oh, well, nobody's perfect. The Princes and the Malfoys are old friends, plus you ARE a Slytherin. My name is Lucius, Lucius Malfoy. I'm a sixth year." The blonde boy swung his white gold locks over his shoulder.

"I'm Severus Snape." Severus replied. He wasn't sure what to make of this Lucius character.

"Listen," Lucius leaned closer to him and dropped his voice. "Some things can be overlooked once you're sorted into the right house. Obviously there is something great about you, despite being a half-blood to be sorted into Slytherin. You're one of us now, us Slytherins have to have one another's back. Okay?"

"Yeah, okay." Severus nodded.

The feast ended and Severus watched as Lily bounced out of the Great Hall surrounded by a group of other first years, all laughing and smiling. She hadn't looked his way once since being sorted. His heart sank as the students from Slytherin stood up and began making their way to their rooms. No one was laughing. Severus hung his head and followed everyone else.


	3. First Up, Divination

"Good morning first years, My name is Professor Slughorn and I am the head of Slytherin House. I also teach potions!" Professor Slughorn giggled. Severus sighed with disgust. "I have your class schedules here. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to speak with me or one of the upper years. You may also approach one of our prefects or the head girl or head boy. Any questions so far?"

There was no response.

"Wonderful! Please find your name at the top right hand corner of the parchment. Take your schedule and yours alone and pass the stack to the student to your right." Slughorn was smiling as if her were knackered as he handed the stack of papers to a girl closest to him.

The stack of schedules made its rounds eventually landing in Severus' hands. He thumbed through them until he saw his name, and passed them along. He looked over his schedule and sighed.

He had divination first thing in the morning, with the Ravenclaws. He frowned, that meant of course putting up with Sybil who now thought they were friends, thanks to Lily. He grumbled beneath his breath as he read on further. He did have potions after lunch with the Gryffindors, as well as History of Magic. At least he would have two classes with Lily. His spirits brightened a bit.

* * *

He knew Sybil would zero in on him as soon as she saw him. He watched her scurry over and sit down at his table. She was smiling like a moron, which served to just make him feel even more unpleasant. The Professor walked in, a tiny elderly woman that was no taller than the first years currently seated before her. Her face was aged and set in a firm and seemingly permanent grimace. Severus rolled his eyes. He was going to loathe this class.

"Good morning, class. I see I have Ravenclaw first years as well as Slytherin first years. Welcome, welcome. The art of Divination is unique to the person attempting to master it. Some of you will hold great promise, others will not foresee a cold whilst their nose is running! Be that as it may, as long as you put forth an effort in my class and show that you can learn the art, even if you do not have the gift, I will pass you." The woman adjusted her oversized deep orange robes. "My name is Professor Krykot. Let us start with opening your books to page 212."

Severus reached into his battered satchel and pulled out his Divination text book. He dropped it upon the table with a loud clatter. Professor Krykot gave him a curious look. Clearing her throat she turned to address the class with a flourish that sent her robes dancing around her.

"We shall begin with the very basic in seeing, by learning how to read tea leaves." The elderly woman clasped her hands together with delight. "Go on, pour yourselves a cup of tea. You'll find the tea and serving ware already provided on your tables."

"This is your chance, Sybil." Severus smirked as he watched her pour herself a cup of tea before setting the pot down for Severus to pick up.

"I suppose it is." Sybil sucked her lips in as she pursed her mouth. She appeared to be on the verge of crying.

"Take your time, drink your tea." Professor Krykot moved her hands in a dancing motion towards her mouth. "Now once you finish, hand your cup to your partner. Look at the design the tea leaves are making. You may use your books to interpret what you are seeing."

"I'm finished." Severus smacked his lips as he set his cup down before Sybil.

"Alright." She pushed her glasses up higher on her nose as she reached out and grasped the cup, she peered down, blinking several times. "You…will suffer greatly in your life. You'll be a man of many faces. Your distant future holds the key to end your suffering." She swallowed hard before lifting her eyes to meet his. "Your future wife hasn't been born yet."

"Hasn't been born yet?" Severus asked, his mouth flying open. "Let me see that!" He grabbed his cup from Sybil's hand and looked down at the tea leaves. All he saw was something that looked like a pile of poo beneath a half moon.

"I can tell you when you'll meet her…or at least how old you'll be." Sybil sipped her tea.

"Oh yeah?" Severus sat his cup down and crossed his arms.

"Yes." Sybil lifted her chin a bit smugly. "You won't meet her for another twenty years. You'll be in your thirties."

"If you know so much how old will she be then?" Severus began grinding his teeth.

"She'll be eleven when you meet her, but you won't marry her until she's twenty-three." Sybil gave him a reluctant half-smile. "She won't be born for another eight years." She giggled.

"You're a liar!" Severus whispered harshly, leaning towards her. "You're only saying that because you know I…you know I like someone and you just want to upset me!"

"That's not true! You only think I'm lying because it's a family curse! I'm telling you the truth, you'll see!" Sybil tucked her cup close to her chest as she turned her back to him.

"Is there a problem here?" Professor Krykot has wandered up to them and watched their little scene unfold.

"Sybil was reading my tea leaves." Severus replied giving a quick point to his cup.

"I see," Professor Krykot reached down and picked up his cup, looking closely at the tea leaves. "Tell me, did she tell you that you will shall suffer?"

"Yes." Severus furrowed her brow.

"Did she tell you that you will be in your thirties when you're married?" Professor Krykot sat his cup back down.

"Yes." Severus looked to Sybil, his stomach clenched.

"Ah, it's a simple mis-reading. Your tealeaves simply say you will have the ear of a powerful individual. Perhaps you will work for the Minister of Magic one day?" Professor Krykot smiled before moving on.

"That's not what it says." Sybil mumbled to herself.

"I hate this class." Severus returned the mumbling.

* * *

"Hi, Severus!" Lily took a seat next to him in Potions. "I am loving school so far, everyone in my house is super nice."

"Make a lot of friends, did you?" Severus picked at a scratch in the wood with his fingernail.

"Of course. Haven't you?" Lily knit her brows together.

"No. I did have a terrible first class with Sybil though." Severus huffed, still angry about the reading she gave him.

"She's nice, Severus. What happened that it was so terrible?" Lily asked. Before Severus could answer Professor Slughorn walked in.

"Good-afternoon! I'm Professor Slughorn and I'll be your potions instructor. As half of you know, I am also the head of Slytherin house. Now, let's jump right into it. Everyone, take out your books and turn to chapter one! We must gain a basic understanding of the dangers that come with brewing potions, as well as familiarize ourselves with the safety procedures." Professor Slughorn walked over to his desk and sat down, leaving the students to read.

"So…what happened?" Lily whispered.

"She told me that I wouldn't meet my future wife for twenty years, but that wasn't the worst part." Severus glanced up at Slughorn before continuing. "The worst part was when she said that this person hasn't even been born yet!"

"Well, it's okay to be older than your wife." Lily shrugged.

"No, not the way she meant it. She said I would meet her when she was eleven and I was thirty one, but I wouldn't marry her until she was twenty-three. How gross is that?" He made a face like he was disgusted.

"That is pretty bad." Lily nodded.

"Professor Krykot said she didn't read them right, and she looked at them and said one day I would have the ear of a powerful person." Severus reached up quickly and opened his book when he spotted his head of house looking at them.

"That sounds okay." Lily nodded.

"Better than what Sybil said." Severus replied.

"Hey, greasy, stop talking! Some of us are _trying_ to read!" Severus felt something strike his back, turning he saw it was that James character speaking to him.

"Trying? Can't you read?" Severus sneered.

"I can read!" James shouted.

"You were the one that said you were trying." Severus retorted.

"Stop it, right now!" Lily yanked on his robe to get his attention.

"That's it, you and me after class greasy!" James pointed his finger at Severus.

"Sit down this instant and read!" Slughorn bellowed. He sat back down shaking his head. "Damn first years." He shook his head.

Class went by much faster than Severus had expected. He wasn't ready to part from his best friend. As soon as he made his way out into the corridor he felt a sharp pain in his back and found himself sprawled out on the floor, and angry James looming over him.

"I told you!" As quickly as he came he disappeared from sight, leaving Severus there on the floor surrounded by laughing first years. Lily offered her hand to help him up, which he took.

"Never mind him, Severus, he's nothing but a big jerk." She smiled.

"Yeah, okay," Severus picked up his satchel and scurried away, hoping no one had seen how red his face was or the tears swimming in his eyes.


	4. Home for the Holidays

"Hi, Severus!" Lily bounded over to him as they walked into the Great Hall for their last breakfast before everyone went home for Christmas.

"Hi." Severus replied, smiling.

"Mum sent me an owl this morning. She and Dad are going to be at the train station to meet us and take us home." Lily pulled out the letter and showed him. "Your mum said it was alright for us to take you home."

"Yeah." Severus handed the letter back to her without reading it. That was one problem he didn't have to worry about. He would be lying if he hadn't spent the last few days wondering how he was going to make it all the way home after getting off the train. His Dad had to sell their car a few months before he started school because he had drank away their mortgage payment.

"Do you think your parents would let you come over for Christmas dinner?" Lily stopped just inside the door clutching her books to her chest. Backing up slightly as students rushed between them.

"I don't know." Severus shrugged.

"Well, will you ask? We just stay at home and Mum cooks a big dinner. It would be alright if you just popped over. I know my sister is a bit of a pain but she probably won't bother us too much." Lily laughed, her green eyes were sparkling. He knew that Christmas was her favorite holiday, and he felt a bit guilty that he hated it so much.

"I'll ask." Severus nodded. He didn't know how he would ask, but if Lily wanted him there he could summon the courage to make the effort.

"Great!" Lily bounced on the balls of her feet. "Well, I'm going to go eat. I'll see you later, we'll sit together on the train! If you see Sybil before I do, please ask her to sit with us if she's going home?"

"Yeah, ok, I'll ask her." Severus frowned, he was still upset with that nervous little pest. He walked over and lowered himself onto the bench at his table. He wasn't very hungry. The excitement of the other students could be felt in the air, the hum of their voices buzzed around his head like bees.

He lifted his eyes up to inspect the other students, keeping his face down in hopes his hair would hide his eyes. Everyone was smiling, laughing and joking with one another. A few students were exchanging small gifts with one another. He hated Christmas. His eyes moved from the students to the Christmas décor. If looks could kill the Christmas tree would have turned brown and fell over, smashing the obnoxious glass balls that were stuck all over it. Severus smiled to himself as he imagined the tree falling, the shock on all the faces in the Great Hall, no one knowing it was he who had killed the tree.

"Severus, right?" Lucius sat down beside him, and began filling his plate.

"Yeah." Severus watched as the boy who hadn't spoken to him since the sorting ceremony smiled down at him.

"Are you going home?" Lucius asked as he took a dainty bite of egg.

"Yes." Severus decided he should probably attempt to eat something.

"My mother sent your mother an invitation to attend our world famous Christmas Eve party." Lucius lifted his chin slightly as he spoke emphasizing the importance of what he just said. "My mother said it was proper to invite a Prince to the party, after all they _ARE_ still a pure-blood family."

"Oh," Severus wasn't sure what to say. His mother never spoke about her life before she married his father.

"She has yet to receive an R.S.V.P, but I assured her it was no doubt a simple oversight on the part of your mother. She must receive so many requests, I would imagine." Lucius narrowed his eyes.

"I'm sure that's it." Severus nodded. "I'll bring it up to her when I get home tonight."

"Wonderful!" Lucius flicked an eyebrow upward. "It's a shame your friend wasn't sorted into Slytherin. It's rumored she is quite intelligent."

"Lily?" Severus looked over to the Gryffindor table and spotted her speaking to another girl, whom he didn't know.

"That's her name?" Lucius asked as he followed Severus' gaze to the Gryffindor table. "It's of little consequence. I bring it up, merely to help you of course…It's my duty to inform you that it isn't wise to continue your friendship. I don't believe anyone has taken the time to fully explain the history of our houses to you?"

"No, no one's said anything to me." Severus shook his head, concerned.

"Gryffindor is our rival. It wouldn't bode well for you among the other Slytherins to be seen continually conversing with a Gryffindor. It's usually nothing your first year. I would say the rival isn't even that strong second or third year, but by fourth year you'll see it."

"I've known Lily since before coming to Hogwarts." Severus explained. A few of the older Slytherin students were now staring at him, having been eavesdropping on their conversation.

"I'm not saying _you're_ in the wrong. I'm telling you those other _Gryffindors_ are going to turn her against you because _you _are a _Slytherin_. The sooner you accept that the better off you'll be to be honest." Lucius turned and took the hand of a girl who sat next to him. Severus watched as he pressed a kiss to the girls' hand. "Dearest, this is Severus he's a first year. Severus, this in my Narcissa."

"How nice to meet you, Severus." Narcissa smiled and tilted her head the way rich people do when they don't really want to interact with you. Severus recognized that look from the people in the shops back home, they all looked at his mother that way.

"Nice to meet you too." Severus swallowed hard.

"I can appreciate how difficult this must be for you, but being a Malfoy I must take the younger Slytherins under my wing and teach you the ways of Howgwarts, after all I won't be a student here forever. I must ensure I will be leaving the house in good hands as it were." Lucius sipped his juice, pinky out.

"Uhh…thanks?" Severus pondered over everything he was just told.

"No need to thank me." Lucius gave a curt nod before turning to his girlfriend.

* * *

The ride home was long and boring. Severus had watched the night sky for most of the trip. Lily and Sybil had been completely engrossed in their own conversations about classes and homework. They spoke about things he didn't know about, he wasn't included in their 'inside jokes' because they had more classes together than they did with him.

He wanted to strangle himself with his school issued tie after their twenty-minute discussion about how cute some of the magical creatures they were learning about in Care of Magical Creatures were. That class seemed to be almost as useless as Divination. Like he wanted to grow up and spend his life mucking out some stable for a Hippogriff.

"Severus?" Lily pulled him out of his thoughts. "What are you hoping you get for Christmas?"

"I don't care." He shrugged.

"You have to care! Everyone cares what they get!" Lily laughed as she gave Sybil a nudge with her elbow. Sybil jumped at the sudden poke, looking down at her olive green sweater.

"I really don't, I don't need anything." He replied. Of course he cared, but what was the use? Christmas never came to the Snape household, it was just another day. Sure, his mother would try, usually giving him socks or something. It was definitely not like the Christmas' he heard the other students describing. His mouth salivated at the memory of the Christmas dinner descriptions he had listened to in Charms class. They had the same meal every year, cabbage and potato soup. Severus grimaced internally. Calling it soup was a generous description, it was usually more water than anything else. Of course following the Snape family Christmas tradition, his father would sit down look at the soup and start yelling, asking where the meat was. Eileen would try to explain there wasn't money for the meat, and he would accuse her of spending it on frivolities. All of it was a load of bollocks, his father never gave the money to his mother to buy the damned meat. The money went, where most of the money tended to go, down his father's throat in the form of whatever alcohol he could buy with that amount.

"There _has_ to be something you want. Everyone wants something, even if it's impossible." Lily pulled her legs under her.

"I don't know, I guess I would like some potions stuff. I like that class the best, so far. Maybe a little kit or something so I could practice?" Severus grabbed the first thing he could think of.

"See, you want something!" Lily was beaming.

"I want my own owl." Sybil interjected. Lily and Severus looked to her as she smoothed down a portion of her hair. "When I went to Diagon Alley to do my shopping they were out, so I didn't get one. Well…they weren't out so much as all they had left was one really old sad looking owl. My Dad wouldn't buy it. He said it was a waste of money to buy something that looked one flight away from death."

"That's terrible, the poor thing." Lily frowned. "I wonder why they don't just set them free once they get old?"

"They've been dependent on people too long, I'd imagine. If they let them go they would probably just keep coming back to be fed." Severus offered up the best explanation he could think of.

"That makes sense." Lily nodded. "Hey! Look!" She pointed out the window. Large fat snowflakes had begun to fall. "Oh, now it _really_ feels like Christmas!"

* * *

"Thank you, Mr. Evans." Severus got out of the vehicle slowly. Lily was looking past him at his house. It didn't look like much, and not in that nice way either. He heard his mother say 'It doesn't look like much, but it's home.' No, it didn't look like much because it was an intolerable shithole. Lily's Dad followed him and opened the boot to retrieve his suitcase.

"It wasn't a problem, Severus. We hope you can join us for Christmas dinner!" He smiled. He had the same green eyes as his daughter.

"I'll try to make it." Severus replied as he turned to walk up the battered and uneven walkway. He heard the car door close and turning back slightly he spotted Lily waving slowly at him. Severus waved back before starting back towards his house.

Making his way up the rickety snow covered front stairs he hesitantly opened the door. There was dead silence. Severus sat his suitcase down and continued forward further into the house. Finally, he found his mother sitting in front of a small fire. His father was nowhere to be found.

"Hi, Mum, I'm home." Severus cleared his throat. He watched her startle and turn, a fresh bruise on her cheek.

"Tiddles! Oh, my boy! I'm so happy to see you!" She got up and came toward him, engulfing him in her arms.

"Mum, what happened?" He spoke into her chest.

"It's nothing," Eileen laughed. "Really, don't worry yourself over it. Tell me how school is going!"

"It's terrible with an occasion non terrible day." Severus replied blandly.

"Oh now, it can't be all that bad." Eileen tutted. He watched as he bustled around the stark room, fixing a tattered afghan that hung on the back of the patched up couch. There was nothing in their small house to indicate it was Christmas.

"Mum, I have something for you. I know it's not quite Christmas yet, but…I can't wait." He smiled widely. It was the sole reason he wanted to come home. He found out that most of the people in his house came from wealthy families, and they didn't like writing feet of parchment. For the past month, he had been charging people to do their work. Sticking his hand deep into his pocket he pulled out 1 galleon and 12 muggle pounds, he opened his hand palm up for her.

"Oh, Severus! Where did you get this?" Eileen reached out quickly and closed his fingers over the money.

"I earned it, for you." Severus thrust out his hand once more to her.

"Thank you so much, but I can't take it sweetheart." Eileen smiled sadly, wisps of gray and black hair falling from their tether.

"Mum, please take it. I worked really hard for it, use it to buy meat for Christmas dinner." He couldn't stop the hurt look from forming on his face. Eileen sighed softly before sitting down on their gray sofa. She gently patted the area next to her inviting him to sit, he obeyed. Looking up her eyes suddenly looked far away. Severus looked in the same direction, all he saw was the paint peeling from their walls and the thin curtains hanging from the rods like old rags. "I appreciate that you did this for me. Truly, I do. You're such a sweet boy. I can't accept it because your father would ask where I got it."

"I'll tell him I earned it!" Severus leaned forward enthusiastically.

"Darling, my sweet little Severus." She reached up and cupped his face. "He would only get angry. No, Tiddles, keep your money."

"Mum…" He pleaded, desperate to help her.

"I said no, and that's final, sweetheart." Her voice was firm but gentle as she shook her head. "Now, go and take your suitcase to your room and clean up before your father gets home."

"Fine." He stood up, defeated as he went to retrieve his things. As he lugged the suitcase up the creaking staircase and entered his lonely little room, which contained nothing more than his cot he finally allowed himself to cry. Severus plopped down atop his familiar brown coverlet and allowed the tears to fall freely, sniffling he wiped his nose on the back of his hand.

No matter what he did, he couldn't help her. He thought back to how Lily's family was. They smiled at one another. They looked happy and content. Forcing himself to stop crying he wiped his face.

"I'll never be like this when I grow up. I'm not going to be like _him_." Severus vowed to himself. The front door slammed, shaking the floor of his room.

"EILEEN!" His father's voice boomed sending a bolt of fear to his very core. "WHERE'S MY DINNER?"

"Tobias, dear, I have it waiting for you on the table!" Eileen replied, her voice dripping with kindness. Severus cringed. How could she be so nice to him? "Severus is home for the Christmas holiday."

"Little ingrate! He should have stayed where he was, dammit! You know I didn't want him going off to that freak show of a school! The boy knows how to read and write, that's all a man needs to know. He should be out working with his hands. But, NO, the little fuck is too bloody good to be like his old man!" His father was yelling at the top of his lungs now. "Where is the little shite?"

"He's putting his things away, Tobias." Eileen replied. He heard a crash, a glass striking the wall if he had to venture a guess.

"BOY! Get down here!" Severus jumped up, wiping his face once more to ensure there were no signs that he had been crying, before making his way down the stairs as fast as his legs could carry him. He rounded the corner and saw his father sitting at the table, his mother standing at the stove stirring something.

"Hello, Father." Severus spoke hesitantly.

"Sit down." Tobias pointed to the chair opposite him. Severus moved quickly and quietly to pull out the chair and lower himself into it. His eyes never left his fathers leathered face. "Why did you come home?"

"It's…Christmas, sir." He replied, casting a furtive glance to his mother. Eileen walked up beside him and placed his dinner before him.

"It's Christmas…sir." His father raised the pitch of his voice and mocked Severus. "Don't bloody think you came back just to sit around here all day and eat _my_ food, boy! You came back and I'm going to put you to work, you can bet on it!"

"Yes, sir." Severus lowered his face as he picked up his fork.


	5. It Isn't Charity

Severus pulled his blanket up to his nose as he turned and looked towards his small window. Sunlight was just beginning to filter through the pale yellow curtains. It was Christmas. He has heard his father stumble in just an hour or so earlier, and now the house sat blessedly silent. There was no point in waking up, not yet. Severus knew there were no gifts waiting for him downstairs, his mother would try to turn breakfast into something Christmas-y for him.

Rolling over he stuck his arm behind his head and starred at the crack in the ceiling as he recalled the past Christmases. One year his mother gave him one of her old books, the following year she had managed to get him the very blanket he was beneath. It has smelled funny and had several loose threads dangling from the end. It was obvious it wasn't new, but oh how she had smiled when she presented it to him. He was eight. Her excitement made him happy, and no matter how much he wanted to ask where she had got it, he didn't. Instead he feigned happiness to the extent he considered that it was an insult. If she had taken it that way, she never showed it.

He did have a gift for her. He had used a bit of his money and asked an older classmate to buy it for him on their trip to Hogsmeade. Leaning up on his arm, Severus reached beneath his pillow and pulled out the pathetically small bottle of perfume. Lying back down he turned the small vial over and over in his hands, reading the label. 'L'eau de Soleil.' He had no idea what it said in French, but the writing underneath was in English. He narrowed his eyes and read the words again, for the hundredth time: Elixir of the Sun. Severus furrowed his brow. What did the sun smell like?

Faint footsteps came from the stairs, and he sat up. That was his mother, heading downstairs as quietly as possible. He clutched the perfume tightly. His housemates had been commenting on his ability to move soundlessly. What they didn't know it was a skill learned the hard way. Severus winced as he recalled the beatings he received for making too much noise and waking his sleeping father.

Silently he crept from his bed. His pajamas hung from his small frame, being hand me downs from his father. Clutching the precious bottle of perfume he followed the sound of his mother's voice, humming her favorite song quietly to herself as she stood in the kitchen. He didn't understand her love for that American muggle, Frank somebody, but there she stood covered in her faded housecoat swaying as she hummed. Severus stopped and listened to her for a moment, he could hear the lyrics in his head '…_If you go away, If you go away, If you go away…but if you stay I'll make you a day like no day has been or will be again…' _

"Mum?" He whispered, hating to interrupt her. She turned smiling, holding her small cup of tea.

"Happy Christmas, Severus!" She beamed as she whispered.

"Happy Christmas, Mum." Severus walked over to her. "I have a gift for you." He handed over the bottle. He watched as his mother's eyebrows shot up in delight. She looked down at that tiny, cheap bottle like he had just handed her a bar of gold. Uncapping it she brought it to her nose and inhaled.

"Thank you, Severus. It's wonderful!" Quickly recapping it she wrapped her arms around him and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. "You're such a thoughtful boy!"

"I'm glad you like it." He replied, smiling. She pulled back keeping him at arms length.

"I have a surprise for you too!" She beamed, slipping the perfume into her pocket. "Follow me!"

His mother took him by the hand and led him into the next room, where to his surprise, a small stack of presents were waiting for him. His jaw dropped as he starred at them in disbelief.

"Are those…?" Severus stammered. Eileen laughed softly.

"They're all for you, Tiddles. I found them on the front stoop this morning." Gently she pushed his back urging them towards his gifts. Still stunned, he walked over and dropped himself onto the floor as he reached for the first small box wrapped in shiny red paper. He turned it over in his hands until he spotted the tag.

To: Severus, Happy Christmas! –Professor McGonagall.

He furrowed his brow as he read the tag once more. Sitting it down he picked up another, from Professor Dumbledore, another from Professor Slughorn, another from Lucius and finally the last one from Lily. He clutched hers to his chest as he looked over to his mother who was now seated on the edge of the sofa, watching him excitedly.

"Mum, all but one are from my professors."

"Wasn't that sweet of them?" Eileen asked, nodding towards them.

"It's charity, I don't want them if they're out of pity." Severus frowned.

"Sweetheart," Eileen sighed as she maneuvered to sit next to him on the floor. "It isn't charity. At Christmas people who care want to show you they care, these professors obviously care about you, dear."

"Do you really think they care, Mum?" He lifted his large dark eyes to look at her face. She smiled.

"Yes, I do, Severus. You're a sweet boy." Eileen patted his hand. "Go on now, open your gifts and show me what they sent you!"

"Okay." He grabbed the one he had first picked up. He cast one last glance up at her before tearing into the paper. She always had a way of making him feel better.

Professor McGonagall had sent him a new inkwell and a set of quills, Professor Dumbledore sent a huge bag of Bertie and Botts Every Flavor Jelly Beans and a book on the magical properties of ferns, fungi, fauna and their uses in potions, Professor Slughorn gave him a book on 1,001 potions for mastery of advanced magical children, and Lucius sent him silver Slytherin cuff links. He sat back looking at all the gifts that had been sent to him. Severus couldn't help but smile, this was the best Christmas he ever had.

"Your professors know you so well, Tiddles! How very thoughtful of them! You must send them thank you notes, Severus. It's the polite thing to do." Eileen had picked up his book from Professor Dumbledore and was running her fingertips over its royal blue leather binding.

"I will, Mum." Severus replied as he looked down at his gift from Lily. He had a present for her too, but it wasn't very big. He made her a friendship bracelet out of strings he pulled from the Slytherin crest tapestry that hung in their common room. Inhaling deeply he opened ripped the silver paper from the box. It was a long wooden box, with a brass hinged lid. Unfastening the tiny lock, he opened it.

"OH!" Eileen gasped. Severus blinked a few times, unable to believe what he was seeing. Inside the box was a small potions kit, the exact thing he has asked for. Inside the box were several different sized of glass vials, a wooden vial and a brass vial. There were glass stirring rods and a wooden stirring rod. A pestle and mortar were also included. "Oh, Severus, that gift is too generous! It must have cost that sweet child a fortune! Is there a note?"

"Yes, here it is!" He pulled out a small envelope that had been tucked into the lid of the wooden box. "It says, Happy Christmas Severus! Love, The Evans. It's from her and her family."

"I'm sorry, Tiddles. I'm afraid our gift to you isn't quite as nice as the ones you have there." Eileen pressed her mouth together, giving him a smile that looked like she was about to burst into tears. Bending over the arm of the sofa she pulled a tiny package from the floor, wrapped in a newspaper, and handed it to him.

He gave her a questioning look before opening it. Tearing open the newspaper he saw her most prized possession laying in the palm of his hand, her silhouette broach.

"Mum, I can't accept this. It's yours." Severus closed his fingers over it. Eileen shook her head.

"I want you to have it, because it means the world to me just like you. When I was a little girl I had a best friend, Jean Baker. She was a muggle, but she and I were very close. We bought identical broaches before our weddings, we were married just a month apart. Oh, I haven't seen Jean in so very long." Eileen sighed as she remembered her friend. "I believe I was pregnant with you the last time I saw her. She had a little girl already walking," Eileen laughed lightly, "I believe her name was Margaret."

"Are you sure, Mum? I promise it won't hurt my feelings if you would rather keep it." Severus stood up amongst the shredded Christmas paper and walked over to his mother.

"I'm very sure. I know you will take very good care of it, love." He gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Now, go on and take all of your new things to your room and put them away nicely. Don't worry about the mess, I'll have it cleaned up before you come back down for breakfast."

"Thank you." Severus beamed at his mother as he gathered his gifts together. "This was the best Christmas."

"Where do you think you're going?" Tobias shouted from his chair in the kitchen. He was already knackered and staring down into his Christmas soup.

"I was invited to my friend's house. I don't want to be rude." Severus replied as he tried to pull on his coat with his mittens already on.

"Did you ask permission to go?" Tobias was now emphasizing each word by pointing his spoon sharply at him with quick jabs.

"Yes, sir. I asked." Severus nodded. He knew he didn't ask, he was just praying that his father thought he had given him permission to go.

"You did?" Tobias dropped his hand holding the spoon onto the table.

"Yes, sir. You said that as long as I did some work and earned some money I could go." Severus pulled his mitten off and stuck his hand deep into his pocket and pulled out 8 pounds of the 12 he had saved, and put it on the table before his father, whose eyes went wide.

"You earned this?" Tobias asked. Severus looked to his mother who was biting her lip before he answered.

"Yes, sir. I shoveled snow." Severus nodded.

"Oh, well, good job, son." Tobias smiled as he snatched up the money and began counting it. "Some time away has done you some good I see."

"Yes, sir." Severus nodded again as he began pulling on his mitten.

"Well…go on then." Tobias shooed him with his hand as he stuck the money into his pocket. As Severus turned the doorknob to leave he heard his father speaking to his mother.

"I'm going out, Eileen. Tell the boy when he gets back to go out and see if he can't bring me 10 pounds this time!"

"Yes, dear. Have a good time." Her voice sounded defeated. Severus pulled the door open and walked out into the cold night air.

* * *

"What's wrong?" Lily asked as she played with a red ribbon she had pulled from a candy.

"I can't believe how nice your house is," Severus sat looking at everything wide eyed. Their tree was huge and neatly trimmed and white twinkle lights were running across their mantle. The house smelled wonderful.

"Oh," Lily giggled. "Here let me take your coat."

"Alright." Severus handed it to her. "Thank you for your present."

"You're welcome! Did you like it?" Lily asked as she led him into their dining room where the rest of her family sat.

"Very much." Severus saw everyone sitting, ready to eat. Lily's sister Petunia gave him a nasty look.

"Happy Christmas!" Rose cried out as she saw Severus. Harold turned around in his chair to look at him too.

"Here, Severus, I saved you a seat." He pointed to the seat beside him. Lily walked to the other side to sit opposite him, beside Petunia.

"Thank you." Severus smiled as he pulled out the chair and sat down. "I'm sorry I'm late and thank you very much for your gift. It was very nice of you."

"Oh, dear, it's fine. We are so glad to hear you liked your gift. I confess I was a bit worried you wouldn't care for it." Rose smiled as she poured him a glass of milk. "We usually eat in the afternoon, but we decided to wait until this evening to ensure you could join us."

"Thank you." Severus was preoccupied looking at everything on the table. There was a roast turkey, stuffing, gravy, mashed potatoes, brussels sprouts and parsnips, redcurrant jelly and Christmas pudding. "Everything looks wonderful, Mrs. Evans."

"Aren't you a dear?" Rose smiled as she shook out her napkin before placing it on her lap. He watched as Lily did the same, this time noting a gold bracelet dangling from her wrist.

"That's a nice bracelet, Lily. Did you get it for Christmas?" Severus asked as he imitated what he saw by putting his napkin on his lap.

"Oh," Lily's cheeks went pink.

"She got it from one of those _freak_ boys you two go to school with." Petunia said nastily.

"Petunia, that's quite enough!" Rose chastised her daughter.

"James sent it to me. I can't imagine why, though." Lily explained. The friendship bracelet he made her suddenly felt like it was burning him through his pocket, and shame settled down on him. Suddenly, he wasn't as hungry as he thought he was.


	6. Yes, Sybil

"Did you have a nice Christmas?" Sybil was overly cheerful as she plopped her weight down onto the seat across from him. Severus had his chin in hand as he turned. She was wearing some sort of floral monstrosity she no doubt called a dress. It was a god awful shade of yellow with large daisies printed on it, each one having a large mud colored center and massive white petals poking out.

"Wonderful." Severus replied in a monotone voice.

"I got the owl I wanted!" Sybil continued on, ignoring Severus' tone. "Oh," Sybil shoved her glasses up on her nose and looked around a bit frantically. "Where's Lily?"

"I don't know." Severus turned his eyes back to the passersby still on the platform. "I took the bus, we didn't come together."

"I'm sure she'll be here soon." Sybil scooted herself back further into the seat, smoothing her dress as she moved. Severus huffed, his breath fogging up the window. His mind went back to Christmas. The memory of that stupid gold bracelet on Lily's wrist made him want to punch something or learn a terrible hex and cast it at someone. He had fought himself all night about whether to give her his gift or not. Finally as she walked him to the door on his way out, he decided to give it to her. The last thing he wanted to do was to let her think he hadn't thought of her. He replayed the moment in his mind:

_"__I have a present for you." Severus mumbled as he threw his coat over his arm. _

_"__You do?" Lily clasped her hands together in front of her smiling._

_"__Yeah." He reached into his pocket to retrieve it. "It isn't as nice as that." He nodded towards the gold bracelet. "I made it for you." He put the little green braided bracelet in the palm of her hand. _

_"__Ohhhhh!" Lily's mouth made an O shape as she picked it up by its tiny tasseled end and held it up to get a good look at it. "I love it, thank you Severus."_

_"__It's a friendship bracelet." He thought he needed to explain._

_"__Will you tie it on me, please?" She held out the opposite wrist, without the bracelet. Severus took the ends and tied it around her wrist. "It's very pretty, I can't believe you made it!"_

_"__It's nothing. I'm sorry it isn't fancier." Severus pulled his coat on._

_"__Don't say that, Severus!" Lily reached out and slapped his arm. "You made it and that's better than anything that can be bought."_

She did like it, she said so. He let his forehead drop against the glass. They're eleven, of course a braided bracelet was okay. James was a pureblood wizard and his family had money. That sort of thing may not matter now, but it will matter later. On the other hand, Lily was his very best friend, the fact he came from a poor family never bothered her before.

"Hi!" Lily cried out as she entered the compartment.

"Hi, Lily!" Sybil was waving at her. Severus ran the palm of his hand over his face. "Did you have a nice Christmas?"

"I did!" Lily replied as she removed her coat and took a seat next to Sybil. "Did you get the owl you wanted?"

"Yes!" Sybil nodded sending her frizzy blonde hair into a frenzy. "Oh, what's that on your arm?" Sybil reached down and took hold of Lily's wrist. Severus craned his neck to get a good look, it was a green mark encircling her wrist. He held his breath, the dye from the thread he used must have rubbed off on her skin.

"Oh, that." Lily took her arm back from Sybil's grip and rubbed the mark as she laughed, half embarrassed. "Would you believe that gold bracelet James sent me was fake? It turned my skin green." Lily turned her large green eyes to her best friend. They shared a split second of straight faced silence before they both burst out laughing.

"I'm confused." Sybil scrunched her nose up as her eyes moved back and forth between Severus and Lily. "Why is this funny?"

"Did it really turn your arm green?" Severus held his stomach as he laughed.

"YES, look!" She held her arm up for him to see. They both laughed harder. "It's okay, though! My Dad took me to Diagon Alley and I bought some chocolates that will turn him green for 48 hours!"

"Oh, Oh!" Severus held his hand up, he was laughing so hard tears were spilling down his cheek.

"Turning someone green is funny?" Sybil was still tyring to figure out the situation. Lily reached over and put her hand on Sybil's arm.

"It's payback Sybil."

"Oh, and we think that payback is funny, yes?" Sybil looked to both of them eagerly.

"Yes, It's bloody hilarious!" Severus was taking deep breaths trying to stop from laughing. Sybil joined in laughing and suddenly snorted, causing the Lily and Severus to laugh harder.

"I've never heard you laugh so hard, Sybil!" Lily cried out. Sybil couldn't stop laughing she merely waved her hand before covering her mouth.

* * *

"Severus, I missed you at the Christmas Eve party." Lucius was standing in his doorway, arms crossed, one leg draped neatly over the other as he inspected his fingernail. Severus stopped unpacking and swallowed hard before responding.

"Oh, umm…my mother never received the invitation, Lucius." Severus lied. He hadn't even asked her about it.

"What a pity." Lucius dropped his hand as he swaggered into Severus' room. "I take it you did receive my gift?"

"Yes," Severus quickly reached into his suitcase and pulled them out showing them in the palm of his hand. "There really nice. I wanted to tell you thank you, but I really can't accept them. They're far too expensive."

"Nonsense." Lucius smiled widely. "Too expensive, really, you are just too adorable. I like you Severus. I need more humble friends. I know I have a huge ego, it's not an insult for you to think that. The trouble with having an ego is that one cannot surround themselves with others cut from the same cloth."

"Oh?" Severus asked, furrowing his brow.

"We'll talk soon." Lucius lifted his chin before exiting Severus' room.

* * *

"We're doing tea leaves again." Sybil leaned across the table and whispered to Severus whose good mood quickly turned sour.

"Why?" He sighed angrily.

"Professor Krykot is out today. Professor Dumbledore is filling it." Sybil explained as she poured herself a cup of tea.

"Hello, class!" Dumbledore peered over his half-moon spectacles at the students. "I'm filling in today, as you may have noticed Professor Krykot is not here. She had a bit of a mishap but will return as soon as she can. Now, I would like to go over the tea leaves lesson. Go on, you can pour yourselves each a cup."

"All you're going to tell me is the same thing you said before." Severus pouted before pouring his cup. "This is pointless."

"Nothing is pointless." Professor Dumbledore was standing behind him. Severus looked quickly to the front of the class where he had just seen him and then back up at him. "Drink your tea and I shall look at the leaves."

Severus did as Professor Dumbledore asked. He then handed the cup over to the old man. Professor Dumbledore looked into the cup.

"Hmm, yes…..oh my…..hmmm….yes, I see." He was speaking to himself as he inspected the tea leaves. Suddenly he handed the cup back to Severus. "You're not quite ready to understand what the leaves said, my boy."

"Did you see the girl born in 1979?" Sybil asked enthusiastically, gripping her cup so hard Severus thought she was going to smash it into a million tiny pieces.

"Ah, Sybil!" Dumbledore walked over to her. "Why do you ask?"

"When I looked at his tea leaves the first time, I saw a girl born in 1979. He's going to marry her." Sybil explained. The class suddenly was giggling and whispering. Severus' face went red from embarrassment.

"Sybil, be a dear and stay after class would you?" Professor Dumbledore asked as he walked away.

"Why did you have to say that so loud?" Severus whispered harshly.

"It's the truth!" Sybil's eyes went larger than usual and her bottom lip began to quiver.

"Okay, calm down!" He was exhasperated with her, and he crossed his arms atop the table and put his chin on his arm.

"Are we still friends?" Sybil's voice was so tiny and fragile.

"Yes, Sybil." Severus forced a smile.


	7. A Birthday and a Bully

Well…he was twelve. His mother sent a little note to him at breakfast wishing him a happy birthday but she was the only one that morning to remember. He had waited for Lily to come over and say something, but she hadn't made a move since sitting down next to a girl he had learned from Sybil, was named Alice.

Before getting too upset he tried to tell himself she couldn't just get up and walk over the Slytherin table, so he lifted his chin and decided she would come talk to him once everyone was heading off to class. He lingered as the students exited. Looking through the crowd he waited to her ginger hair amongst the dark robes. They never came.

But, Sybil did.

"Happy Birthday!" She smiled widely, hoisting her books up higher in her grip.

"Thanks." Severus mumbled, turning to leave the Great Hall. Sybil was walking quickly to keep up with him.

"I have a gift for you." Sybil sniffed, as the books almost fell out of her arms. "I'll give it to you once we get to class. I can't quite reach it at the moment."

"Yeah, alright." Severus nodded. His eyes scanned the hall. He was still praying mentally that Lily was looking for him and that perhaps they had just missed one another.

Severus sat down and violently pulled his book from his satchel. It wasn't like he wanted anything from her, he just wanted to be remembered…by her.

"Here!" Sybil thrust a package at him. His eyebrows rose as he took it.

"You really got me a gift?" He was a bit confused and shocked.

"It's not much, but it is your birthday, mmm hmm." Sybil, again, sucked her lips in as she nodded violently. He hesitated for a moment before opening it. It really could be anything, Sybil wasn't exactly known to be very predictable. Inside the package was a book, a small leather bound book. _The Winter's Tale. _Severus lifted his eyes to see a beaming Sybil.

"A Shakespeare play?" He wanted to laugh at how odd the gift was.

"It's very good." Sybil nodded as she pointed to it.

"Thanks." He smiled. Sybil was alright, even if she was really strange.

"You're welcome!" Sybil bounced back in her seat a bit, turning her attention to the professor. He looked back down at the red leather bound book. It was sweet of her to think of him, even if he had no intention of reading it.

* * *

Severus made his way to Potions. Maybe Lily was waiting until class to approach him. He felt pretty good, his mood not as dour as it usually was. After all, Sybil remembered. If she remembered Lily had to. Turning the corner he ran into someone, dropping his satchel, its contents spilling out onto the hard stone floor.

"Watch where you're going!" A voice bellowed. It was James. "Oh, it's you. You should apologize, it's the polite thing to do. Or did your mother never teach you manners?"

"Don't speak about my mother!" Severus balled his fists at his side.

"Oh? Don't talk about your mother? Why? Are you some kind of Mummy's boy, greasy?" James smirked as his stupid friends laughed behind him, egging him on. The Slytherin first years who had seen the incident straggled behind in the hallway, all of their eyes directed at Severus.

"Take it back!" Severus demanded, narrowing his eyes.

"Or what? You'll tell your Mummy on me?" James howled with laughter at himself.

"No!" He cried in response. "I'll…I'll…fight you!" He raised his fists up.

"You'll fight me?" James was now rolling with laughter, his hand on his abdomen. "Oh, please, greasy!" James pulled out his wand and pointed it at Severus face.

He didn't even hear what James muttered as he was hit. A sudden sharp flash of pain shot through his face like whip crack. He felt as if his eyes were going to explode out of his head as he shot backwards, his skull bouncing off of the stones. Severus felt something warm running down over his mouth and chin, his hands shooting up to hold the injury.

"Oh! Severus! James you big bully, what did you do?" Lily was screeching. Severus lay there not wanting to move.

"He started it." James whined.

"Severus?" Lily was beside him, shaking his shoulder. "Quick! Someone fetch Professor Slughorn! Severus, can you hear me?"

"Ugh." He replied opening his eyes slightly, his vision focusing on her face.

"Don't try to move, I think your nose is broken." She was frowning.

"Alright! Alright! What's going on out here?" Professor Slughorn seemed annoyed. "Severus? What are you doing on the floor?"

"James hit him with a hex, Professor, I think he's hurt badly." Lily replied. Professor Slughorn scurried over and knelt down beside him, inspecting the injuries.

"Yes, yes, I should say he is. Well, this warrants a trip to Madame Promfrey Severus. Come on, that's a good lad." Professor Slughorn took his hand and put the other hand behind his shoulder and hoisted him up from the floor. "Lily, would you be so kind as to escort him?"

"Yes, sir." Lily nodded, reaching down and gathering up his belongings that still littered the floor.

"As for you James, twenty points from Gryffindor for your shenanigans! I shall also mention this to Professor McGonagall, you would do well to expect detention!" Slughorn pointed into his classroom "Everyone inside, there's nothing more to see out here."

"I'm so sorry he did that, Severus." Lily reached into her pocket and took out her handkerchief, handing it to him to stop the bleeding from his nose. "This is a terrible way for you to spend your birthday."

"You did remember." He smiled through the pain and blood.

"Of course." Her brow furrowed. "I couldn't forget your birthday, you're my best friend. Now enough, come on, we're here."

"Good grief!" Madame Pomfrey cried at the sight of Severus' face. "Your nose is surely broken!"

"Can you fix it?" Lily asked hopefully.

"Of course, noses are nothing to fix." Madame Pomfrey pulled her wand out. Severus stopped her. Everyone had seen what happened. He needed to keep the battle wound or his housemates would think him weak. He could always get it fixed later, but he couldn't allow it to be fixed just yet.

"No, don't fix it." He said flatly. Madame Pomfrey dropped her hand holding the wand and starred at him perplexed.

"Why don't you want it fixed?" Lily asked as he put her hand on his forearm, looking into his now swollen eyes.

"It's a guy thing, Lily, you wouldn't understand." Severus shrugged.

"You mean it's some sort of macho thing to prove how tough you are, don't you?" Lily huffed crossing her arms.

"Boys!" Madame Pomfrey threw her hands in the air, rolled her eyes and walked away.

"If she fixes it, everyone will think I'm weak. If I look weak, it will just keep happening." Severus looked to the toes of his shoes dangling from the bed.

"You're mad, Severus Snape." Lily laughed lightly. "It's your nose, and if you don't want it fixed I can't force you nor will I try."

"Thanks." He looked over at her and gave a half smile.

"Here's your present by the way." Lily reached into her bag and pulled out a Slytherin colored scarf. "I made it."

"Thanks." He took it from her and ran his hands over it. "I love it."

"Well, handmade gifts are the best kind of gifts, right?" Lily tossed her hair over her shoulder.

"That's right, the best kind." Severus replied as Madame Pomfrey walked back over and shoved a bag of ice on his face.


	8. A Dark Cloud Looms

"Do you have any plans this summer?" Lily looked up from her book, squinting. It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining brightly and there wasn't a cloud in sight. Students were spread out on the grounds reading or playing games. Severus was picking at the grass.

"I don't know. Do you?" He asked as he started throwing the shredded blades. Sybil was sitting there with them, her knees to her chest and her arms wrapped tightly around her legs.

"Mum and Dad said we may go on holiday to America. Mum has an aunt who moved there after World War II. She married a yank." Lily sighed wistfully. "We've never gone to visit her and Mum said she really wants to see her while she still can."

"Where in America does she live?" Sybil asked dropping her legs.

"I'm not really sure. I think in somewhere called the Midwest, wherever that is." Lily shrugged.

"I'm guessing it's somewhere in the middle, between the east and the actual west." Severus smirked.

"Okay, Mr. Snark." Lily hit him playfully with the book she had been reading.

"We're going somewhere too, but my parents haven't told me where just yet." Sybil interjected.

"Sybil, are both of your parents magical?" Lily turned slightly to get a better look at the girl.

"Mmm Hmm." Sybil nodded.

"Do you have any brothers or sisters?" Lily continued to ask.

"No. There's just me." She shook her head.

"I'm an only child too." Severus shared.

"I wish I were, my sister is just plain awful." Lily frowned. Sybil furrowed her brow at her declaration. "What? She is! Just ask Severus, he's met her."

"Awful may be too kind a word to use in Petunia's case." Severus rose his eye brows and made his eyes wide.

"See." Lily gestured towards him with an open hand and laughed.

"Severus?" They were interrupted. All three of the children turned and looked up and into the face of Professor Dumbledore. "Would you please come with me?"

"I haven't done anything." Severus swallowed hard.

"You're not in trouble, my boy." Professor Dumbledore held out his hand. Severus turned briefly and exchanged a look with Lily before rising from the grass to follow the headmaster.

The walk back to the headmasters' office seemed to take forever. Professor Dumbledore didn't speak the whole time, which gave Severus an ample opportunity to let his imagination run free. Every possible scenario behind the reason the headmaster wanted to speak with him ran through his adolescent mind.

Finally they passed the gargoyle and made their way into his office. To make matters worse, Professor Slughorn was there waiting for them.

"Please, do have a seat, Severus." Professor Dumbledore pointed to a chair nearest his head of house. Silently, Severus obeyed, sliding himself gently into the seat.

"I promise, I've been on my best behavior since the incident outside Professor Slughorn's class, sir. But even that wasn't really my fault." Severus couldn't stop himself from speaking.

"Now, now, we already know that that incident was not of your doing." Professor Slughorn was looking at him oddly.

"Severus, I told you, you are not in trouble." Professor Dumbledore removed his spectacles, wiped them on his periwinkle robes and put them back on his face. Blinking several times before reaching over to a small table that sat beside him and picking up a letter. "I'm afraid I have some rather bad news for you."

"Easy, Albus, easy." Professor Slughorn was wincing. Severus' could feel his heart begin to race.

"I received an owl this afternoon from a Ms. Gibbons, she is one of the Ministries undercovers. They work alongside muggles in places such a hospital to ensure our secret is protected. Severus," Professor Dumbledore moved the edge of his seat and peered at the boy over his spectacles. "It seems as if your mother was brought in yesterday. She's been transferred to St. Mungo's."

"My mother?" Severus felt like he had been punched. "What happened? Will she be alright? Was it my father?"

"Your father?" Professor Slughorn turned abruptly, eyeing Severus.

"They're still testing her." Professor Dumbledore replied choosing not to answer Professor Slughorn. "Upon your acceptance letter your mother writ permission for me to act on your behalf here, due to reasons we need not discuss at the moment. However, should you want to go to St. Mungo's I will gladly take you."

"Yes, please! I need to see my mother!" Severus jumped up.

"Alright, we'll leave in a moment. Would you please be so kind as to wait just outside the door? I have a matter I must discuss with Professor Slughorn before we leave." Professor Dumbledore smiled quietly. Severus nodded and went out into the hall to wait. What he hadn't expected was to over hear the conversation between the two men.

"Horace, you must learn to exercise some tact." Dumbledore was speaking. "The poor boy…his mother gave me permission to act on his behalf because his father is quite against Severus attending Hogwarts."

"That's hardly a reason for the boy to ask if his father had anything to do with his mother's current condition." Professor Slughorn replied, sounding offended.

"His father is quite nasty. We shall have to make preparations to aid the Snape boy should something happen to his mother. I will speak with her concerning this." Dumbledore sighed.

"But is it our place, Albus? Surely the boys' father has more a right than we to decide what's best for him?"

"His father's right, in my eyes, was forfeit the moment he chose to batter the boy and his mother. He's too good to be called a muggle, I would venture human is too good a word to use as well." Severus rubbed the back of his neck as he hung his head. He wasn't sure how Professor Dumbledore knew about everything.

"Perhaps it is nothing and his mother will pull through just fine?" Professor Slughorn's voice sounded as though he was inching his way to the door.

"Let us hope, for the sake of the boy, that is the case." Professor Dumbledore sounded as though he had already given up hope.

Severus backed away from the door a moment before it opened. Professor Slughorn walked through.

"Sir?" Severus stopped him. "Could you please tell Lily Evans what's going on? She's in Gryffindor House."

"I will pass your message onto Professor McGonagall, Severus." Professor Slughorn gave a nod before walking away.

"Severus, you may come in." Professor Dumbledore called from within his office. Hurriedly he ventured back in.

"Before we go, I feel as if I must prepare you. While I do not know the condition of your mother I feel it would be best to err on the side of caution in this instance. I want to assure you that I will do whatever I can for you." Professor Dumbledore placed his hand on Severus' shoulder as he guided him to the floo.

"Thank you, sir. Right now I just want to see my Mum." Severus looked up, his eyes were already swimming.

"Then we will be off. I had a mother, once upon a time. Let us not keep her waiting, mothers tend to feel better when their children are with them." Professor Dumbledore smiled, attempting to make him feel better. Severus nodded and turned his attention to the floo. Professor Dumbledore grabbed a handful of powder as they stepped in.

"St. Mungo's!" He shouted as he threw the powder. In a green flash they were gone.


	9. Be Good

****Sorry for the slow update on this, I had a massive essay due for school. BUT it's up so YAY! WARNING may be a trigger in here.****

Severus trailed the headmaster through the winding halls of St. Mungo's. He kept his head down, he didn't like the way the healers were looking at him. It was bad enough that when they came through the floo they knocked people out of it, sending them sprawling out onto the floor. Professor Dumbledore made quick apologies as he helped them to stand. Leaving Severus to fidget anxiously behind them.

Professor Dumbledore stopped so suddenly, Severus ran right into his back. He had turned and put his hand upon the boys shoulder, and was smiling kindly down at him.

"Severus, my boy, be a good lad and wait out here. I am going to speak with your mothers' healer and find out what's going on before you go in." Professor Dumbledore motioned to an uncomfortable looking chair. Severus knew it was useless to argue with the old man so he did as he was told, even though he wanted to tell him to sod off and run in to see his mother.

He watched as the headmaster disappeared into the room where is mother was. He closed the door behind him. Severus huffed as he cast tentative glances up and down the hall. No one was there, not one healer, not one family member there to visit. Severus furrowed his brow. He wasn't sure what it meant, merely that it had to mean something. This was a hospital. Hospitals were always full of people.

Instead of focusing on that he shook the thought out of his head and redirected his eyes to the door. It felt like ages before Professor Dumbledore opened it. Severus jumped up, prepared for him to invite him in. He didn't. Instead he walked over and sat down in the chair beside the one he had just occupied. The headmaster cleared his throat and adjusted his spectacles before addressing Severus.

"May I go in now?" He finally asked.

"Severus, do sit for a moment before you go in." He dropped his eyes from Severus. In that moment Severus could feel his heart drop into the soles of his feet. Absentmindedly he did as he was told. "Your mother has signed papers before our arrival giving me full legal say over you. I thought it best you know before speaking with her. She fears your father would take you out of Hogwarts should she not…be capable of speaking against it. As our laws are different than those of the muggles your father cannot fight this. Now, I feel I must also tell you…he agreed to it."

"What does this mean?" Severus was confused. Surely his mother needn't worry about all of this, she would heal and go home.

"Son, it means that should something happen to your mother you shall be a ward of Hogwarts." Professor Dumbledore explained.

"Oh." Severus looked to his hands before looking back at the old man. "May I go in now?"

"Yes." Professor Dumbledore nodded slightly. That was all he needed. He was up and walking as fast as he could, into the room.

The room was small, big enough for her bed really. It was mildly lit, the blinds having been drawn to prevent the daylight from filtering in too heavily. On a small table near her bed a candle was lit. His eyes were drawn to the woman in the bed. Severus bounded to her side, taking her hand in his.

"Mum?" Severus asked as he searched her face. She looked so very different than she had the last time he had seen her. Her face was gaunt, the skin drawn tightly and tinged a whitish yellow. She had dark brown circles beneath her dark eyes. It took a moment but finally her eyes found him, sending his heart racing.

"Tiddles! Oh, I'm so glad to see you." Her voice was weak and small as she spoke.

"Mum? What happened?" Severus asked as he lifted her hand and placed a soft kiss on her knuckles.

"Oh, my sweet boy." Eileen closed her eyes, her mouth pressed into a firm line. Severus thought he was going to vomit from his nerves. It was a moment before she opened her eyes again and looked at him. Her eyes were glassy, like she was trying very hard not to cry. "I love you so very much, Severus."

"I love you too, Mum. I don't understand…" Severus could feel a sob rising in his throat but he wrestled it into a lump and forced it to stay put.

"I'm dying, Severus." Her brow knit together as replied, a single tear escaping the corner of her eye.

"No, Mum…oh, no, please don't say that." Severus pleaded. It felt like someone had reached into his chest and cut his heart in two.

"I'm so sorry. There's nothing the healers can do. The muggles couldn't help either, that's how I ended up here." Eileen winced. He could tell she was in pain, her breathing becoming erratic before finally calming. "I wish I could stay with you."

"Mum, please, I need you." Severus couldn't think all he could do was feel and this was the worst feeling in the world.

"Professor Dumbledore assured me he will look after you. That's all I want, Tiddles, to know you are safe." More tears began to flow down her cheeks. "Promise me something, Severus."

"Anything, mum, anything at all." Severus replied eagerly.

"Promise me you will be a good boy. Promise you will work hard and grow up and be happy. Promise me you will be a good man." Eileen was squeezing her sons hand with all the strength she had left.

"I promise, Mum. I promise." The sob broke free from his throat and he shuddered from the force of it. He dropped his face down upon her frail hand and cried his tears onto her. He felt her reach up and stroke his hair.

"Good boy, Severus. My sweet sweet Severus. I will always love you." Her voice tapered off to a whisper, her touch became lighter and lighter. Then nothing.

"Mum?" Severus asked as he lifted his face to look at her. Her eyes were open but they no longer saw anything. He stood up and placed a kiss on her forehead. "I will love you to, Mummy…always." He dropped his head onto her chest and allowed the emotion to pour out of him.

"Severus?" Professor Dumbledore's voice called out. Severus felt a strong gentle hand on his back. "I'm very sorry for your loss, my boy."

Severus didn't know what to say, but he knew he couldn't be there. Shrugging off the headmasters hand he ran. He had never been to St. Mungo's, he wasn't sure where he was going. He just ran, taking the turns as they came. He found himself bursting through a door and standing in a garden. Tears blurred his vision and he stumbled to a small stone bench. Plopping himself down on it he held his head and sobbed.

Professor Dumbledore found him there, still sobbing ten minutes later.

"Severus, please." Professor Dumbledore implored as he sat down beside the mourning child.

"Professor…"Severus lifted his face and cast his swollen eyes upon the old man. His face was blotched red, his cheeks shined from the tears, his nose running freely. "My Mum is gone. My Dad doesn't want me, no one wants me. Why doesn't anyone want me, professor? Why?"

"Come now, Severus." Professor Dumbledore put his arm about his shoulders and comforted him. "You mother did not have a choice, she wanted you very much. Had she been given the choice she would have stayed. Your father…well…any man worth calling himself a man would be proud to have you as a son."

"Really?" Severus sniffed and wiped his nose on the sleeve of his robe.

"Yes." Professor Dumbledore nodded. "I accepted your mothers' request. You will have me. I may just be an old coot, but I do care Severus. All of the professors care. Plus you still have your friends."

"Lily." Severus nodded sadly. "Lily and Sybil."

"In times like these we turn to those who truly care, who will burden our pain alongside us to make the load easier to carry. Come," Professor Dumbledore stood and reached his hand out to the boy. "Let us carry this together."

"Alright." Severus took his hand and stood.


	10. Orphan

"Since you are now a ward of Hogwarts you will be given private rooms for holidays." Professor Dumbledore was walking quite quickly for a man of advanced years. Severus didn't respond, he felt numb. Someone could probably hex him right then and there and he doubted he would even flinch. They came to a door, somewhere near the other private rooms the professors used. "This will be yours, my boy." He opened the door.

It wasn't much to look at. There was a very small sitting area with what looked like an equally small kitchen attached. A medium sized fireplace took up most of the largest wall. Severus hesitantly walked through the door opposite of where they had just come in and found a small bedroom with a brass framed bed in it. To the right was another door which led to his own private bath.

"If it would help, Severus, you can stay here until after the funeral." Professor Dumbledore clasped his hands together as he addressed the boy.

"There isn't much here." He replied. "But I'll stay here, thank you."

"I shall return after dinner and help transfigure some things. I can also have the house elves bring some things in to make it more comfortable. Let's see." Professor Dumbledore stroked his beard as he thought. "You will need a desk of course, some seating…perhaps some shelves?"

"Okay," Severus hugged his arms around himself.

"Would you like something to eat? I can have it brought here if you would prefer." The headmaster turned to the door, reaching for the knob.

"Yes, please." Severus nodded as he turned his back. He started at the sound of the door closing.

Finding himself alone he wandered into his bedroom and plopped face down onto the mattress. He lay there unmoving, trying not to think or feel until the sound of the house elves bringing him his dinner broke his concentration.

The headmaster had let him stay in his small private rooms for a few days, excusing him from meals and classes. On the fourth day he knew they would be leaving to attend his mother's funeral. He stood in his bathroom trying to look his best. That's where Professor Dumbledore found him when the time to leave was at hand.

They walked out of the castle and to the apparition point in silence. He was afraid if he spoke he would start sobbing again. Professor Dumbledore held out his hand to the boy, and he took it, slowly. In the blink of an eye they were gone.

He knew where they were immediately. They were in his backyard. The headmaster was walking up to the back door, leaving Severus to scramble to keep up with him. Professor Dumbledore reached up and rapped thrice upon the rotted wood.

As the creaking door opened, Severus cringed.

"What in the bloody hell do _you _think _you're_ doing here?" Tobias shouted. He was drunk, drunk right before the funeral.

"I've brought young Severus to fetch his belongings before attending his mother's funeral." Professor Dumbledore replied as he pushed past Tobias with such ease he could have been pushing through tall wildflowers.

"You have some nerve you bastard!" Tobias stumbled a bit as he was attempting to shove his finger into Professor Dumbledore's face. "The crumbly old bastard what stole my only son coming in MY home and making demands?"

"Shut your drunken mouth you vile fool!" Professor Dumbledore had spun around and faced the man so quickly it caused Tobias to jump back and raise his arm in front of his face to prevent a strike from landing. Severus' eyebrows shot up. He had never seen his father so terrified. It was a pleasing feeling and it made him feel powerful. "You do not deserve the right to refer to that boy as your son. Is that understood?" Tobias nodded dumbly. "You will find a seat and sit there like the nasty little dog you are and you will not bother Severus as he packs his things. Is that understood?"

"Yes, s-s-sir." Tobias stuttered.

"Very well." Professor Dumbledore turned to address Severus who was staring at the man he had thought so very terrifying his entire life, who now appeared sad and pathetic. "Severus, go on and pack your things. Use your wand to shrink them down and put them in this bag." He pulled a small red velvet bag from his pocket and handed it to him. "If you want to take your mothers belongings, you may."

"Now wait just a minute!" Tobias cried out as she started to stand. Professor Dumbledore turned around looming over the now quivering drunk. "N-n-never mind, he can have anything he wants."

"Yes, I thought you would agree." Professor Dumbledore peered over his spectacles at Tobias before turning back to the boy. "Go on, Severus, make quick work of it."

"Yes, sir." Severus nodded before turning and sprinting from the room. He made his way to his bedroom first. He didn't have much to pack, some of his muggle clothing, a few books, and his blanket. Next he went into his parents' room. Seeing her few belongings atop the small table set his eyes to burning. He fought the urge and quickly took everything she had in there. There were a few pieces of jewelry and the photo albums. Pulling open the bottom drawer of her dresser he knocked away the false bottom and took her Hogwarts robe, her wand, and her school pictures. Finally he ran back down the stairs, all the way to the basement where an old trunk sat. Using his wand he blasted the lock free and lifted the heavy lid. Inside were all of her books from the Wizarding world. He took all of them. Standing for a moment he tried to think if there was anything else he wanted of hers. Then he remembered. With a sad smile he made his way back to the room where Professor Dumbledore and Tobias were.

"Did you get everything?" Professor Dumbledore asked.

"There's just one more thing." Severus walked over to the small cupboard where his mother kept the cleaning supplies. Reaching all the way into the back he pulled out his mother's broom. "Okay. I have everything."

"Good riddance!" Tobias shouted. The headmaster did not address the man again. Instead he gently led Severus out of the house via the front door. It was time to go to the church.

He didn't want to be there. He couldn't fathom that the person he loved most in the world was lying lifeless in that shiny silver box covered with all colors of flowers. He wiped his eyes.

There were no other mourners, which hurt him deeper. Eileen was a kind and gentle woman. He couldn't fathom why more people didn't show to pay their respects. He didn't know his mother subscribed to any sort of religion, but she was being buried in the graveyard of a church. Severus didn't understand, and he honestly didn't care to.

Some rotund, bald man was droning on his words blurred to nonsense in Severus' head as he kept his eyes on his mother's coffin. When the man stopped speaking Severus looked up at Professor Dumbledore.

"Sir?" His lip was quivering, hot salty tears were splashed across his face.

"Yes, my boy?" He replied softly.

"Can we leave? I can't bear to see her put in the ground, sir." Severus' tears fell a bit harder at his declaration.

"Of course." Professor Dumbledore nodded. "Come…"

"One minute, please…"Severus turned and walked towards the coffin where he ran his hand along the cold metal. Leaning his face close to the box he whispered: "Good-bye, Mummy." He placed a kiss to that cold box before turning and making his way back to the headmaster.

"Let us go home." Professor Dumbledore put his arm about his shoulder and led him from the graveyard.

* * *

It wasn't a week later when he head news that his father had passed away. He fell down a flight of stairs, drunk, in a brothel.

He was glad.

But now, he truly was an orphan.

As he packed up his school things to head back to the Slytherin rooms he wondered what the future held for him. He knew one thing for sure, he had to grow up and be a good man. He promised his mother.


	11. I'll Write Every Day

"Are there any other…children like you here?" Lily's eyebrows pinched together as they walked together. He had met her outside of the Gryffindor room, the Fat Lady had been giving him the evil for fifteen minutes before Lily finally came out to meet him. They were on their way to meet Sybil for their last breakfast before summer holiday.

"I don't think so." Severus shrugged a shoulder. "Professor Dumbledore didn't really say anything about it."

"Oh, well…I'll owl him later and ask if he can maybe bring you to my house for the day or something. When I get back from the states that is." Lily smiled, she was proud of herself for thinking about that option.

"Okay." Severus nodded.

"I'll write every day, though! That's a promise!" Lily reached out and touched his shoulder.

"I'll write too!" Sybil spurted the words out loudly before covering her mouth with her fingertips. "Sorry," She hunched her shoulders up and smiled shyly, "I get loud when I'm excited."

"I'll add that to the growing list of things we're learning about Sybil." Severus laughed. Sure he hadn't been too keen on her that first day in the train, but she was growing on him. He actually found himself to quite enjoy her company now, she made him laugh.

"Oh, you!" Sybil waved her hand at him.

"Anyway," Lily continued as she hopped down the last few stairs. "What are your plans?"

"I guess I'll do some reading, other than that I really don't know." Severus shrugged. The noise from the Great Hall was louder than usual. Excitement was buzzing in the air. Within the hour they would all be heading down to board the Hogwarts Express.

"Try to do something fun." Lily's large green eyes turned sympathetic.

"I will." Severus replied as they entered the Great Hall.

"I'll see you both after breakfast, okay?" Lily asked.

"Alright." Severus replied as he watched her smile before she turned and made her way to the Gryffindor table. Sybil didn't say anything, she merely tucked her chin to her chest and shuffled away, leaving him standing alone for a brief moment before making his way to the Slytherin table.

No sooner had he sat down than Lucius Malfoy took a seat next to him.

"Severus, right?" The blonde boy smiled. It made Severus feel uncomfortable, but he shrugged it off.

"Yeah." He nodded.

"My family was grieved to hear the news about your mother, our condolences." Lucius reached out and took a firm grip of Severus' shoulder.

"Uhhh….thanks." He wasn't sure how to reply as he shifted his gaze from the hand on his shoulder back to Lucius' face.

"My father, being the great man he is, has extended a line of credit to the headmaster concerning your school needs. Oh, you know robes, books and such." Lucius dropped his hand. "From what I understand the Princes are cousins of his. Father said he feels responsible for you."

"Oh, thanks but I don't know that I can accept." Severus furrowed his brow.

"Nonsense! The Malfoys are purebloods as are the Princes, it isn't as if it's charity!" Lucius laughed haughtily. "It is rather adorable I suppose that you would try to refuse father."

"I'm grateful." Severus squinted as the words left his mouth.

"As I knew you would be!" Lucius threw his hands in the air. "Now, expect an owl in July, father has a summer gala every year. It would be wonderful if you could attend. It's never too early to make connections."

"Of course." Severus replied. He was learning how to play the game.

"Wonderful!" Lucius gave a small nod before rising from the seat. As he walked back to where he had been seated originally he turned back to him. "Not to be a bother, Severus, but have you thought about what I said concerning your Gryffindor?"

"Uhh…yeah, of course." Severus nodded as he leaned forward wrapping his arm about his plate and focusing his attention on the food before him.

"You would be wise to take me advice." Lucius looked down his nose at him, hard, for a few moments before he spun on his heel and walked away.

Severus sighed.

Being normal and being in Slytherin was exhausting when he had to be two different people.

* * *

He said his farewells to Lily and Sybil at the main entrance as the students began to make their way to the train. Severus stood there until the last student vanished from sight, leaving him totally alone.

His footsteps echoed loudly in the empty castle as he walked to his private rooms. He thought Professor Dumbledore would have spoken with him before now about what he was expected to do with himself during the holiday. Severus sighed as he opened his door and walked into his room.

At least it felt more comfortable now, almost like a real home. His books filled the shelves Dumbledore had transfigured. The desk was fully stocked with parchment, ink and quills. He has placed his mother's pictures atop the mantel above the fireplace.

Severus sat down on the slightly overstuffed emerald green sofa and looked around.

He was bored already. He threw himself onto the sofa, tossing his legs up and over the back and hanging his head upside down. Severus' long black hair skimmed the floor, and his eyes began to throb from the rush of blood to his head as he inspected how odd everything looked from that angle.

He moved again, this time lying on the sofa on his stomach and turning his head sideways. He wished he had a window in there and not just in his bedroom.

Severus made small popping noises with his mouth as he tapped his fingertips together.

Finally he heaved himself up from the sofa and stretched. Allowing his arms to fall back to his sides, his shoulders hunched.

"I guess I can look at Mum's books now that I have time." Severus said to himself aloud. He walked over and perused the spines of the books. There were dozens and dozens of books. Some were thick others thin. He skipped over the book Sybil had given him for his birthday, he still had no desire to read it. Finally, his fingertip touched a dark brown spine and he pulled it from the shelf to read the title.

_An Intermediate Fundamental Introduction to Understanding Dark Magic_

The title piqued his interest, so he carried it back to the sofa and opened it to page one.


	12. Something to Think About

****Two updates in one night! I couldn't help myself I had to keep going! I hope everyone is enjoying the story so far! Thank you for your reviews, I read them all and appreciate every single one of them! I'm sorry I can't always reply, I read a lot of them on my phone and my phone doesn't always let me do what my computer will! Anyway, we still have aways to go! This is a SS/HG pairing, I promise it's just going to take some time to get there, remember right now it's 1972 so HG hasn't been born yet! :) Thank again!****

It was a week into the summer holiday, and much to Severus' disappointment Lily was yet to write him. Sybil on the other hand, had kept her promise and wrote every day. He was grateful for the letters, but woe to read about how her mother had ruined dinner one night, she thought a tree had come to life and pulled her hair another day and her next door neighbors son had begun to refer to her as 'dribble Sybil' after she spilled a drink down the front of her shirt mid-sip.

Dragging his feet he walked the grounds. He had already read three books from his mother's crate. He didn't fully understand them, however they were interesting. But after a week with his eyes glued to the pages of the books he felt he had to get out or his brain may implode.

Severus collapsed down onto a patch of grass and cast his eyes out onto the lake. At least it was peaceful. He watched birds flying through the sky, the giant squid seemed to either be playing or hunting as he watched the tentacles come up and break the surface a few times.

"There you are, my boy!" Professor Dumbledore called out. Severus turned and looked over his shoulder at the headmaster who was wearing an odd shade of sea foam green. "I went to your rooms and found them empty."

"I needed some air." Severus replied as he turned back to watch nature.

"Ah, yes. Fresh air is excellent, especially for a growing boy." Professor Dumbledore mused happily.

"Did you need me for something, sir?" Severus asked as he brushed his hair from his eyes.

"I did," The headmaster nodded as he too turned his eyes to look out onto the lake. "Tell me, have you given any thought to your future?"

"Not really." Severus shrugged.

"I was thinking, now that you are a ward of Hogwarts and shall be spending your holidays here that perhaps you could apprentice one of the professors and learn their skills. It may come in handy after you sit your N.E.W.T.S. you would be eligible for mastery. I daresay you would be the youngest in history if you chose to do so." Professor Dumbledore turned and looked down at Severus' face, smiling at him as his blue eyes twinkled over his spectacles.

"That would be neat." Severus gave him a half-smile.

"Very well. Now, all that we need to do is narrow down your interests!" Professor Dumbledore lifted the hem of his robe and sat down on the grass beside the boy.

"I like a few subjects." Severus furrowed his brow as he thought over his likes and dislikes.

"Professor Slughorn believes you would make an apt Potions Master." Professor Dumbledore reached into his pocket and pulled out a box of Bertie and Botts every flavor jelly beans and popped one into his mouth. He mmm'd while Severus picked at his thumbnail.

"I like potions just fine, sir." Severus nodded. "I had been thinking though, after school I would work for the Ministry of Magic."

"Oh?" Professor Dumbledore seemed surprised. "What would you like to do there?"

"I was thinking maybe an auror or a curse breaker…maybe an unspeakable." Severus shrugged. "I want to help people."

"Ah, then you would do well to Master in two abilities then." Professor Dumbledore nodded slowly. "I would recommend, should that be your true desire to accept Professor Slughorn's offer to apprentice under him in Potions, as well as apprentice under Professor Herman in Defense Against the Dark Arts."

"I haven't taken Defense Against the Dark Arts yet. I can't take it until third year." Severus shook his head confused.

"Ah, yes that may be true but you are special. You are exceedingly bright. You also have my permission, and as you are my charge that is all you need." Professor Dumbledore chuckled.

"Really?"

"Yes," Professor Dumbledore nodded. "So, do you need some time to consider…"

"No, I'll do it!" Severus replied eagerly a huge smile plastered across his face.

"Very well, I shall speak to both Professor Dumbledore and Professor Herman and get everything set in motion. Severus, I do ask one thing of you though." The headmaster stopped chuckling.

"What?" Severus asked his heart racing a bit.

"I ask you speak of this to no one. It isn't that you are doing anything wrong, my boy. It's more to do with giving you opportunities that your classmates are not being given." Professor Dumbledore explained. "Do you understand?"

"Yes, of course. You don't want to make my classmates jealous." He shrugged.

"Yes, something like that." Professor Dumbledore nodded.

* * *

Two days later Professor Dumbledore called him to his office where he found the headmaster speaking with Professor Slughorn and Professor Herman. The atmosphere was a bit intimidating.

"Severus, be a good lad and come sit!" Professor Slughorn called out with an open arm pointing at him. Severus swallowed his nerves and obeyed. "I was thrilled to hear you have accepted my offer!"

"I will admit I was surprised you have an interest in Defense Against the Dark Arts." Professor Herman raised an eyebrow. He was a terribly ugly man, but his voice wasn't as intimidating as his face, which brought some comfort to the boy.

"I-I-uhh…I just want to help people." Severus stammered a bit as he looked to the headmaster who was watching the conversation with great interest.

"Very well." Professor Herman nodded and took a seat.

"You shall meet with Professor Herman in the mornings and Professor Slughorn in the afternoons." Professor Dumbledore explained. "They have each brought some reading materials for you, and your apprenticeships shall begin in one week."

"Thank you." Severus said timidly.

"Oh, don't thank us quite yet, son. You may find this is a greater challenge than you had believed it to be." Professor Slughorn laughed.

"Did you explain to the boy how crucial it is that he speaks of his apprenticeships to no one?" Professor Herman narrowed his gray eyes as he addressed the headmaster.

"Yes, Herman, I did." Professor Dumbledore nodded.

"Very good. If that is all I have some prior commitments I am rather late to." Professor Herman stood up and gave a slight bow to the headmaster who dismissed him with a nod.

"Wait up old chap, I'll walk with you!" Professor Slughorn followed behind his colleague. The door closed with a loud thud.

"Your reading material is on the table, just there." Professor Dumbledore pointed across the room to a small mountain of books. Severus' eyes went wide as soon as he saw what he was expected to read in a week. "I suppose you would like to get straight to it then?"

"I guess I better." Severus replied as he pulled his wand out and began to shrink the books to fit in his pocket. When he was finished he turned back and looked at the headmaster who was playing with a candle snuffer. "Thank you, sir."

"It's nothing my boy." He replied not pulling his eyes from the shiny brass object in his hands. Severus turned and began to make his way to the door before Professor Dumbledore stopped him. "Severus?"

"Yes, sir?" Severus turned to look back at him again, his hand frozen upon the doorknob.

"To answer your question, Professor Herman's first name is Herman as well." Professor Dumbledore smiled.

"Herman Herman?" Severus smirked.

"Indeed," The headmaster nodded and stroked his beard. "Just refrain from laughing at him, he hates it."

"Alright." Severus laughed as he left the headmasters office and made his way back to his rooms to start preparing for his future.


	13. It Starts

"Sit down, Snape." Professor Herman commanded, his back facing the room. Severus slid into the closest seat. The professor was lumbering over something, but Severus couldn't see what it was. Finally, with a laugh that sent chills down the boys' spine, Professor Herman turned and steeled his gaze on him. "Tell me, are you one to cry easily?"

"No, I don't believe so, sir." Severus shook his head, his hand clenched around his wand.

"Good." Professor Herman inhaled long and deep. "I will start this apprenticeship with offering my condolences to you."

"Thank you, sir." He squirmed in his seat. He didn't want reminded that his mother was gone.

"Now it's down to business. I shall be brutally honest with you Severus, because to do otherwise would be a great disservice to you. Now, you are not a handsome boy, nor are you wealthy. You are not a pureblood and you hold no titles. Am I correct?" Professor Herman clasped his hands behind his back, his ugly face looking down at the boy waiting for his response.

"I-I suppose, sir." Severus dropped his gaze.

"Now, to your dunderheaded classmates all of those things I named seem to hold a power. It's all a load of bollocks Snape!" Professor Herman bellowed causing Severus to startle. "The REAL key to being in a position where no one can hurt you is…" He paused. When Severus didn't offer a response Professor Herman huffed and finished his thought. "Dammit Snape! They keys are as follows: command respect, observe observe observe, and above all know yourself. I can teach you everything you need and more but you must adhere to my teaching and not question me. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir." Severus swallowed hard and nodded. "Sir?"

"What is it?" Professor Herman and turned back to what he had been doing before Severus walked in.

"What about trust?"

"Trust?" Professor Herman spun around. "You must learn to trust yourself. One can never fully trust another, because everyone will always put their own good and self-preservation above you. Does that make sense?"

"Yes, sir." Severus replied as he played the words over and over in his mind.

"That's all for today. Think over what we discussed. If you show tomorrow then I will know you are on board. If not then I will inform Dumbledore that you shall only have one apprenticeship." Professor Herman waved his hand to dismiss Severus.

He didn't waste any time in getting up to head back to his rooms.

Professor Herman's words were still echoing in his mind when he went into his rooms, finding two owls waiting there for him. Severus smiled widely and went to fetch the post, feeding each owl a treat. Hurriedly he ran to his sofa and sat to read them. He knew Sybil's handwriting, the other was Lily's'. He sat Sybil's down beside him and opened the one from Lily.

_Dear Severus,_

_Sorry I haven't written, I've been so busy I honestly forgot what day it was and how long I had been home. Mum and Dad were sorry to hear about your parents, and they send their love. _

_We are preparing to go to the States soon. Petunia is being absolutely terrible about it, but that's her general disposition. Oh! She brought over this boy she met at a local record shop! He's equally as terrible as she is, rather grumpy. I can't recall his name at the moment, Vincent or something. I do hope those two don't end up getting married, they'd make horrid little offspring!_

_Anyway, how is everything back at Hogwarts?_

_Your Friend,_

_Lily_

Severus read over her letter four more times, silently wishing she had written more. Sighing he sat the letter down and reached for the other letter and opened it.

_Dear Severus,_

_How are you today? I do hope you're in better spirits than you were when you last wrote. I'm a bit worried about you. I asked my Dad if you could come to our house for my birthday! He said it was fine and he would send the headmaster an owl to ask! I hope you're allowed to come!_

_I saw Lily at Diagon Alley yesterday. I know she saw me, but she didn't respond when I called her name and waved. She was walking with a group of kids our age but I couldn't see who they were. I wonder why she didn't wave back?_

_I saw a bird today walking on the ground. He had two legs, but only one foot. He made me think of those muggle pirate stories, so I named him Captain Pete._

_Do you need anything? I would be more than happy to send along what provisions you need. After all, we are friends!_

_Write soon!_

_Love,_

_Your Friend,_

_Sybil _

He finished reading Sybil's letter with a chuckle. Severus went to his desk to write back to both of them before he had to meet with Professor Slughorn.

_Dear Lily,_

_Please pass along my thanks to your Mum and Dad. _

_I know you will have loads of fun in the states. Take pictures if you can, I would love to see them when you come back to school!_

_Petunia may find it difficult to birth an offspring considering she has that massive stick stuck in her rear. It could take a baby's eye out!_

_Everything is fine here, just catching up on my reading._

_Your Friend, _

_Severus_

_Dear Sybil,_

_I would be happy to attend your party if the headmaster allows it. Thank you for inviting me. _

_Lily hasn't mentioned a trip to Diagon Alley to me, but perhaps she really didn't see you. I don't think she would ignore you intentionally._

_Thank you for your offer to send me things. Right now, there is nothing I can think of that I am in need of._

_Tell Captain Pete I said Hello._

_Your Friend,_

_Severus_

He sealed the letters quickly and sent them off with the owls who were waiting near his bedroom window before making his way to Professor Slughorn's office.

"Severus!" Professor Slughorn exclaimed happily. "Come in! Come in!"

He obeyed and walked in, looking about at the strange brick-a-brak covering the shelves in the room.

"I was very pleased when Professor Dumbledore said you had accepted my apprenticeship! I do not offer it, usually, but for a first year you showed great promise!"

"Thank you, sir." Severus replied.

"Oh now, no false modesty here my boy! You performed better than most of my fourth years! Tell me, how were you able to do so well without any prior training or education in the field?" Professor Slughorn was looking at him intently.

"It seemed like mostly, common sense, sir." Severus replied meekly.

"Common sense!" Professor Slughorn chuckled heartily. "Well, if that doesn't prove my earlier observations nothing will! Severus, you're going to start your apprenticeship by brewing a very difficult potion. Should you succeed the first time, I will move your summer holiday training up to that of a seventh year. Every summer after that you shall learn the really difficult things. Are you ready?"

"Yes, sir. What potion will I be brewing?" Severus asked hesitantly.

"You will be brewing Draught of Peace, my boy!" Professor Slughorn clapped his hands together and rubbed the palms together vigorously. "But not today. You will start brewing tomorrow. I suggest you go to the library and read up on the potion before attempting to brew it as it's quite challenging."

"Yes, sir." Severus stood up slowly.

"Very well then, off to the library like a good little lad." Professor Slughorn ushered him out of the door.

Severus made his way to the library.

For a first day with two apprenticeships it had all happened rather quickly and easily for that matter. His thoughts drifted to the task before him, tomorrow would be a different beast entirely. He knew that potion was difficult to brew.


	14. A Bit of Fun

****Sorry I haven't updated I was sick for several days with a very high fever and whatnot, BUT I am better now! So, back to a chapter a day if I can manage! No worries, this will not be a forgotten WIP, I am too eager to get the the HG part of the SSHG! I hope you enjoy this chapter!****

"I will meet you back here once the party is over." Professor Dumbledore smiled down at Severus who was fidgeting with the collar of his pressed shirt. He felt like he was being strangled very slowly by an abnormally large infant. It was a slow and tedious strangle, not enough to hurt it was just rather annoying.

"Yes, sir." Severus frowned slightly.

"Before you forget." Professor Dumbledore handed Severus the brightly wrapped gift he had been holding before they apparated. It was an odd floral paper with a massive pink bow tied about it. He wasn't even sure what was in it. Professor McGonagall had bought the gift for him to give to Sybil. He liked Professor McGonagall, even if she was the head of Gryffindor. He took the box from the old man's hand. "Remember your manners, Severus."

"Yes, sir." Severus nodded, unmoving. He heard the headmaster chuckle as he placed his hand on Severus' back and urged him to walk towards the house. He shot a look over his shoulder just in time to see Professor Dumbledore disappear. Severus sighed and turned his attention back to the house.

It was odd to look at Sybils' house, it seemed so strangely ordinary compared to the girl who lived within. It was a brick house with blue shutters and a dark roof. There was an iron fence that surrounded the small front yard. Even the flowers planted in the small yard were ordinary. Severus walked a bit faster up onto the walkway, making his way to the blue front door. Raising his hand he knocked twice before he fidgeted with his brown necktie once more.

He had not wanted to wear this, but he also didn't want to hurt Professor McGonagall's feelings, she had gone out of the way to buy him a proper outfit. Severus dropped his eyes to look over his clothing once more. He was wearing a shirt that could maybe be described as off white, short sleeved and button up. His brown tie matched his brown pants that contained an orange, darker brown and black plaid design. To top it off he wasn't entirely sure his shoes were made for boys, they were heeled brown boots that came just to his ankle. The door opened and Severus quickly made an attempt to smooth his hair out of his face.

"Hello." A tall balding man answered the door. Severus lifted his eyes and looked at the man. He was bald, save for dark hair on the sides of his head. He had long sideburns and a thick mustache and large glasses. He was wearing a long sleeved shirt that had stripes of rainbows running length wise, between each stripe were patterned flowers running length wise. The shirt had a large collar popping up. He was wearing blue jean pants that flared out around his heeled boots.

"Hello, sir." Severus replied. "I'm, umm…here for Sybils' birthday?"

"OH!" The man smiled, his mustache seemed like it was dancing. "You must be Severus, come on in!"

"Thank you, sir." Severus stepped in as the man closed the door.

"Oh no need to 'sir' me, young man. I'm Sybils' Dad, but you can call me Peter!" The man slapped Severus hard on the back as he laughed, jarring Severus small frame as he muttered an uncomfortable laugh. "Everyone is out back, this way."

Severus followed him through though house that was filled with bean bag chairs and macramé. There were posters hung up on walls instead of pictures, but he couldn't stop to read what they said. They walked out into the back yard and Severus saw a group of adults speaking heatedly with one another while the children ran around the back yard barefoot. There were balloons and tables full of food.

"Sybil!" Mr. Trelawney called out. Severus spotted his friend running full force over to them. She was wearing a long paisley dress and she had flowers all through her hair.

"Hello, Severus! Oh, I'm so glad you could come!" Sybil was smiling as she looked from her dad to Severus.

"Go on and have a good time." Her dad turned and walked towards the other adults.

"Uhh…this is for you." Severus thrust the present at Sybil awkwardly. She took the package and turned it over and over in her hands. She looked back at him and pushed her glasses up.

"Thanks! That was my Dad." Sybil pointed over to the adults. It wasn't hard to pick out which woman was her mother she looked just like her daughter, just a bigger version.

"My mum is beside him, her name is Maude." Sybil explained. "I don't know all of the adults, but the guy with the full head of hair is my Uncle William and the ginger lady is his wife she's my Aunt Millie. The lady in braids is my Aunt Kate, her husband isn't here. I don't know who the rest are."

"Okay." Severus replied. They walked over to a table so Sybil could sit the present down and she turned and began pointing towards all of the children, all of which looked younger than he and Sybil.

"Those are all my cousins, except for the girl with the bushy hair she's my neighbor." Sybil pointed to a mean looking little girl who was seated beneath a tree with a book, she was giving hateful looks to the squealing children.

"Oh, she looks pleasant." Severus smirked. Sybil giggled, quickly covering her mouth with her hand. "So…what do your parents do?"

"I'm not really supposed to tell anyone." She explained as she cast a quick glance in the direction of the adults before leaning over to Severus so fast he startled back because her face was nearly touching his. "They work for a secret organization, right now they're rescuing witches and wizards from Northern Ireland and helping the American division of their group rescue witches and wizards from Vietnam. It's pretty dangerous stuff." She whispered.

"Sounds like it." Severus looked at Mr. Trelawney. He may look like a massive dork, but what he did was pretty neat.

"My Mum is a muggle, but Dad is a pureblood. Not many people know that. My great-great grandmother through his side is Cassandra, that's where I get my gift of sight. Have you ever heard of her?" Sybil asked excitedly.

"Yeah, well…I've read about her." Severus shrugged. He had read about her that wasn't a lie, she had been a gifted seer but somewhere along the line was cursed. He had known Sybil for a year now and still wasn't sure if Sybil had the gift or if she just believed she had the gift.

"You look…different." Sybil was looking at his pants. Suddenly Severus could feel his cheeks burning with embarrassment.

"Professor McGonagall bought me these." He explained.

"That was nice of her." Sybil caught a small child who ran into her legs. The blonde boy giggled like mad as she turned him loose. "I invited Lily."

"Oh?" Severus' heart leapt at the idea he would see his best friend.

"I don't know if she's coming though. They're leaving for the States in two days." Sybil continued to explain. "Would you like a drink or something to eat?"

"Not right now." Severus shook his head.

"Can I open my gift?" Sybil asked excitedly. Not knowing what was in the box he was unsure if she could open it, but after a moment he nodded. Sybil turned and grabbed the box and tore it open eagerly. She reached into the white box and pulled out a long necklace. On the necklace hung a polished rose quartz. "Severus!"

"I hope you like it?" He winced.

"Like it? I love it!" Sybil made a high pitched noise as she slid it over her head and examined the pendant. "I knew you believed that I had the gift of sight! I knew it! How did you know that polished quartz is used for seeing?"

"I asked." Severus lied. He made a mental note to thank Professor McGonagall for picking a nice present.

"This is my favorite gift ever!" Sybil threw her arms about him and hugged him. He returned the embrace by patting her gently on the back.

"I'm glad you like it." Severus was pleased he made his friend happy.

"I have to show my dad!" Sybil explained as she grabbed Severus' hand and pulled him along with her. The adults quickly stopped talking as Sybil dropped Severus' hand to plow her way through the adults to her Dad. "Look, look what Severus gave me for my birthday Dad!"

"It's quite nice, Sybil." Her dad inspected the necklace and smiled lovingly at his daughter. He reached up and cupped her cheek. "Are you having a nice day, dear?"

"Oh yes, it's the best. Thank you!" Sybil nodded vigorously, pushing her glasses up higher onto her nose. As quickly as she bounded into the group she bounded away. Severus made to follow but was stopped by Maude.

"Severus?" He turned. The eyes of all the adults felt heavy on him.

"Yes?" For a moment he thought maybe he had done something wrong.

"Thank you for being a good friend to our Sybil." Mr. Trelawney pushed his glass up on his nose in the same manner his daughter did. "She doesn't make friends easily. Ever since she went to Hogwarts all she talks about is you and Lily. I just wanted to tell you thank you."

"You don't have to thank me, sir. Lily and I really like Sybil she's great fun and can make us laugh." Severus explained.

"Just the same, I'm happy she has the two of you." He explained. The other adults nodded. "Sybil is…special."

"We know she is." Severus was getting a bit angry. Yeah she was odd but she wasn't a burden they acted as if friendship with the girl equated sainthood or something. Without waiting for her parents to continue on he turned and made his way back over to where Sybil was standing.

"I think Jane likes you." Sybil giggled.

"Jane?" Severus furrowed his brow.

"My neighbor." She pointed back to the mean looking girl beneath the tree. Her eyes were set on Severus.

"That's frightening." Severus replied flatly sending Sybil into a burst of giggles and snorts.

"What's so funny?" A voice came from behind them. Severus and Sybil spun around and spotted Lily looking at both of them with a large smile plastered to her face. She was wearing a white dress and a white ribbon in her hair. They made the color of her hair stand out and her green eyes to sparkle even more than usual. Severus could feel his heart beat quicken.

"My neighbor likes Severus…like…LIKES him." Sybil explained. Severus huffed.

"Oh, that girl just there?" Lily pointed.

"Yes." Sybil nodded.

"She seems, rather nice?" Lily shrugged a freckle covered shoulder.

"Nice like dragon pox." Severus muttered. Sybil snorted with laughter once more. He stood there with his two best friends and smiled. He was glad he came after all. His mind jumped to the day he was going to have tomorrow, back to his apprenticeships. That could wait though, for the moment he was going to have fun with them.


	15. Second Year

Severus sat on the floor of his room, packing his things to move back into the Slytherin dormitory. He was exhausted from his double apprenticeship. But now that was classes were about to resume his apprenticeships were over until the following summer holiday. He was pleased when Professor Herman told him his skills in DADA were now equal with Fifth years. Professor Slughorn said he was equal to his best students in Seventh year. For only a few months he was very proud of his progress and could hardly imagine what they would have him do for every summer holiday up until his Seventh year.

Sighing, he continued. He had been able to spend a day with Lily and her family. It had been the best day, despite Petunia and her pug faced boyfriend trying to ruin it. They had gone on a picnic by a lake. He and Lily and ran and played the entire day. The spoke at length about their futures. Severus paused as his mind wandered back to the look on her face when she told him she wasn't sure what she wanted to exactly, but she did want to grow up and get married and have children.

Severus wanted to grow up and be normal. He wanted a normal day job, so being an Unspeakable was out of the question. But he could be an Auror still. He confided in Lily he had also hoped to grow up, marry and have children. He wanted a nice normal house though, in the muggle world. Lily had laughed, but she never called his dreams anything terrible. She assured him that he could be anything he wanted.

His day trip to Lucius Malfoys house, or manor rather had been far less fun. He spent the day milling about alone. Narcissa had taken the time to sit and speak with him. Nearer to the end of the 'gala' Lucius found him, and brought him to meet his father, Abraxas. The elder Malfoy appeared unwell in his age, but it didn't seem to damper is attitude. He had looked at Severus as if he was a bug in need of squashing. The look was nothing to the words he had said, that still were knocking about Severus' brain.

_"__Ah, Severus Snape, the orphan pure-blood child I have so generously offered to pay for. Yes, my son Lucius tells me you are quite the young wizard. A wizard who hold promise holds the attention of the Malfoys. Severus, Lucius tells me you are taken by a muggleborn girl in Gryffindor House. She is not yours, truly you know that? I happened across your prophecy not one week ago. You would do well to listen to Lucius."_

With that Abraxas stopped addressing him and Lucius pulled him away to the corner of the room, leaving him there until Professor Slughorn came to fetch him. He had word that Abraxas Malfoy died not a week later from Dragonpox. He had sent a condolence letter to Lucius by owl, but had heard nothing back.

* * *

Severus sat in the Great Hall alone, watching the door. He was waiting for the Hogwarts Express to arrive. The table at the head of the room sat empty. But he knew a steady stream of children would be pouring through the doors any moment. He eagerly awaited the arrival of his friends.

He didn't have to wait long, because no sooner had the thought crossed his mind than the students began to pour in. Finally, the summers long deafening silence was broken by the hoots and howls of the Hogwarts student body. Severus jumped up and made his way through the ocean of bodies in an attempt to find Sybil and Lily.

Sybil spotted him before Lily did, but he could see the blonde girl yanking on Lilys' robe frantically. Finally, both their faces turned in his direction and their eyes lit up. Severus couldn't imagine feeling any happier, that to see their reaction to seeing him. They both threw their arms around him and embraced him.

"It's good to see you!" Lily cried out as she and Sybil pulled away smiling. "You're pretty much all we could talk about the whole way here!"

"Did you have a good finish to your holiday?" Sybil asked. He could see the rose quartz bouncing just under her house robes.

"It wasn't bad." Severus shrugged. He so wanted to tell them about his apprenticeship, but he knew what would happen if he did. They were his best friends and even though he wanted to tell the both of them, he knew that the apprenticeships would lead to a good job offer, maybe before leaving Hogwarts. He had considered maybe asking Lily to marry him during their seventh year, if he had a job offer lined up that is. His heart went spastic at the idea of marrying her.

"You always say things like that, Severus." Lily smiled and shook her head. "What are we going to do with him, Sybil?"

"Throw him in the lake?" Sybil scrunched one side of her mouth shook her head as she looked at them. Lily burst out laughing so hard she appeared to be almost doubled over.

"That isn't what I meant! Oh, Sybil you're so funny!" Lily wiped a tear from her eye.

"We need to get to our tables, they're going to bring the first years in soon." Severus interjected as he began to notice everyone moving to their seats. Lily and Sybil both looked around and saw the same.

"Okay. We'll talk tomorrow morning after breakfast!" Lily had reached out and grabbed both of their forearms. "Deal?"

"Yes." Severus agreed wholeheartedly.

"It's a deal alright, mmm hmm." Sybil nodded, shoving her glasses upward. They all moved off in different directions to sit at their houses table. Just as Severus sat down Professor Dumbledore stood to address them. Second year was off to a great start.

* * *

"Well, we all have a study period together." Lily sighed sadly as she looked over all three of their schedules. "I have muggle studies, history of magic and herbology with Sybil, and…." Her eyes jumped between her schedule and Severus', "You and I have potions together again and care of magical creatures….oh and astronomy. You have divination and defense against the dark arts with Sybil. Everything else you have with Ravenclaws."

"That's actually not so bad." Severus smiled as he took his schedule back.

"I agree. This looks to be a really great year." Lily nodded, folding her parchment and shoving it into her pocket. "What are your thoughts Sybil?"

"I'm happy. I'd be happy as long as I had at least one class with each of you." Sybil sighed.

"Okay, first you and Sybil have defense against the dark arts. I'll walk with you as far as I can. I have divination first." Lily said as they all turned to walk to class. Lily had to separate first as their classes weren't near each other, leaving Severus with Sybil. He swallowed hard.

"Sybil, can I ask you something?" Severus looked at her cautiously. He had been thinking about this for weeks now, he just hoped he wouldn't lose his nerve.

"Okay." Sybil shrugged, her pendant was swinging back and forth as she walked.

"Umm…can you tell me a bit more about what you saw?" Severus furrowed his brow.

"Professor Dumbledore said I shouldn't tell you anymore because one person shouldn't know too much about their own fate." Sybil frowned.

"It's just that, well…"Severus was at a loss for words.

"It isn't that you really shouldn't know too much about your destiny it's that the future changes with every choice you make. You shouldn't know too much that way you aren't too attached to something that can change. Does that make sense?" Sybil stopped just outside their classroom and looked Severus in the eye.

"So what you're saying is…that the girl you told me I would marry…I could end up NOT marrying?" He just needed that clarified.

"Exactly." Sybil nodded.

"Thanks Sybil." Severus beamed. He felt like the weight of the world had been lifted from his shoulders.


	16. The First Wrong

The whole school was awash with excitement when the headmaster told them that they had earned a special treat for their good behavior. No house points lost by any house since the start of term. To reward the students and to celebrate an achievement that no other group of students had accomplished the faculty was throwing them a Halloween ball.

No sooner had Professor Dumbledore uttered the words than Severus made a plan to ask Lily to be his date. Every nerve ending in his body was sparking at the very thought of going to the ball with her. The entire student body had erupted in a great roar at the announcement and he couldn't quite see her through the celebrating students.

Severus wasn't worried though. Every day, after dinner was over him, Lily and Sybil would meet up and talk for a few minutes before they had to separate and head to their dorms. His eagerness for the meal to be over was only outdone by his excitement to ask her. For a brief moment he felt bad for Sybil, he couldn't ask both of them to be his date. Severus frowned to himself. He couldn't ask her, but he would make sure she knew she could tag along with them. Sybil may not be girlfriend material but she was his other best friend, he didn't want to see her hurt or upset.

Just when he thought he would burst from excitement dinner was finally over and he bolted up from his seat and took off for the spot where they always met up. Shifting his weight from foot to foot he craned his neck to look for Lily. Sybil found him before she did.

"What's taking her so long?" Severus pondered aloud, to himself.

"She was talking to a group of Gryffindors." Sybil replied not realizing he hadn't actually been asking her. Finally he spotted her walking towards them, pulling her bag higher up onto her shoulder.

"Hi." She was smiling.

"Lily?" Severus reached out and quickly took her hand and pulled her away from the large double doors of the Great Hall. Sybil didn't follow right away, she was busy watching the last of the student body as they filtered out the Great Hall.

"What is it, Severus? Are you okay?" Lily's smile faded quickly as she worry and concern replaced it. Severus waved his hand to dismiss her worries.

"No, nothing! I'm fine." He shook his head. "I was wondering it maybe, you would be my date to the Halloween ball?"

"Oh," Lily looked genuinely surprised. "I would, but…" His heart shattered at that word: _but_.

"But?" He repeated his mouth having gone dry.

"I already accepted an invitation." Lily bit her lip as her brow knit together.

"Oh, yeah, I mean, yeah…" Severus shrugged as he tried to make it look like it was no big deal.

"James asked me." Lily's shoulders hunched a bit as she blurted the words out.

"James! James Potter? That jerk who broke my nose?" Severus' jaw went slack.

"He's really not that bad. I know he has his moments, Severus, but really he's changed a lot since last year." Lily defended him.

"I thought you were my friend Lily? Not just that, you were supposed to be my BEST friend!" Severus crossed his arms. He felt betrayed.

"Since when does that mean I can't talk to other boys Severus Snape? You're not my boyfriend!" Lily was becoming equally upset.

"I didn't say you couldn't talk to other boys! I'm mad because you're going to the ball on the arm of my worst enemy!" Severus could feel tears stinging at the backs of his eyes.

"He's not your enemy! You made him your enemy in your own head! If you just talked to him you'd see! Aren't people allowed to make mistakes?" Lily pursed her lips.

"I don't care what you do." Severus replied.

"Good! I'm going to the ball with James and you can either accept it and be my friend about it and just TRUST me or you can just not talk to me." Lily spun around.

"Fine!" Severus ran his hand through his hair as he watched her stomp away. Sybil made her way over to him, her chin tucked to her chest as if she feared he would yell at her. "I'm not mad at you Sybil." His voice went back to normal.

"I'm sorry about what happened if that's good for anything." She kept her eyes focused on the floor.

"She's right. I'm not her boyfriend I can't tell her she can't go with him." Severus sighed, dropping his weight down onto the stone floor.

"I agree, but that was a bit wrong of her. She does know the two of you have some history." Sybil sighed and sat down beside him.

"There's nothing I can do about it now." Severus drew his knees to his chest and dropped his forehead down.

"No, I suppose there isn't." Sybil mused. "I'll go with you. No one asked me."

"Thanks Sybil, but I don't know if I would be great company if I have to watch the two of them together." Severus' voice was a bit muffled from having his face buried into his knees.

"But it would show her that she can't boss you either. I know you think I'm a bit mad, and that's okay, but I think she should see you having fun without her. Maybe you'll make her jealous. I know you're in love with her Severus. I don't fancy you that way, but I'll help you try to win Lily's heart." Sybil reached over and moved some locks of his hair from the side of his face. Severus turned slightly so one of his eyes could see her.

"You'd do that for me?" Severus narrowed his eye.

"Sure, we're best friends." Sybil pressed her mouth into a firm line and nodded.

"We are best friends, Sybil." Severus lifted his head and shook his hair back away from his face. "Thank you, I would be honored to be your date."

"Great!" Sybil clapped her hands excitedly. "We should get to our dorms."

"Yeah, okay." They stood up and went their separate ways. The whole way to the Slytherin dorms he thought over what had just occurred. He wasn't sure what was going on with Lily but he had to win her over.

James may have her fooled, but Severus knew he hadn't changed over the summer holiday. He was still getting shoved in the hallway, James and his buddies would still talk about him while they pointed and laughed. Sure they hadn't touched him physically but Severus didn't trust them.


	17. Secrets and Fate

"Severus?" Severus looked up from his parchment and saw Lucius Malfoy walking across the room towards him. The hour was getting late and most of the students had filtered out of the Slytherin common room and had headed to their rooms for the night. There was only one other person studying besides Severus.

"Hi, Lucius. I'm sorry about your Dad." Severus sat his quill down in order to give Lucius his full attention.

"Thank you, it was quite a shock as you could imagine." Lucius pulled the chair out across from Severus and sat down. "With his passing it has left me as the head of the family. I was quite aware the responsibility would land on my shoulders at some point. However, I confess, I was not quite ready to bear the burden just yet. My mother has seen fit to arrange my marriage. As soon as I sit N.E.W.T.s at the end of the year I shall be married."

"Oh, wow." Severus' eyebrows shot up.

"Please do refrain from making that face, Severus." Lucius smiled. "I am to wed Narcissa so the news is not entirely bad."

"Congratulations." Severus wasn't sure what to say.

"Thank you," Lucius gave a curt nod. "That isn't the reason I sought you out tonight. I have it on good authority you will be attending the Halloween ball with that strange Ravenclaw girl. Is this true?"

"Yes, I'm going with Sybil." Severus nodded.

"I must admit I was relieved to hear that. May I assume you have finally decided to listen to my advice concerning that ginger Gryffindor?" Lucius inspected a cuticle.

"I don't want to talk about her." Severus felt the anger rise within him once more.

"I see." Lucius raised his chin a bit and looked down his nose at the boy.

"May I ask you something?" Severus furrowed his brow.

"Yes, of course." He rolled his wrist causing his hand to flourish.

"How did your Dad see my prophecy? What does that mean?" Severus had been wondering about that for months.

"Oh, it's rather simple really. My father worked for the Ministry of Magic. There is a special room there, well it's called the Hall of Prophecy and in the room are literally thousands of glass orbs containing prophecies. It's on level nine in the department of mysteries." Lucius explained.

"I know a bit about that, but I thought only the person who the prophecy belongs to can touch them?" Severus was confused.

"That part is true. BUT, one can look at them. You only see a snippet of the prophecy, enough to label it but you can't touch it. My father went and sought the seer who saw yours. He asked after you of course. He was a considerate wizard." Lucius dropped his hand.

"I'm no one special, why did he waste his time with me?" Severus picked at the corner of his parchment.

"No one special you say?" Lucius chuckled. "Severus, you are special. My father would not have taken a special interest in you if you had not been something more than average! I shouldn't tell you this, but we are friends are we not?"

"Yeah, we're friends." Severus shrugged. He wouldn't have readily used that term prior to this conversation to describe their interactions, but he really wanted more information.

"You see, my father has…had…a powerful friend who was interested in knowing more about you. My father set out to fulfill that interest. Needless to say he did not disappoint. You are expected to achieve great things, Severus Snape. I know you will not let us down." Lucius stood up in one graceful movement. He started to turn to walk away but stopped and turned back to the table. "I hope you know by my telling you that the Gryffindor girl is not good for you I was not trying to upset you, anyone with two eyes can see you are in love with the girl. I merely wanted to prevent the inevitable heartache she will bring to you should you stay the course and pursue her further. Her fate is sealed and cannot be changed."

"I thought the future wasn't set in stone? That every choice you make can alter your destiny?" Severus felt his heart race.

"Some choices can alter destiny, Severus, but some fates are set and cannot be changed no matter the choices. I'm sorry, truly I am." Lucius did look like he was sorry. He turned slowly and walked away leaving Severus to his thoughts.

* * *

"Professor?" Severus' voice was timid as he poked his head into the Headmasters office.

"Come in, Severus! Don't be shy!" Professor Dumbledore's voice called out. Severus obeyed and walked in finding the old man seated by a roaring fire enjoying a cup of tea. "Please, have a seat my boy! Would you care for some tea?"

"No, thank you, sir." Severus shook his head.

"Something terribly important must have brought you to my office after curfew." Professor Dumbledore sipped his tea.

"Yes, sir. I have a question about prophecies and destiny." Severus nodded as he scooted to the edge of the chair enthusiastically.

"Ah! Yes, I was waiting for you to come to me concerning this." Professor Dumbledore smiled, a strange twinkle in his eye. Severus grew concerned. "You would like to know if your destiny can be changed?"

"Yes, sir. Sybil said that choices we make can alter our destiny. Lucius said that some destiny's cannot be changed. I'm not sure who to believe." He shrugged.

"You wonder if I know your future?" Professor Dumbledore gently sat his cup upon its saucer.

"Yes, sir." Severus nodded.

"It just so happens I do know your future. Some areas concerning it are a bit gray, but I know the larger part of it." Professor Dumbledore tented his fingers as he nodded.

"Could you tell me?" Severus practically begged.

"No, my boy. A man shouldn't know too much about their own future." Professor Dumbledore shook his head slowly.

"Could you tell me anything, please? It's like everyone knows something I do not and I can't stand that, Professor! Please I beg of you tell me something!" Severus had joined his hands together as if he were praying.

"Severus, not many yet know but two years ago a war started. It's quiet right now, as it has been for the past two years, but I fear it will come to such an apex that not one soul in our world will be able to ignore it." Professor Dumbledore explained.

"A war? I haven't heard anything!" Severus' jaw went slack.

"That's because right now it's being fought in back alleys and one on one. Not many have lost their lives, but the spies are moving back and forth. I cannot tell you when the real brunt of the fighting will begin, but it will begin nonetheless." Professor Dumbledore sighed.

"What does this have to do with my destiny?" Severus asked. His heart was racing. His first thought was that he was going to be killed in the war, or worse Lily would be killed.

"The man leading the battle on…for lack of a better expression…the wrong side has expressed an interest with you. That interest is the reason you have been given the opportunity to apprentice with Professor Slughorn and Professor Herman. I wanted you well prepared for your future." Professor Dumbledore picked his cup back up.

"But I don't have to join him? Right? I'm not evil, sir!" Severus panicked.

"I know you're not evil, son." The headmaster attempted to console him. "Your choice is yet to be made. I merely wanted you to be prepared the best you could be."

"Oh." Severus dropped his eyes to the floor.

"You cannot speak a word of what we discussed to anyone! Do you understand? You wouldn't want to be responsible for starting a panic, would you?" Professor Dumbledore peered over his spectacles at the boy.

"No sir, I wouldn't. I understand. I won't speak of it to anyone." Severus sighed. He couldn't talk about anything to anyone. He was starting to feel isolated from the other students, so many secrets to carry around.

"That's a good lad. Now, off to bed it's very late!" Professor Dumbledore turned his attention back to the dancing flames.


	18. Frustration and Confusion

Severus hadn't spoken to Lily in a week. Every time he saw her he could feel the anger inside him boil, but at the same time he felt terrible. He wanted to apologize to her, but then he's see James Potters smug face and any thoughts he fostered concerning apologies dissolved.

The night of the ball was already upon them, and Severus found himself making his way to the Hufflepuff dormitory. Professor McGonagall had brought him dress robes, and he was grateful that they were black and not that hideous shade of brown he had been forced to wear to Sybils' birthday party.

Hufflepuffs were slowly leaving their dorms, walking past him as if he wasn't there. Severus shuffled his foot. He wasn't sure he wanted to attend any more. Suddenly he felt a harsh poke in his shoulder and he looked quickly to see who was accosting him.

His eyes landed on Sybil and his jaw fell open. She was wearing powder pink dress robes that had black ribbon accent. A string of pearls hung from her neck, and her hair had been tamed. It was smooth and shiny. The only thing that gave her identity away were her glasses.

"Merlins beard Sybil, you look really nice!" Severus adjusted his robes.

"Thank you!" Her shoulders hunched for a moment before she apparently remembered to stand straight. "So do you."

"Shall we go?" Severus smirked as he offered her his arm which she took with a heavy blush forming on her cheeks. The pushed through the ocean of bodies into the Great Hall. It was decorated true to Halloween fashion. Jack o' lanterns floated everywhere among the candles, the ghosts were smiling and greeting everyone. There was even a live band where the head table usually sat.

"Wow, everyone looks so different without their school robes on." Sybil commented as she looked around.

"Meh." Severus shrugged. He wasn't terribly impressed.

"Sybil!" Lily's voice was calling out. They both turned and there she was, wearing emerald green dress robes. Severus could feel his heart beating in his throat. She looked beautiful. Severus was so fixed on Lily, he hadn't noticed James walking beside her. "You look beautiful, Sybil!"

"Oh, not really!" Sybil blushed. She was modest. "You look beautiful!"

"Thank you! Are you having a good time?" Lily asked. She wouldn't even look Severus' way.

"Yes, Severus and I are having a good time. Right Severus?" Sybil nudged him with her elbow.

"Huh?" Severus turned and made eye contact with Lily. "Oh, yes, we're having a good time. Are you and…James enjoying the ball?"

"Very much, thank you." Lily replied curtly. It may not have been the friendlies of responses but at least she was speaking to him now. "Well, have a nice night. Come on, James."

Sybil and Severus watched as the pair moved out onto the dance floor and started a slow dance. Severus felt defeated.

"So much for making her jealous." Severus sighed.

"She may be jealous, we can't see what she's thinking." Sybil was trying to look at the silver lining.

"Thanks for trying, Sybil. I don't mean to be a rotten date but I don't feel much like being around anyone right now." Severus hung his head.

"It's okay, I understand." Sybil patted his forearm. "I'll go find some of the Hufflepuff girls and spend the evening with them."

Severus smiled at her before leaving her to go find her housemates. He wandered a bit and finally found himself seated in the courtyard. It was rather cold, so he pulled his robes around him tightly. He stomped over to a secluded spot, encased with shadows where he could easily sit unbothered.

He sat there for a long time. He thought of his mother, of his apprenticeship, of what Lucius and Professor Dumbledore said. Finally he thought of Lily. Whenever he thought of his future, she was always in it. He had planned his entire life around growing up and marrying her. He didn't want to think about what his future looked like without her, and he especially didn't like the little taste of the idea he had gotten when he saw her slow dancing in the arms of a boy who hated him for no reason.

He sniffed. The cold air causing his nose to run.

"Hey there, Snivellus!" Severus spun around and saw Sirius Black looking down at him cockily. Behind him was Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin, James' friends. Severus sighed.

"Just leave me alone." Severus crossed his arms.

"Aww now, how could we just walk away and leave a fellow classmate sitting in the courtyard crying? What the matter Snivellus, you got a broken little heart?" Sirius laughed.

"Yeah, broken heart." Peter repeated Sirius as a jab.

"I said leave me alone!" Severus hunched down further where he sat.

"I heard you, I'm not deaf!" Sirius jumped over the small stone wall that was separating them from Severus. "You're just upset because Evans went to the ball with James."

"Siruis maybe we should leave him be." Remus had reached out and tried to take his friend by the arm.

"No one's stopping you from leaving." Sirius shrugged before turning his attention back to Severus. "James fancies Evans and I'm here to tell you you better leave them be, do you understand me?"

"Lily was my friend first!" Severus stood up angrily. Sirius moved quickly and stood nose to nose with Severus.

"Now she knows she can do better!" Sirius smiled as he gave Severus' shoulders a shove.

"James is scum, just like you!" Severus shoved Sirius back.

"You're scum, you nasty piece of Slytherin dung!" Sirius pulled his wand.

"Lily will see the truth on her own." Severus replied pulling his wand.

"Lily is seeing the truth right now!" Sirius pointed. Severus turned and through a window he could see James lean down and steal a kiss from the love of his life. Rage filled Severus and he spun to face Sirius. Before he could mutter a hex a sharp voice cut the night.

"What are you all doing out here?" Professor McGonagall was charging at them. "Put those wands away right now!"

"Professor he started it!" Sirius pointed Severus.

"Five points from Gryffindor and I want the three of you to go straight to the common room right this instant!" Severus smirked as he watched the three boys hang their heads and made their way into the castle. His smirk faded as she turned to Severus. "Severus, I'm disappointed."

"They started it, Professor! I didn't do anything, I swear!" Severus stomped his foot.

"Five points from Slytherin and the headmaster wants to see you immediately." Professor McGonagall's mouth pinched into a tight circle.

Severus sighed and nodded before he made his way back into the castle.


	19. Blame Enough for One

"Severus, I am very disappointed in you." Professor Dumbledore sighed as he shook his head. "The faculty chose to reward the students for being the first group of students in the history of Hogwarts to go so long without the reduction of house points, and how do you choose to repay their generosity? I can tell you, by fighting with a group of Gryffindor boys and loosing house points, the whole lot of you!"

"But sir, I didn't start it!" Severus defended himself. Professor Dumbledore held a hand up to stop him from saying anymore.

"Severus, there is nothing you can say in defense of this. I overlooked the trouble between you and those boys last year, but I shall not continue to turn a blind eye." The headmaster furrowed his brow in anger.

"Fine! Where is Black, Lupin, Pettigrew and Potter? If they left me alone there wouldn't be an issue!" Severus crossed his arms.

"Their head of house will see to their punishment." Professor Dumbledore leaned against his desk.

"Where's Professor Slughorn then?" Severus knew he should close his mouth but his temper was getting the better of him.

"You may be in Slytherin house, but you are _my _personal responsibility, Severus." The headmaster sighed, his face turning kinder. "I promised your mother, Severus. I wish you would help the situation instead of making it worse."

"I've never done anything to them, they just single me out." He threw is hands up.

"You are aware of the long standing feud between Gryffindor and Slytherin are you not?" The headmaster peered over his spectacles at the boy.

"Of course." Severus shrugged.

"I believe it is your friendship with Ms. Evans that is causing them to behave in the manner they are. I promise you I shall speak to them. This cannot go on any longer. Do I have your word you will do your very best to refrain from fighting with them?" Professor Dumbledore suddenly looked very tired.

"Yes." Severus reluctantly agreed.

"Very well, you may go." Professor Dumbledore pointed to the door. "Back to your dorm not the ball, Severus."

* * *

Severus stomped his way through the halls still seething with rage. He couldn't believe that he, the victim in all of this was being treated as if he were the aggressor. Passing students he kept his eyes focused on the cold stone floor, refraining from making eye contact with everyone.

Turning a corner he heard crying, and Sybil attempting to comfort someone. His interest piqued he followed the sound until he came across a crying Lily and a distraught Sybil.

"What happened?" Severus asked as he looked from the hunched over Lily to Sybil. Sybil was patting Lily on the back, her face heavy with worry.

"Sev-Severus?" Lily looked up. Her green eyes were puffy and red from crying. He watched as she used the back of her hand to wipe her cheeks.

"Lily, what's going on?" He rushed to kneel before her, taking her hand in his and patting it gently.

"James, he…he stole a kiss and I got cross with him." Lily sniffed. "Then he said the only reason he asked me was to get a jab in at you."

"That prat!" Severus exclaimed.

"He's not worth it." Sybil was shaking her head.

"I'll get him, Lily! I'll make sure he wishes he had never hurt you!" Severus began frantically searching his person for his wand.

"No." Lily reached out and placed her hand on his shoulder, causing Severus to stop what he was doing and look up into her eyes once more. "Please, I don't want you to get in trouble. He's a jerk, you were right. I shouldn't have trusted him."

"I'm so sorry, Lily. I wish I hadn't been right." Severus pulled his eyes away from her.

"No, I'm sorry." Lily shook her head, sniffing again. "I don't understand why he hates you so much."

"He doesn't need a reason, he just wants to be a bully." Sybil interjected.

"Sybil's right. A bully will always find a victim." He nodded. "Don't think about him anymore."

"Are you terribly cross with me for how I acted?" Lily's voice became tiny.

"No. We're best friends." Severus smiled.

"That's right, we're all best friends. Best friends forgive." Sybil reached over and put her free hand on Severus' arm.

"Best friends forgive." Lily nodded with a small smile. "So you both forgive me?"

"There's nothing to forgive." Severus reassured her.

"Exactly. We're like the three musketeers, it's us against the world!" Sybil was smiling wildly, causing both Severus and Lily to chuckle.

"I'm so glad I have you two. What would I ever do without you?" Lily stood up, Severus and Sybil taking a place on either side of her.

"Let's not find out, shall we?" Severus joked.

* * *

Severus found himself alone in the boys lavatory. He was bent over a sink when he heard a noise behind him. Turning quickly he saw James Potter leaning against the wall, his arms crossed, wearing a smug look.

"Hey there, Snivellus." James flashed him a cocky smile.

"Leave me alone, Potter." Severus turned his attention back to washing his hands.

"I would, but see, your little escapade last night got me and my mates in a heap of trouble. I can't let that stand, now can I?" James sauntered over to Severus who could feel the muscles tightening across his shoulders.

"Let it be, we all got in trouble." Severus sneered.

"Look, I'll make you a deal, ok?" James leaned against the sink next to him and Severus looked over at him.

"What's that?" He was hesitant to ask.

"Leave Evans alone and I'll leave you alone. Look, I know you were friends before Hogwarts but that was then and this is now. Had you been sorted into any other house but Slytherin this whole conversation wouldn't be necessary. BUT, you are a Slytherin. She's a Gryffindor. She can't be seen with you and you can't be seen with her." James explained.

"You can't make us not be friends, Potter." Severus replied through clenched teeth.

"Look, Snape, I don't make the rules! This is just how it is." James shrugged.

"You don't make the rules, you just enforce them?" Severus huffed. "You're not even talking about REAL rules, just made up stupidity."

"The unspoken rules are just as valid as the other rules." James shifted his weight, running his hand through his mop of hair. "If you follow the rules, we'll leave you alone. All of us."

"And if I don't?" Severus challenged him.

"Then we'll make your life miserable." James shrugged.

"Did you give Lily the same ultimatum?" Severus knew he was pushing James' buttons but he didn't care.

"No, and I won't. You won't tell her either, you understand?" James dropped his arms and squared his shoulders. "I have to get back to class. You have until dinner to think about what I said. If I see you talking to her tomorrow, you won't get another chance."

"Thank you so much your grace." Severus rolled his eyes.

"I'm serious." James narrowed his eyes.

"I thought you were James." Severus narrowed his eyes.

"Just think about what I said." James repeated himself before leaving.


	20. Suspicion

Severus sat alone in the library. He had done his very best to stay away from James and his goons. Sure he couldn't avoid them in class, he was still getting his books knocked from his hands, his quills were being snapped and every so often he could feel his hair being pulled from his scalp one strand at a time. But he refused to fight back.

The library was his only true safe place outside of the Slytherin dormitory. His private rooms were off limits to him until the start of the Christmas holiday. He turned a page in his book, not really reading the words just merely looking at them as his mind wandered.

Time seemed to be going faster and faster, everyone was leaving for holiday the following day. Well, everyone but him. He sighed, turning the page again.

He heard a few hushed voices from the next section. He lifted his head from his hand and tried to focus on what they were saying.

"I heard he knows more dark spells than the defense against the dark arts professor." One mousy female voice squeaked.

"I heard his mother was one of the darkest witches who ever lived and trained him to be just like her before he even came to Hogwarts!" Another female voice interjected enthusiastically. Severus frowned and furrowed his brow wondering who they were speaking about. Surely, Professor Dumbledore wouldn't allow such a student to study at Hogwarts.

"Well, someone should really tell _her. _He shouldn't even be allowed here, I mean, he was even sorted into Slytherin. How much more proof does the Headmaster need?" The mousy girl seemed to be getting irate.

"That nasty freak!" The other girl was outraged. Severus frowned again. He wanted to walk over there and ask them who they were speaking bout.

"My father will certainly write to the Headmaster concerning this…this…Snape. He'll see to it he's tossed out on his bottom!" The mousy girl proclaimed proudly. Severus suddenly felt the urge to vomit. They were talking about him.

"All Professor Dumbledore need do is just speak to James and Sirius, after all they were the ones who saw all of the dark arts books in his bag." The voices began growing faint as they were walking away from him. He clenched his fists. They hadn't seen anything in his bag! All of his books for his apprenticeship were safely tucked away in his private room! James couldn't attack him physically so he was attacking his reputation.

He wanted to run to the headmasters' office, but he knew there was no point. No one was interested in helping him. Backing up to the wall he slid down to the floor, dropping his head to his knees he wrapped his arms about his head.

Severus wanted to go home.

He wanted his mother.

* * *

Walking through the corridors, making his way to the Slytherin dorm he kept his head lowered, allowing his hair to fall over his face to hide himself away from the students. Their stares and hushed voices weighed down upon him like bricks. Every point, every snicker was another brick.

Severus exhaled slowly, silently wishing he could be a shadow and pass by them without their notice. He cursed his life under his breathe, his very existence setting his blood to boil. Whatever he had done in a previous life to deserve the rotten hand he was dealt in this one must have been bloody terrible. He heaved his bag higher onto his shoulder, still pushing forward. He just had to get to the dorm.

Someone plowed into his shoulder causing a sharp jolt of pain radiating into his chest. Looking up he locked eyes with a Ravenclaw boy who was looking at him in disgust. Before he could tear his eyes away from the boy he felt his bag being ripped from his shoulder. Severus spun around and saw his bad being torn to shreds, his books being picked apart by a group of students made up of different houses.

"There aren't any dark magic books in here!" One pudgy faced Gryffindor girl cried out in disappointment as she threw down his potions text book. The pages bending and tearing as it hit the stone floor.

"He probably hid them knowing that the whole school found out his secret!" A tall boy shouted. The Ravenclaw boy who had run into him suddenly reached out and gave a hard shove causing him to go sprawling out onto the floor atop his shredded bag and bent textbooks.

"What on earth?" Professor McGonagall's voice cut through the rabble like a hot knife through butter. The students grew instantly silent. "All of you to your dorms, this instant!"

They all scattered as fast as their legs could carry them, leaving Severus to pick his things up.

"Severus, what happened?" Professor McGonagall lifted the hem of her robes and bent down to help him pick up his belongings.

"It doesn't matter." Severus replied, fighting back tears.

"Of course it matters!" Professor McGonagall reached out and lifted his chin with her index finger so she could see his eyes.

"They all think I'm evil because…because…Potter told them I study the dark arts." Severus sniffed, he couldn't stop the emotions and he began to sob.

"Oh, dear!" Professor McGonagall tutted as she pulled the boy into an embrace.

"I'm not evil." Severus cried into her shoulder. Professor McGonagall rubbed his back in gentle circles. "I-I-I want my mother, Professor."

"Everything will be alright, Severus. Don't cry, everything will be alright." Professor McGonagall continued to comfort the sobbing Severus.

* * *

Severus sat alone on Christmas. This year he didn't receive anything. He hadn't seen anyone since the students left, save for the house elf who brought his food to him.

He considered leaving the wizarding world, but he knew he didn't stand a chance at a muggle orphanage.

* * *

"Happy Birthday, Severus!" Sybil was cheerful, just as she always was. She thrust a gift at him, wrapped in blue paper. He smiled.

"Thanks, Sybil." He tore the paper from it and saw it was another copy of A Winters Tale. He laughed internally. He hadn't read the copy she gave him last year.

"Do you like it?" Sybil rose her shoulders and clasped her hands together in anticipation of his answer.

"Yes, I liked it last year too." Severus chuckled.

"Last year?" Sybil shook her head and knit her brow in confusion.

"Yeah, you gave me a copy of this last year too." Severus held up the brown leather bound copy.

"I did not. I think I would remember if I gave that to you last year." Sybil pressed her mouth into a firm line.

"Okay, maybe I'm wrong." Severus shrugged. He didn't want to upset her.

For some reason Lily was avoiding him again. He didn't know why. Silently he wished for the days they had before Hogwarts, before there were all these distractions to their friendship. Friendship should be easy. He didn't understand why she seemed to listen to everyone else, expect for him.

He had noticed he wasn't the only one she was ignoring. She also hadn't spoken to Sybil in nearly three weeks. Ever since they started their second year she had acted oddly, it had just grown worse since the Christmas holiday.

Severus knew he could wake up tomorrow and Lily could talk his ear off, or she could ignore him for another day. He didn't want to care, but he couldn't help it. No matter what she did, he still loved her.


	21. A Long Talk

They were given Thursday off from class. It was the first truly beautiful day of spring. The sun was bright and warm. There were clouds, but they were huge and fluffy. Severus was sitting near a huge tree close to the water's edge. Sybil had promised to have Lily meet him there. His nerves were attempting to get the best of him, but he knew he had to talk to her now or run the risk of losing her forever.

He heard footsteps coming toward him. Severus put his hand against the tough bark of the tree to steady himself as he peered around. Smiling, he saw Lily walking towards him. Her hair was being whipped about by the warm breeze and she laughed as she made eye contact with him, her hand darting up to stop the strands from getting into her mouth.

"Hi," Lily smiled as she adjusted her muggle shirt with a rainbow on it before she sat down next to him.

"Thanks for coming. I was a bit worried you wouldn't." Severus shrugged.

"That's just silly! Why wouldn't I come talk to you?" Lily furrowed her brow and looked at him like she had no idea about what he was referencing.

"Lily…" He dropped his eyes to his shoes and began kicking up the dirt a bit.

"What is it?" Lily leaned forward a bit to get a better look at his face.

"You've been acting odd." Severus allowed the words to spill from his mouth as fast as he could form them.

"I have not! That's absurd!" Lily laughed as she shook her head.

"So you ignored Sybil and I for like two months on purpose then?" His eyebrows shot up.

"Oh please! You're exaggerating! It has NOT been two months, more like two days." Lily shook her head.

"No, I'm not exaggerating. You can ask Sybil, it's been two months." Severus couldn't believe she hadn't been phased by going so long without talking to the two people she boasted were her best friends.

"Well, I didn't mean it." Her shoulders dropped. "I've just been busy with homework and preparing for OWLS."

"You ignoring me hasn't had anything to do with the lies James Potter is spreading about me and dark magic then?" Severus rose one eyebrow. Suddenly she pulled her gaze away from him and her cheeks grew pink.

"I don't know what you're talking about." She began plucking grass up one blade at a time.

"Really? Then why do you look like the cat who ate the canary?" Severus was stunned she would sit there right in front of him and actually lie to his face.

"Okay, so I heard _something _about it." Lily shrugged. "But I know you so I know it's all lies."

"Really, Lily?" Severus' voice grew a bit louder. "So, you've been defending me then have you?'

"I don't have to defend you! Anyone with a brain in their head knows you aren't some dark wizard!" Lily laughed.

Severus forced himself to keep quiet for a moment. He had to. He lifted his eyes and scanned the scenery. Birds flying, bugs buzzing, the wind blowing over the rolling hills. Severus closed his eyes and inhaled deeply allowing the fresh air to wash over him and hopefully calm him down, at least a little.

"Lily, they're making my life a living hell here." Severus finally confessed.

"You're being a bit dramatic, Severus." Lily shook her head, smoothing some strands and tucking them behind her ear.

"Walk a mile in my shoes and then tell me that." Severus mumbled. "I'm trying, Lily, I really am. But they're always doing something to me. They're constantly threatening me. They want us to stop being friends."

"They don't care WHO I'm friends with, Severus. It seems like YOU are the one who has an issue with who my friends are." Lily pressed her mouth into a small circle.

"WHAT!?" Severus cried out in disbelief. "Were you not the one James left crying at the Halloween ball, or was that some other Lily?"

"Okay, yes, he did that. I'm not taking up for him. I'm just telling you he hasn't said one word to me about you. But YOU are always talking about him!" Her hands were flying about, he could tell she was getting angry at the turn of their conversation.

"Lily, please listen to me!" Severus begged.

"Severus, you need to get over this okay? I was sorted into Gryffindor. I can't help I wasn't sorted with you, and I know that's what you're angry about." Lily sighed.

"No, that isn't why I'm angry. I'm angry because one day we're best friends and the next you don't know I exist. I'm angry because I'm having lies spread around the school about me which is leading my stuff to be destroyed not to mention I keep getting hurt! I'm angry because you're defending him instead of standing up for me! I'm angry because I keep putting up with everything because I'm scared of chasing you away. I'm angry because I know that all of this is going to end up making me a person I don't want to be!" Severus stood up. "I'm not going to sit back and take this abuse for another five years here!"

"Severus, sit down!" Lily commanded. "You need to calm down." Lily's eyes darted around making sure no one had heard his outburst.

"I had to tell you. That's all." His anger was gone, and he was a bit ashamed of himself.

"You won't turn into someone you don't want to be unless YOU choose to turn. Do you understand me? I'm your friend, I will always be your friend. Okay? "Severus lifted his eyes and locked onto hers, then she said the words he had prayed he would never hear her utter. "You're like my brother, Severus."

"Yeah." His heart felt like it had dropped into his shoe.

"Anyway," Lily changed the subject with ease. "Sybil is still talking about your tea leaves. Has she told you?"

"Those stupid tea leaves." Severus grumbled. "No, I told her I didn't want to hear any more of that nonsense. I don't believe that she can see my future in some wet leaf flakes."

"She is pretty convinced, Severus." Lily shrugged.

"I don't care how convinced she is. She's my friend and all but I don't think she's right." He didn't want to hurt Sybils' feelings but he really didn't want to hear about some girl who hadn't been born.

"She's pretty convincing, Severus. I would hear her out. She knows a lot of details, the weird part is though after she told me she couldn't remember anything she said." Lily chewed her lip. "I don't know what that means."

"I don't want to hear her out, besides Professor Dumbledore said a man shouldn't know too much about their future." Severus crossed his arms over his knees as he drew them to his chest.

"Sybil said you met the girls' mother." Lily giggled.

"Oh, gods." Severus slammed the palm of his hand into his face. "Don't tell me anymore."

"Okay, I promise." Lily laughed.

He was glad he had the chance to speak with her and clear the air.


	22. A Lesson Attempted

****I hope this chapter clears up the confusion concerning second years discussing OWLs. This is part of the plot, albeit a minor one, but it will be brought up in much more detail when they begin third year. Thanks for reading and I hope you continue to enjoy the story!****

"Severus?" Sybil reached out from the cranny she was hiding in and grabbed hold his robe, pulling him in with her.

"Sybil? What on earth are you doing?" Severus looked around to see if anyone had seen her grab hold of him.

"I need to talk to you. It's important!" Sybil was looking around nervously, grasping her rose quartz with both hands so tightly her knuckles were turning white.

"Is it so important we can miss class?" He was a bit upset, knowing that if they were caught he'd have to answer to Professor Dumbledore. That was a bridge better left uncrossed.

"Class…oh, I forgot about class." Sybil pressed her mouth into a line, her eyes darting about as she mulled over the idea.

"For god's sake Sybil, out with it so we can get to class!" Severus whispered harshly.

"I know why Lily is acting so oddly." Sybil allowed the words to run from her mouth like water from a spring. "She confided in me, but I knew I had to tell you."

"Alright, you have my attention." He dipped further back into the shadows, pulling her along with him.

"Some other students have been giving her a hard time because she's muggleborn. I couldn't figure out why she was studying for OWLs when we aren't taking them anytime soon. She said she has to because she has to make up for the eleven years she spent in the muggle world. AND the reason she's been so close to James and his friends is because they've taken to defending her when the name calling starts." Sybil spoke so quickly Severus had a hard time understanding her.

"I haven't heard anyone say anything to her about being muggleborn." Severus furrowed his brow as he searched his memory for a single moment where he had heard something.

"She's going to ask you to help her study when we come back to start third year." Sybil pushed her glasses up.

"Why is this a big secret?" Severus stepped from the shadows and peered up and down the hall. He returned just as quickly upon seeing they were still alone.

"Because James told her not to." Sybil replied. "She defended you, though!"

"Aren't I fortunate?" Severus sighed, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Don't do it." Sybil shook her head.

"What do you mean, don't do it?" He couldn't hide his surprise.

"I mean don't help her. Severus, I can't explain it but she's not the same Lily she was at the start of our first year. She's changed. The longer we're hear the more change I see, and I don't like it. She's taken to only speaking with me as long as no other Gryffindor's are around. I see how she acts around you. One day she speaks to you and then she can go weeks ignoring you. That isn't how friends are supposed to act." Sybil hunched her shoulders and tucked her chin to her chest.

"Did you see this in your tea leaves, Sybil?" Severus couldn't help the condescending tone in his voice.

"No!" Sybil replied defensively. "I do have eyes, Severus. I also have a mind. I can see that two plus two is four even if you can't. You're blind to it because you are in love with her!"

"I am not!" Severus whispered harshly.

"Please, come on! Who do you think you're talking to?" Sybil straightened her back. Severus was shocked that she had suddenly grown a back bone and was standing up to him.

"I'm tired of everyone thinking it's their place to tell me who I can and can't be friends with! First it's Lucius and James and now you?" His anger was building.

"I'm not telling you anything but the truth! She's going to use you up and when you no longer serve a purpose to her she's going to leave you behind!" Sybil reached out and poked his shoulder with her finger. "Mark my words, Severus Snape, you'll hate yourself in the long run for not listening."

"Save your predictions for Divination, Sybil. I'm not interested in your warnings." Severus moved in a flourish back out into the hall.

"Stop being so bloody blindingly faithful Severus!" She called out after him.

Severus didn't turn to respond instead he went to his private rooms. He didn't care if he wasn't supposed to be there until the students went home for holiday. Closing the door, blessed silence fell over him. He just needed a quiet spot to think.

"I can't fault her for wanting to get along with her housemates." Severus spoke aloud to himself hoping by hearing himself it would help his mind wrap around everything. "I am in Slytherin which is her house's rival. She needs Potter and his stupid friends for protection." Sighing he plopped down onto his sofa. "Lily, why didn't you tell me you were being called names?"

He ran his palms over his face and rubbed his eyes. A knock on his door pulled him from his thoughts. Slowly he stood up and opened his door. Professor Dumbledore walked in wearing a very displeased look.

"Why are you not in class, Severus?" The headmaster sat down without waiting for the boy to extend him an invitation.

"Sybil." Severus replied as he closed the door and made his way back over to the sofa to sit.

"Explain, if you would. I'm not quite understanding the connection between Miss Trelawney and your absence from class." Professor Dumbledore stroked his beard.

"She told me that Lily was studying for her OWLs now because she's being called terrible names. She wants to prove she belongs here." Severus explained.

"She's a witch, of course she belongs here. Her lineage plays no role in that." Professor Dumbledore shook his head.

"I know, sir. But Sybil said Lily is going to ask me to help her study, but Potter and his friends told her to stay away from me. Sybil seems to think that when I'm not useful to Lily anymore she'll leave me behind." Severus clasped his hands together. Saying the words aloud made his heart ache. "I got angry, sir, and I think I may have hurt Sybils feelings."

"Ah, yes. The tongue can be sharper than the sword can it not? Everyone says something at one point or another that we regret." Professor Dumbledore's eyes glazed over as if he was thinking of something else before blinking quickly and returning his attention to Severus.

"I don't know what to do. I don't want to lose either of them as my friends, it isn't like I have many to spare." Severus pushed some hair from his face.

"I cannot tell you what to do, the choice is yours." Professor Dumbledore's eyes turned kind. "Severus, you are a bright lad with a kind heart. You have seen more ugliness in this world in your short thirteen years than most have in fifty. I urge you to search your heart and in doing so you shall find the answer you are seeking."

"I just want to be normal, Professor." Severus sighed.

"Why be normal when it being exceptional is so much more fun?" Professor Dumbledore smiled widely.

"I wouldn't say I'm exceptional." Severus shook his head, embarrassed.

"Ah, but you are nonetheless!" The headmaster stood up. "You may not see it now, but one day you shall. Even if it's through the eyes of another."

"Another, sir?" Severus looked up at the old man in confusion.

"Sometimes our eyes can be opened by someone we least expect." Professor Dumbledore explained. "Have you finished your exams, Severus?"

"Yes sir, well…all but Herbology." He shrugged. "It's my last class of the day."

"You may stay here until then. If you would prefer to move back in here tonight instead of tomorrow I leave it to you." The headmaster moved to the door and placed his hand upon the latch, pausing.

"Thank you, Professor Dumbledore." Severus felt a bit better after their talk.

"It was nothing. Perhaps after the students go on holiday you and I will speak about taking a little holiday ourselves? Hogwarts may be extensive but it does become a bit cramped if one spends too much time in it. How does that sound?" He opened the door.

"It sounds swell, Professor." Severus chuckled under his breath. That's what he needed, a little time away from Hogwarts that was longer than just a few hours.

"Very good. I will see you then." Professor Dumbledore disappeared through the door, closing it behind him.


	23. Uncomfortable

"Bloody hell boy, close your mind!" Professor Herman cried out as he struck Severus atop the head with his wand. Severus flinched and rubbed his scalp.

"I'm trying, you don't have to hit me." Severus grumbled as he cast the horrid Professor a nasty side glance.

"Do you think that when the time comes to face your enemy they will be gentle with you?" Professor Herman's voice boomed in anger. "Tell me, do you believe they will ask your permission to probe your mind? Hmmm?"

"No, sir." Severus replied as he hung his head.

"No, sir." Professor Herman mocked him. "You are right in that respect. They shall attack your mind with such a fierceness that should you be ill prepared they will see everything you have ever seen or thought. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir." Severus replied.

"You cannot hope to find work with the Ministry if you cannot discipline your mind boy!" Professor Herman exhaled long and hard as he surveyed his apprentice.

Severus sat silently. He was more than exhausted, finding it hard to force his heavy eyelids open. They had been at this occlumency lesson for hours. Professor Herman sat his wand down upon his wooden table and stretched his back before turning back to speak to Severus.

"It's been a long day. You should go and rest, we will continue tomorrow. I advise that you practice closing your mind. Severus you have an enormous amount of potential but you must harness your desire to be the best at the job you eventually would like to have. I believe you are failing to see the advantage you have been given over your peers. They will be applying for the very same work as you. Your skills will help you obtain what you want. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir." Severus nodded slowly. His thoughts were drenched in a heavy fog of sleepiness.

"Severus," Professor Herman sighed as he pulled a stool over to him so he could sit before the boy. "I am well aware that you are young. Thirteen is not often an age when one begins down this road. I know someone who would very much like to meet you, but you are not quite ready yet."

"Someone wants to meet me?" Severus furrowed his brow in confusion.

"Indeed, they are quite anxious to meet you, and you shall when you are ready." Professor Herman gave a nod. "Go on to your rooms and rest now."

"Thank you, Professor." Severus stumbled up from the chair he had been seated in and made his way to the door. He was beyond grateful when he walked through his rooms and landed face first onto his bed. Normally it was slightly lumpy but in this moment the bed felt like heaven.

Severus awoke some hours later, groggy and a bit confused. He couldn't remember how he had made it back to his rooms. Yawning he walked back to his sitting room and found a house elf had left his dinner and his mail. He smiled as he hurried to his letters. Much to his surprise he had word from both Sybil and Lily and strangely enough Lucius.

Of course he tore into Lily's letter first.

_Dear Severus,_

_How are you? Things are a bit boring here and it made me wish you still lived close by. Petunia has taken to locking herself in her bedroom which is driving Mum and Dad mad because she's listening to depressing music on a loop. I guess her and her boyfriend broke up. Who knows? Anyway, I don't think we're taking a holiday anywhere this summer. Dad got a promotion and said he has to find his footing before taking any time away. Mum was a bit disappointed about it._

_Are you terribly bored at Hogwarts? I can't imagine what you do from day to day and it dawned on me I never asked! What do you do to pass the time? Professor McGonagall wrote my parents about me. I was scared when the owl came. She said I was doing well, but she worried over my choice of friends. I'm not sure who she's referring to. I don't have many friends, just you and Sybil really. Everyone else is more of an acquaintance. Dad told me I need to be careful because you are the company you keep. Whatever that means._

_I have to go, Mum is calling me. Write back when you get a moment!_

_Your friend,_

_Lily_

Severus read the letter twice before moving onto the next. Picking at his dinner as he fumbled with the envelopes.

_Dear Severus,_

_Oh boy, I wish I were at Hogwarts with you! Mum and Dad left, I can't say where or what they're doing, you remember. They left me with my great-aunt who is like four hundred years old. Aunt May is making me learn cook and sew. Did I mention she's a muggle? She doesn't know I'm a witch so I can't read anything having to do with magic and I can't talk about it either. Dad said I should be very careful because if I slip up and say something I may find myself at a convent abroad until they return._

_This is terrible._

_I wrote this letter in secret and had to sneak away from the house in order to send it. Do you think you could ask Professor Dumbledore if I could come there until my parents return? Lily said she would ask her parents if I could stay with them. I asked my Dad he said if Professor Dumbledore or Lily's parents gave their permission I could leave! _

_I would ask you to write back, but I fear an owl pecking on a window will send Aunt May over the edge, instead if the Headmaster agrees ask if he could just show up? Please?_

_Thank you Severus!_

_Your friend,_

_Sybil_

Severus grimaced at Sybil's letter. That was a bit of tough luck there, being stuck with a muggle great aunt. He could only imagine what she was going through. She was his second best friend, but he'd be lying if he wasn't enjoying his time away from her just a bit. Sybil was riding his last nerve before term ended. He would ask Professor Dumbledore anyway, just because he knew what it was like to be stuck in a house with someone who hated magic.

Finally, he tore into Lucius' letter.

_Severus,_

_I detest the term 'stag party' however I find it is the only suitable term to describe this event. The Headmaster has given permission for you to come to Malfoy Manor on the 5__th__ of August to attend said 'stag party'. My mother assured him there would be no nonsense of any sort during this event, which is the reason he has given his permission for your attendance._

_I feel as though despite your age being thirteen you are mature enough to attend with my friends who have come of age. Do not disappoint me._

_Lucius Malfoy_

Fear coursed through him. He was going to attend a stag party. His mind raced recalling his father coming home drunk one night after attending a stag party. His mother had tried to hush him so Severus couldn't hear the sordid details of the event.

His mind went back.

He could smell his father before he could see him. A heavy fog of whiskey and cigar smoke seemed to precede him before entering the house. His father stumbling up the stairs, singing his drinking songs loudly and slurring the words until the song made no sense. Most of all he recalled his mother standing at the kitchen sink the next morning, crying silent tears as she scrubbed the lipstick stains from his father's shirt collar.

Eileen's words filled his mind, her voice echoing making his heart sore.

_"__Severus, promise me you will always be a gentleman. When you grow up and are married, treat your wife like a princess. Tell her you love her, help her, be kind to her, hold her when she cries and make her smile when she is cross. Keep your eyes and your heart for her and her alone. Can you promise me that, Tiddles?"_

Severus had been five when she said that. He wasn't sure what she meant, or why she was upset at his father. Most of the muggle children he knew said their father liked the drink. Wasn't it expected of man?

No, he learned that the first time he saw his father strike his mother leaving her with a swollen eye and bloody lip. He was seven the day he learned that lesson.

He sat Lucius' letter down atop the others, pushing his dinner away. Suddenly he wasn't very hungry.


	24. Square Pegs in Round Holes

"I have sent word to young Mister Malfoy politely declining his request for you to attend his party." Professor Dumbledore nodded as he and Severus walked about the grounds.

"Thank you, sir." Severus replied bashfully.

"While I can appreciate the fact that he thought of you, I must say I found it to be in bad taste to invite a boy of your age to such a gathering." Severus watched as the headmaster narrowed his eyes. "Besides, we shall not be here."

"Where will we be?" Severus asked tentatively.

"I told you I would take you on a little holiday and that is a day we shall be away." Professor Dumbledore smiled. "According to Professor Herman and Professor Slughorn you are doing exceptionally well at your apprenticeships. I am very proud of you. As a reward Professor McGonagall and I are taking you somewhere. I cannot tell you where, it would ruin the surprise. Speaking of surprises I have a few more for you."

"Really?" Severus asked excitedly.

"Yes. I have sent owls out and have just received word back only this morning. Both Lily and Sybil's parents have given permission for them to go along with us. Also, I spoke with Sybil's aunt, she will arrive tomorrow in order to spend the rest of her holiday here at Hogwarts. Her parents are doing very important work, I do not see why she should be allowed to wilt where she is." Professor smiled widely. "Although her presence here means you must cut your apprenticeship time early this year. I do hope you are not too disappointed?"

"It's alright, really." Severus nodded. His mind was racing with all the possibilities of where they could be going on holiday.

* * *

"Hello, Severus!" Sybil bounded into his private rooms and threw her arms about him. He swore he would never get used to her being so physical and wanting to hug him after they've been apart for a while.

"Hi, Sybil." Severus replied patting her awkwardly on the back.

"I can't thank you enough for rescuing me from Aunt May!" Sybil was twitching from happiness which caused Severus to chuckle.

"I didn't do anything, not really. All I did was tell Professor Dumbledore what you wrote to me." Severus shrugged.

"Well I appreciate it! You don't know how awful it was there!" Sybil groaned. "She made me wear these awful dresses that were hers when she was my age! But they were from somewhere around 1910 and they pinched and were terribly hot!"

"Wow." Severus' eyebrows shot up before he burt out laughing. "Did you bring any with you? It would be quite the sight to see you walking around school dressed like that!"

"Don't tease, Severus!" Sybil giggled as she shook her head. "I'm just so glad to be away from there. OH! Did you know Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall are taking us on holiday?"

"Yes, he told me yesterday." Severus nodded.

"Do you know where we're going?" She scooted to the edge of her seat and clutched her hands in her lap.

"No, he said it's a surprise. Knowing him it could be ANYWHERE so there's no use in guessing." Severus shrugged.

"So," Sybil stood up and looked about his small sitting room. "This is your private rooms when everyone else leaves?"

"Yes." Severus nodded.

"They're nice. Too bad you couldn't just stay in here during term. If I had a choice I would rather be alone. It's terrible being around all of those girls all the time. They're always trying to fix my hair or convince me to have Madame Pomfrey fix my eyes so I don't have to wear my glasses. The worst part is when they try to transfigure my regular clothes!" Sybil frowned as she described her life in the Ravenclaw dorm. "Does anything like that happen in Slytherin?"

"Not to me." Severus shook his head. "I can't speak for the girls, but everyone pretty much just leaves me alone."

"Well, you're lucky then. I wish they would leave me alone." Sybil huffed as she made her way back to the chair she had been sitting in.

"Where are you staying?" Severus asked as he watched her fidget.

"In the Ravenclaw dorm." Sybil puckered her mouth over to one side as if she were irritated that they put her in there. "It isn't so bad, at least I'm alone."

"There's that." Severus pointed at her with an open palm trying ot make her feel better.

"Yes, there's that." Sybil sighed. "Anyway, it's a nice day let's go outside and play!"

"Play?" Severus cringed a bit.

"We are kids, Severus not little adults!" Sybil laughed as she stood up. "Come on!"

"Fiiiiine." He agreed begrudgingly.

The sun felt good against his skin. It was beautiful outside, he couldn't deny her that. The grass was a vibrant green the sky a shade of blue so crystal clear it appeared to go on forever. Severus closed his eyes and allowed everything to wash over his senses when he suddenly heard Sybil shout.

"Aguamenti!" His eyes snapped open just in time to see an icy blue light and a jet of cold water hit him in the face. "You can't catch me!" She cackled as she took off running. Severus smirked as he took off after her pulling his wand from his side.

They ran shooting jets of cold water at each other, the breeze blowing their water logged strands of hair. Laughing they tried to outsmart one another, hiding behind trees or a wall to get the better of their opponent.

"Give up, Sybil! I'm going to win!" Severus cried out as he tiptoed around a large hedge. "Aquamenti!" Shouting he blasted before he saw she was not there. He heard a twig snap behind him and as he spun around, wand at the ready he was hit in the face with water, Sybil giggling the entire time.

"Truce! Truce!" Sybil held her hands up.

"I didn't know you knew that spell!" Severus chuckled as he put his wand away. They moved out into a clearing and laid down on the grass to allow the sun to dry them off.

"I know, it's a sixth year spell. My parents took me with them once last summer on an aid mission. I had to learn it because water was really hard to come by." Sybil sighed. "How did you know it?"

"I do spend my holidays at school, Sybil." Severus chuckled. "I'm not sitting here on my duff the whole time you guys are at home."

"You? Sit on your duff? I would never assume!" Sybil laughed so hard she snorted.

"Sybil…can I ask you a serious question?" Severus furrowed his brow as he shifted his gaze to the tops of the trees, the branches swaying in the breeze.

"Yes." Sybil's tone turned serious.

"Why are you my friend?"

"Because you're like me. We don't exactly fit with everyone else. I also think you're nice." Sybil didn't hesitate with her response. "I believe we'll always be friends."

"That would be great." Severus smiled.

He actually enjoyed her company and was grateful she was there with him. Severus felt a bit badly about how he had not wanted her to come to Hogwarts, but what she said held true. They didn't fit in, but it wasn't so bad as long as they could not fit in together.


	25. SURPRISE!

****This part was researched. I was not alive in 1973. The song reference in this chapter is one of my favorites by one of my favorite bands. It is misspelled on purpose.****

"Alright, now I want everyone to promise they will stay together and that you will be model students while we are there." Professor McGonagall eyed the three teenagers in front of her. Professor Dumbledore stood behind them looking like he was up to no good. Severus saw her shoot him a warning look for him to be on his best behavior as well.

"We promise!" Severus, Sybil and Lily replied in unison.

"Oh alright, let's get on with it then!" Professor McGonagall waved her hand at the Headmaster who presented them with a torn up teddy bear. It was a pathetic looking thing, sad really. It only had one of its dull black button eyes, a big tear in his belly where the stuffing was pushing outward and one leg that had been mended with a scrap of lace printed yellow tablecloth. The three of them looked up at the adults for an explanation.

"It's portkey. It will get us there faster." Professor McGonagall explained. "Quickly now everyone take hold of the bear."

Without warning they were suddenly all spinning, going higher and higher as the ground disappeared. Severus, Sybil and Lily all exchanged frantic looks. Professor Dumbledore smiled knowingly.

"Let go!" Professor McGonagall cried out. The teens looked unsure. "Let GO!" They did, and each one went flying off in a different direction, landing hard upon the ground.

"Can we not do that again?" Severus coughed, trying to get the wind back in him.

"That was terrible!" Lily cried out as she dusted herself off and smoothed her hair.

"I've never had so much fun!" Sybil was laughing, her limbs still sprawled out on the ground where they had landed. Professor McGonagall and Professor Dumbledore had much more sophisticated landings. They were both chuckling as they eyed them up.

"Traveling by portkey takes some practice." Professor Dumbledore extended his hand to help Severus stand. Sybil bounded back up onto her feet.

"Where are we?" Lily asked as she looked around.

"Do you smell that?" Sybil asked, her head turning from one direction to the next.

"Smell what?" Severus looked confused.

"SALT!" Sybil cried out excitedly as she ran to the nearest hill. "We're at the ocean!" The others followed behind.

"We have made allowances to stay for three days." Professor Dumbledore explained. "We have brought tents and will camp along the beach. I hear the local town has a nice a funfair planned to begin tomorrow."

"Oooooooo a funfair!" Sybil squealed as she clapped her hands together excitedly.

"The girls will be with me and Severus, you shall share a tent with the Headmaster." Professor McGonagall pointed to the old man who was surveying their surroundings.

Lily caught Severus' eyes and made her eyes go wide with her eyebrows raised. It was all he could do not to laugh.

"I believe I see a very nice spot for which to make camp!" Professor Dumbledore nodded in the direction he was looking. They all followed him, Sybil was skipping along happily.

The adults made quick work of setting up their tents. Severus, Lily and Sybil were amazed at how large they were on the inside. They had all come out of the tents to sit and look out at the ocean.

"This is great!" Lily sighed. "The waves and the smell of the salt, there's just something so calming about it all, don't you think?"

"Yeah." Severus shrugged. They both looked to Sybil, waiting for her to chime in. She was lost in her own world, digging in her oversized bag.

"Are you excited for the funfair?" Lily asked, her hair blowing freely in the breeze.

"I guess, I've never been to one." Severus replied honestly. There it was. Lily's eyes were heavy with pity. He hated pity more than anything.

"AH-HA!" Sybil screeched with joy, causing both Severus and Lily to snap their heads in her direction. "I knew I packed it!"

"What is that?" Lily asked as she dug her hands into the sand to push herself up.

"It's a record player, but it doesn't need plugged in!" Sybil was smiling so widely Severus thought for a moment she may break her face.

"Oh, far out!" Lily examined the seafoam green box Sybil was clutching.

"It was REALLY expensive, so we have to be careful, okay?" She sat it on the middle of the blanket, as far away from the sand as she could get it. Sybil moved back and began going through her bag again.

"Severus, look at this!" Lily motioned for him to come over quickly. Sighing he obeyed. He didn't see what the big deal was.

"Got it!" Sybil scrambled back to the blanket and showed them a large white square, before pulling out an LP.

"Awww, Sybil that's OLD music!" Lily looked disappointed.

"What?" Severus looked but didn't know what band it was.

"It is not! It's only a few years old!" Sybil defended her taste in music.

"Severus will you tell her?" Lily crossed her arms as she looked at him. He was very confused.

"Umm…I don't know who it is." He shrugged.

"It's a THEY not a WHO!" Sybil pursed her lips as she focused on getting the record to play. She pressed a button and the first thing Severus heard was a bit of crackling. He noticed she didn't start it at the beginning but placed the needle somewhere closer to the middle. Suddenly a wave of someone hammering on a piano blasted out of the small box, and a man began signing. Sybil squealed and jumped up moving away into the sand.

Lily was laughing as they watched Sybil dance. She was twirling, her hair and skirt flowing around her. Severus looked down at the box.

"What is an ob-blah-dee oh-blah-duh?" He asked Lily.

"I don't know." She shrugged laughing harder. "Severus do you know who sings this?"

"No." He shook his head.

"They're like a REALLY famous British muggle group." Lily explained. Suddenly, Sybil ran over and dragged Lily up to dance with her.

"Dance with us Severus!" Sybil cried out.

"I'm good." Severus laughed at them. He couldn't dance anyway, he never learned. But it was fun watching them.

When the song ended, he watched the girls lean towards one another whispering. He grew suspicious as they walked over to him, side by side. When they reached him, they both extended a hand to him. Reluctantly he reached up and took hold of both Lily and Sybil.

Giggling they pulled him towards the water.

"I have my shoes on!" Severus pleaded.

"Awe, come on!" Lily chuckled.

"Have some fun, we're on holiday!" Sybil cried out as they hit the water's edge. It was colder than he had imagined but the pulled him in until the waves hit their waists.

The girls began splashing him, and Severus held his arms up.

"Alright, I'll get both of you!" Severus shouted, a smile on his face. He waded towards them and in one jump he had a firm hold on both of his friends as he pulled them under the water.

"Severus Snape!" Lily cried as she surfaced. Her hair hung over her face.

"That was great!" Sybil shouted, as she tried to get her hair out of her eyes and mouth.

"I told you!" Severus was laughing as he swung his long black hair in one quick motion over his head and onto his back.

"Children!" Professor McGonagall was calling out to them from in front of the tent. "Come along and dry yourselves! It's time for lunch!"


	26. Not-So-Funfair

They waited until the afternoon heat began to burn away before walking to the town to attend the funfair. Severus was thrilled to be going to one. He had overheard his housemates talking about them and had always wanted to see one himself. Professor McGonagall and the headmaster walked out in front of them, the girls followed behind them their arms interlocked which left Severus to bring up the rear.

It was odd to see the adults in muggle clothes. He had never seen them wearing anything but their robes and it was hard to imagine them as muggles.

As they walked the path over the hill the town came into sight and Severus' eyes went wide. The brightly colored tents dotted the landscape, rides were moving the twinkling lights and brightly colored bunting was strung up all over. He watched as muggle children ran through the funfair and the smells….oh Merlin the smells. His mouth began to water. Severus could also hear the upbeat music of a brass band.

Lily and Sybil both turned and waited for him to catch up.

"What do you think?" Lily asked as they all began walking three wide down the path.

"I think this is the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my entire life!" Severus felt like he was in a wonderland. Sybil and Lily both laughed.

"Oh just wait! We can have fish and chips and candy floss!" Lily smiled.

"Can we ride the carousel?" Sybil turned her eyes appeared even larger than normal.

"Sure." Lily nodded.

"Here," Professor McGonagall had stopped and turned to them. "We are trusting you to behave yourselves. We will all meet back here when the sunset. You will need muggle money, so…" She reached into her small handbag that was hanging from her shoulder and pulled out paper money. She handed them each a pound. Severus' eyes went wide. "Now, this must last today and tomorrow so don't go losing it or spending it all on sweets." Minerva smiled kindly.

"This is too much money, Professor!" Severus tried to thrust it back at the woman. She merely reached out and closed his fingers around it again.

"It's alright. We're on holiday, are we not?" Professor McGonagall gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

"Yes." He nodded.

"Let's enjoy it, shall we?" Professor McGonagall released his hand and he looked over to the girls. Neither of them reacted in the same manner he did, and for a moment he was embarrassed. They were both from families that were better off than his, they had probably seen that much money before or given that much for a birthday or at Christmas.

"What should we do first?" Lily asked as she bounced up and down on the balls of her feet. Her muted yellow dress bouncing along with her.

"Can we eat? I'm feeling peckish." Sybil rubbed her hand over her stomach.

"Sure, Severus, is that okay?" Lily turned her eyes to him.

"Yes." He nodded. The money felt heavy in his pocket. He really felt it was way too much, and the guilt for accepting it weighed on him. They walked through the crowd until they came across the fish and chips stand. They all ordered and walked around eating from the greasy newspaper. Severus had never tasted anything so good, the salt and vinegar made his jaw feel peculiar but he loved it. Sybil had smiled at him when he began smacking his lips.

"Tell your future for a pence!" A woman was calling out from a small booth. Severus looked over at the old woman. Her white and gray hair was tucked beneath a deep purple headscarf, strand falling free around her aged face. She was sitting before a great crystal ball.

"Severus, we should go over there!" Lily motioned to the woman with a nod of her head.

"No way!" Severus scoffed. "It's bad enough to have deal with that during term. Not to mention she's a muggle, what would she know?"

"But I bet it would be a laugh!" Lily pouted. Sybil furrowed her brow and sucked her lips in. "Come on!"

"Liiiily." Severus cried as she grabbed ahold of his arm and started dragging him over to the booth.

"Can't we finish our fish and chips and go on the carousel?" Sybil asked meekly. Lily ignored their attempts to dissuade her.

"Hello. I would like you to tell my friend here is future if you would." Lily smiled sweetly as she put a penny on the woman's table. The old woman eyed Severus' with her one good eye, the other was clouded over.

"Sit." The woman pointed to the chair across from her. With heavy sigh Severus sat. "Don't say a word!" The woman waved her hands over the ball. Severus went to exchange a look with Sybil, but as soon as he saw the terrified look on her face his stomach fell to the soles of his feet. "Ahhhh….yes….it is cloudy, but I see…" The woman leaned her crooked nose so close to the crystal ball it was nearly touching. "I see great heartache for you, my son, yes a great and terrible heartache. This will leave you…broken. Oh….yes, I see a child not yet born….a girl child…oh you will dislike this girl…yes dislike her very much….OH….oh yes, oh my…this girl will be your light for you are travelling a path most dark. What…what is this?" The woman blinked several times as she moved her face back then forward again, squinting. "AHHHH!" She screamed and jumped back clutching her shawl to her chest. "That's enough, no more! No more! Go on with you now!"

The three teenagers scattered as fast as their feet could carry them.

"What on earth was that about?" Severus asked, his heart racing.

"What are the odds that Sybil AND some muggle imposter would BOTH see a girl who hasn't been born yet in your future?" Lily asked as she put her hands on her hips.

"It's nonsense, all nonsense." Sybil shook her head as she blurted out her opinion. "She's mad! I'm mad! Let's go ride the carousel!"

"What?" Lily shook her head as she rubbed her forehead with the palm of her hand.

"Let's go!" Sybil was refusing to acknowledge what had just occurred. Lily shrugged and followed Sybil in the direction of the carousel, Severus trailing behind. His mind stuck on what the old woman had said. A great heartbreak that would leave him broken? What on earth could that mean? What more terrible thing could happen than when he lost his mother? Why does this strange future girl keep popping up whenever anyone looks at his future? He didn't even know the girl, she wasn't even born yet and already he hated her.

He wasn't going to end up with this strange girl, he was going to marry Lily. He just had to.


	27. Life Isn't Fair

It was late. Really late. Severus sat in the middle of the tent near the small stove that held a few burning embers. Everyone had gone to bed hours before, and he had tried to sleep. But his mind wouldn't allow him. It kept going over everything that Sybil had said since that first day in Divination. He recalled how Professor Dumbledore had spoken to Sybil after hearing her prediction. He went over Lucius' comments to him, and now the strange old muggle woman.

Severus ran his hands through his hair, pulling it back away from his face as he stared into the glow of the blackened wood. Finally he went over his conversation with the headmaster concerning his future.

No matter what everyone said, it seemed as if they knew more than he did. Severus didn't like the idea that so many could know his future and he could know so little. He especially hated the idea of this strange girl. The more he thought about her the angrier he became. Who was she exactly to think she could just come into his life and ruin it? Well…okay, maybe it wasn't her fault. If everyone was correct she wasn't even born yet.

Severus scowled. He couldn't blame someone who wasn't even alive yet. Just about then he would have given his left arm for someone to blame, but despite his age he knew there was no one who could shoulder it. No one but his future self.

Even if what that mad muggle woman said were true, where on Earth would Lily be in that scenario? Severus mulled over it and couldn't think of any reason he would choose someone over Lily.

"Severus?" Professor Dumbledore's voice sounded behind him causing him to startle. He hadn't expected the old man to wake. "Are you feeling well my boy?"

"I'm fine, sir. I apologize if I woke you." Severus had turned slightly to look at him as he spoke before turning his attention back to the embers.

"Have you been to sleep yet?" Professor Dumbledore walked over to him and sat down slowly on a low stool.

"No, I can't sleep." Severus shrugged. "I'm just sitting here thinking."

"Care to share your thoughts?" The headmaster asked. Severus looked up at his face. He looked so tired, and for a moment he felt bad for waking him up.

"It's alright, sir. I'm alright."

"I would beg to differ. Come now, you can talk to me." He moved his hand to urge him. Severus sighed.

"I was just thinking about what that muggle fortune teller said to me." Severus replied.

"Oh, yes the fortune teller." Professor Dumbledore nodded slowly. "It just so happens she is not a muggle. She is a seer."

"She's a seer?" Severus' eyebrows shot up in disbelief.

"Yes, I know her quite well. Her name is Kitty Brown." Professor Dumbledore stroked his beard as his eyes flitted to the ceiling as he appeared to be remembering this Kitty Brown.

"Oh, well that's just swell! I don't know if that makes things better or worse!" Severus cried out as he dropped his forehead into his palm and rubbed his face.

"Is this about your future again, Severus?" The headmaster leaned forward slightly.

"Yes." Severus whispered.

"I really believe you would be better off if you would merely heed my earlier warning about knowing too much about one's own future, Severus." Professor Dumbledore sighed.

"I can't." Severus lifted his dark eyes. "I need to know. I need to know what heartbreak she was talking about, a heartbreak that would leave me broken? I need to know about this mystery girl who hasn't been born. Why would I have anything to do with her? Why would I fall in love with someone who is almost half my age when I love Lily?"

"Ah, there it is." Professor Dumbledore nodded with a small smile. Severus immediately regretted admitting his love for his friend. "I will…attempt to set your mind at ease. Please, keep in mind that although I know a little more than you, I do not know every detail. Can you accept this?"

"Yes!" Severus replied eagerly.

"Can you accept that Sybil only knows a little?" He asked, peering over his spectacles at the boy. "And what she knows I know, and she has kept it from you purely because I have told her it was unwise to share it?"

"Yes!" Severus sat up quickly.

"Very well." The headmaster nodded. "Severus, I do not know what heartbreak Kitty was talking about. I wish I did. I would do everything in my power to stop it. You've endured enough heartbreak. This girl, this strange mystery girl…is vague."

"Vague?" Severus furrowed his brow.

"The only information that was shown in the vision is her birth year of 1979. It was shown you shall meet her when she is a child and you will marry her when she is 23." Professor Dumbledore cast his gaze to his hands. "I do not know why you marry her, Severus, and not Lily."

"I can't understand that." Severus shrugged.

"Have you considered that perhaps, in this vision of the future, Lily chose someone else?" The look on the headmasters face suggested he had not wanted to say what he did.

"But that…that wouldn't be fair!" Severus' breath hitched, as if he were about to cry.

"Severus, life isn't fair. The girl has a right to choose who to love and who to marry. You must accept that her choice in the end may not be you no matter how much you love her. One of the hardest lessons to learn as you go through these awkward teenage years, is that you can love someone with everything you have inside you to love them but that will not guarantee they love you in return." Professor Dumbledore's eyes went glassy, as if he were speaking from experience.

"I know that, sir." Severus dropped his head.

"If it helps you in any way, the mystery girl? She loves you very much in the vision." Professor Dumbledore's voice was kind.

"But that doesn't mean I have to love her." Severus' voice went cold.

* * *

"I can't believe this is our last day here." Sybil pouted as they walked through the funfair. Severus kept glancing over at Lily hoping to catch her stealing glances his way. The future was a long way off, and it wasn't set in stone. He would make her love him.

"But it was fun!" Lily replied, her smile bright. It warmed Severus' heart to see her smile so widely.

"Come on, let's play a game or two!" Sybil pointed over at a stand that was giving children the chance to win small fish by bouncing a ball into their bowl.

"How much to play?" Lily asked the large man who was working the stall. He was bald and had a terrible five o'clock shadow.

"Two pence, little lady." The man's voice sounded like mud, if mud could talk. Lily and Sybil happily paid the man and began their attempts.

"Aren't you going to try Severus?" Lily pouted a bit.

"What's so fun about winning a concussed fish?" Severus raised an eyebrow as he watched Sybils ball land in a bowl.

"That's not the point!" Lily laughed and shook her head. Her ball went into a bowl as well, causing her to giggle with delight. Severus rolled his eyes and thrust his pence into the man's fat hand.

"You can do it!" Sybil squealed. "Win a concussed fish!"

"Sybil do you know what concussed means?" Severus dropped his hand to the small ledge and looked over at the girl with a small smile.

"Nope." Sybil shook her head cheerily. All Severus could do was chuckle, Sybil was the definition of unusual. He didn't even need the second or third try, he won on his first attempt. As the large man handed him his prize he heard the faint crying of a little girl.

Turning around he spotted a little girl, crying gently behind him. She had a mass of unruly brown hair, with a white ribbon tied about her head.

"Excuse me? Little girl?" Severus asked. He wasn't one to speak to crying children, but something about this little girl called out to him. She lifted her eyes and looked up at him. "Why are you crying?"

"I didn't win, and I have no more money to spend." The child replied. Severus deduced she was perhaps around seven years old. She had rather large front teeth and her face was freckled. "I really wanted a fish. I was to name him Little Lord Fin-leroy." She smiled a bit at her own cleverness, but the smile quickly faded. "But I didn't win him."

"I'll tell you what. If you stop crying, I'll give you mine." Severus crouched down so his face was even with hers. As soon as he offered up his prize to her both of her little fists flew to her mouth, and her eyes went wide.

"Do you mean it?" The child cried out from behind her tiny fists.

"I sure do. Now, can you dry up those tears?" He nodded to her glistening cheeks.

"Mmmm hmmm." She nodded her head quickly as she wiped her cheeks with her hands.

"That's better. Here you go." Severus handed over the small fish. He watched as her face lit up, like he had just handed her keys to the palace.

"Oh, thank you!" The girl cried out and threw her arms about his neck. "You're the nicest boy in the whole world!"

"It's nothing." Severus squirmed beneath the weight of the child. He stood up as he watched the girl go skipping merrily over to her parents who weren't far from the stand. She tugged on her mother's skirt and showed her the fish. Severus smiled.

"That was so kind!" Lily gushed.

"She was crying." Severus shrugged. He hadn't really wanted the fish to begin with. But there was something de ja-vu like about that little girls hair. Severus looked at Sybil who was smirking at him like the cat who ate the canary.


	28. Third Year

Severus grumbled as he tugged on his necktie. The start of term, a third year. He grimaced as he was shoved about trying to enter the great hall. Nothing like second years acting like they're seventh years to get the term started out right. Severus rolled his eyes. Stupid second years, just because they had students below them on the pecking order they thought that made them big shots. All it did was make them look like massive jackasses.

"Hi!" Sybil pushed into his shoulder.

"Hi, Sybil." Severus murmured.

"Isn't it great to be back at school?" She was smiling as her head turned quickly back and forth as she looked at all of the students.

"Yes, it was like I never left." His voice was dripping with sarcasm.

"Oh you!" Sybil laughed and playfully slapped his shoulder.

"Heya there, Snivellus!" James Potter came out of nowhere and threw his arm about Severus' neck like they were best friends.

"Potter." Severus replied flatly.

"Thought it would be best to just go ahead and get this out of the way. We're not going to have a repeat of last year are we?" James was speaking to him like he was an unruly younger sibling.

"Yeah, Snivellus. Because, to be honest, we're going to be waaaaay to busy for all of that. Don't make us pencil in daily ass kickings for you." Sirius Black chimed in from behind them. Severus could here Peter laughing moronically. Remus was silent.

"Why don't you just leave me alone?" Severus asked. He didn't want to deal with them at all, but especially on their first night back at the grind.

"THAT depends on you." James poked him in his chest with his pointer finger. "So what'll it be?"

"James Potter!" Lily's voice caused James to wrench his arm off Severus and turn around quickly, smoothing his robes.

"Hi, Evans. Have a nice holiday?" James asked as he attempted to fix his hair.

"Would you care to tell me what you think you're doing?" Lily narrowed her bright green eyes as she crossed her arms.

"Doing? Me?" James asked as he pressed his fingertips to his chest all the while doing his best to look as innocent as possible. "Why, I was just catching up with my good friend Snape here."

"Oh, really?" Lily tilted her head and jutted out a hip. "Because it sounded as if you and your goons were threatening him AGAIN this year."

"No, no, nope not at all!" James shook his head as he elbowed Sirius in the ribs.

"Owww!" Siruis rubbed the spot where he was just elbowed.

"Do not lie to me." Lily pointed a finger at the boys. "I heard you threaten to pencil in daily beatings!"

"Pencil in?" James pretended to be ignorant. "No, you misheard us!"

"I'm not stupid James Potter." Lily took two steps closer to them as she poked them both sharply in the ribs. Peter took to cowering behind James, and Remus stood there with a goofy smirk on his face. "If you touch a hair on his head this year I promise that not only will I make every day of your life miserable from now until our last day as Seventh years but I promise you will never know what it's like to father a child!"

"Ouch." Sirius gave his best friend an empathetic look.

"The same goes for you Black!" Lily turned her fury on Sirius. Severus watched as Sirius grimaced and covered his bits with both hands. "That's what I thought. Now do you understand me, both of you?"

"Fine, Evans." James huffed. "We promise we'll leave Snivellus alone this year."

"Good." Lily gave them each a final jab in the chest with her finger. "Now all of you go sit and wait for the feast to start." James, Sirius, Peter and Remus all turned tail and made their way to the Gryffindor table as fast as they could without running over other students.

"I can't believe you just said that to them!" Sybil's jaw was hanging slack.

"I had to or else they would have just kept it up." Lily shrugged. Severus shock began to wear off and the gravity of what had just happened began to settle in on him.

"Lily, you shouldn't have done that." Severus swallowed the lump that had taken hold in his throat.

"Why?" Lily turned and looked at him, a bit surprised.

"Because now they're going to give me hell because a girl is fighting my battles for me." Severus pointed to the Gryffindor table. Lily looked and saw them all pointing and laughing at Severus.

"Oh noooo." Lily groaned. "I'm sorry, I should have thought about that. I heard what they were saying and I just got so mad."

"It's okay." Severus sighed. "They were going to bully me one way or another."

"No, it's not right." Lily furrowed her brow.

"They've been doing it for two years." Sybil interjected as she shoved her glasses up on her nose and spastically patted her hair.

"They'll leave you alone, and I won't fight your battles I promise. We're going to figure out a way to MAKE them stop." Lily smiled.

"Yeah, sure." Severus nodded.

"I mean it. We'll get together tomorrow after classes end." Lily watched as everyone began taking their seats. "The feast is starting, we need to get to our tables."

"See you tomorrow." Sybil nodded as she ran to sit down. Severus sighed before going to the Slytherin tables. His eyes remained on Lily and he saw as soon as she sat down he punched Sirius in the shoulder. He was now rubbing it and James was holding his hands up in defeat.

* * *

Severus was surprised that not one person had gone out of their way to make him miserable since Lily threatened to castrate her housemates. That had been over two months ago. He found that he was actually enjoying his third year.

That was until the rumors started up again.

Around the first of November he was approached by a first year who asked him if he studied the Dark Arts. The kid looked so much younger than eleven, his bright blue eyes were large with fear as he spoke. Severus had sighed heavily as he remembered.

_"__Do you really study the Dark Arts? I heard you know more than any of the Professors!" The Hufflepuff swallowed hard, like it took every ounce of his courage just to mutter those few words. _

_"__Do you believe everything you hear?" Severus had snapped back causing the boy to jump and retreat a few steps. "No, I do not."_

_"__If you don't study it, why does everyone say that you do?" The Hufflepuff appeared confused._

_"__Because they're all idiots, that's why." Severus turned his gaze back to the book. "Now go away and do not bother me again."_

_The boy backed up slowly before turning and fleeing as fast as he could._

Severus began to notice that students would part as he walked down a hallway. They would even press themselves against the stone walls as not to touch him. It made him angry, but it also hurt. Severus only felt like more of an outcast now, which he was sure was Potter's doing, but he couldn't prove it.

He rubbed his eyes as he closed the book he was looking at.

"Hi, sorry we're late. Professor Herman's class ran late." Lily smiled as she sat down at the table across from Severus.

"There wasn't even a good reason for it." Sybil pouted as she plopped down in a chair, her arms crossed. "All he did was lecture us on spending more time studying because 'one day you may find you need this and you will not be prepared'." Sybil mocked him.

"He said that?" Severus looked to Lily who was pulling her hair back to fasten it.

"He said more than that." Lily rolled her eyes. "That man is obsessed with the idea that all of us are going to end up as aurors or something!"

"There is no way I would be an auror! I'd rather be a muggle." Sybil was still pouting.

"What's the matter Sybil? I've never seen you so upset." Severus was speaking to Sybil but he was looking at Lily.

"She got the worst of it from Professor Herman. He called her some pretty rotten names." Lily furrowed her brow.

"I hate him." Sybil took her glasses off to wipe the lenses on the sleeve of her robes. Severus finally saw her eyes, and they were red from crying.

"Sybil, don't cry! Professor Herman is nasty to everyone." Severus explained gently. "Don't let him upset you, after all we get to go to Hogsmeade tomorrow!"

"That's true." Sybil nodded as she sniffed.


	29. Hogsmeade

Severus was among a large group of students walking towards Hogsmeade. He pulled his scarf closer to his face as an icy blast rushed at his exposed skin. Lily and Sybil were as close together as they could get, their arms interlocked at their elbows, using each other's body heat to stay warm.

His eyes scanned the scenery, taking in every detail and setting them to memory.

"Severus!" Lily had turned and was waving for him to catch up to the girls. He hadn't realized he had stopped walking.

"Sorry." Severus mumbled as he walked up beside them.

He wasn't sure why Hogsmeade was so busy. Witches and Wizards were swarming everywhere. Severus narrowed his eyes as he noticed as soon as a student was within ear shot of any of the adults they would stop talking. Every face was filled with worry.

Something felt wrong.

"Severus?" The sound of Lily's voice pulled him out of his thoughts.

"What?" Hesitantly he met her eyes.

"I've said you name at least seven times! Are you okay?" Lily's eyebrows rose.

"I'm fine." Severus shrugged as he looked back at the groups of adults.

"I want to get candy!" Sybil tugged her hat down lower on her head.

"Okay, we'll go there first." Lily laughed.

Severus followed behind them, the uneasy feeling growing heavier the longer they were there. Something inside of him was screaming to get back to Hogwarts.

Honeyduke's was full of students. The three of them could barely make it through the door. Severus scowled as he was struck multiple times, once in the eye, twice in the ribs and he was pretty sure someone had pinched his rear. He gave up and went back outside to wait for his friends. Breathing hot air onto his mitten covered hands he shifted his weight from foot to foot to try to stay warm.

"Snivellus! Fancy seeing you here, eh!" Sirius Black swaggered over to him, James, Remus and Peter weren't far behind him.

"Imagine that, a Hogwarts student on a school sanctioned trip. You truly are a wonder, Black." Severus willed them to leave him alone.

"You're an arse, Snape." Peter scrunched up his face in an attempt to make Severus afraid.

"Just go away." Severus turned his shoulder to them, trying to ignore their presence.

"Every time I see your face, Snivellus, I get this strange urge to punch it." James smirked cockily as his friends laughed at his comment.

"Isn't that a shame, here I feel the urge to vomit when I see yours." Severus raised one eyebrow, forcing his face to remain still.

"If anyone is going to vomit it's going to be me!" James puffed his chest out. "Your face and all does that, makes me want to…yeah, ME!"

"Potter don't try to use your brain, I can see smoke coming out of your ears. Been awhile since you used it?" Severus decided he wasn't going to back down.

"Why don't you use your brain?" Sirius chimed in.

"Please, speaking to the four of you is like trying to teach a dog to speak Italian." Severus smirked this time, especially because he could see James' face growing red.

"That's it, Snivellus you just crossed the line!" James shouted, ripping his mittens from his hands and throwing them into the snow.

"No, mate don't use your wand! You'll get the adults over here screaming if you do!" Remus was fighting to get in front of James. "Come on, let's just go on."

"Get out of my way Remus!" James shoved his friend sideways. "Snivellus here is begging for a fight, so I'm going to give him what he wants."

"Listen to Remus, he's the only one of your goons that doesn't have a potato growing where his brain should be!" Severus pointed to Remus. The look on James' face went from angry to a hair over psychotic as he lunged at Severus.

Before James could land a single blow, Severus stepped backwards and watched as James fell face first into the snow. James scrambled upright, his feet sliding on the slippery stones. Severus guessed James hit a patch of ice that had been lying in wait under the recent snowfall because no sooner had the Gryffindor managed to stand upright than he fell backwards, his arms and legs flailing.

Severus couldn't help but laugh. At this point the fact that James Potter was kicking his own arse was gathering quite a little crowd. It was hilarious, until Professor McGonagall pushed through the crowd.

"What is the meaning of this?" Her lips were pursed, hands on her hips.

"Severus and James were fighting!" A small voice called out from the crowd. Professor McGonagall walked over and pulled James up from the ground by the back of his cloak.

"I didn't touch him, he did all of that to himself!" Severus raised his hands.

"Come along, Mr. Snape and Mr. Potter! Your trip has been canceled!"

Professor McGonagall had dragged them both back to Hogwarts by their robes.

* * *

"Now, this nonsense between the two of you will stop this very instant!" Professor McGonagall cried out as she released them both into her empty classroom. "I have reached my limit. The two of you WILL get along, am I understood?"

"Yes," James hung his head as his head of house berated them both.

"I am going to lock and ward this door. It will only open when you two are getting along. If I were you and had any plan to sleep in my own bed tonight I would make quick work of it!" Professor McGonagall turned on her heel and marched out of the room, closing the door.

"Well, this is a fine mess you got us into Snivellus." James plopped his weight down at an empty desk and crossed his arms.

"You're blaming me?" Severus scoffed. "I was standing there minding my own business waiting for Sybil and Lily to finish in Honeyduke's. YOU'RE the one who came up to me and decided to pick a fight!"

"You said all of those insulting things about us!" James fired back.

"YOU started a rumor about me knowing dark magic!" Severus shouted before finally sighing and sliding into an empty desk near the back of the room.

"I didn't start that rumor." James screwed his face up as he shook his head.

"Sure you didn't." Severus replied not looking in his direction.

"I'm serious. If I fight you I'll do it to your face." James replied.

"If you didn't start it then who did?" Severus waved his hand in the air.

"I don't know, but it wasn't me." James shrugged.

"We need to stop fighting, McGonagall looked ready to murder both of us." Severus crossed his arms on the desk and laid his chin to rest on his forearms.

"You're telling me, she's MY head of house." James looked to the door with a sour expression. "Look, I'll make you a deal ok?"

"Let me guess…stay away from Lily?" Severus spat the words out.

"No. She can be friends with whoever she wants." James shook his head as he stood up from his desk and walked over to the desk directly in front of Severus. "I won't do anything terrible to you if you agree not to go around making us look stupid?"

"You propose a truce?" Severus furrowed his brow in confusion.

"I'm not saying we have to be mates just that we'll stay away from one another." James shrugged his shoulders. "So what do you say?"

"A truce, huh?" Severus mulled over the idea. "Yeah, okay." They shook hands and the door unlocked.

"SEE?" James jumped up and pointed to the door with a large goofy grin on his face.

"Were you lying?" Severus narrowed his eyes at James who was walking towards the door.

"No, I mean it. We have a truce, I'll make sure the others know to leave you be." James answered over his shoulder before disappearing out into the hall.

"We'll see how long this lasts." Severus mumbled to himself as he followed suit, leaving the classroom.


	30. A Friend in Need

******I feel the need to post this every so often, as the description states this is a long fic. This will eventually lead to the SS/HG pairing, I promise, as it is the only kind of fic I write. Everything is happening for a reason, I promise. Thanks to everyone who has left reviews! ******

****Disclaimer: I still don't own these characters or this world and I am not making any money from this story****

"Severus?" Lily walked over to where he was tucked in at the library. His eyes snapped up to look at her as soon as he heard her voice.

"Hi, Lily." He smiled and sat upright immediately. Sitting her book down on the table she slid into the vacant chair beside him.

"What are you doing?" Lily craned her neck a bit to look at the pages of the book. "Oh! Potions!"

"Yeah, I'm just getting a bit of a head start on our next assignment." Severus smoothed out his parchment.

"Speaking of potions, I was wondering if you could help me? I'm not doing so well in that class and I really need to pass." Lily sighed as she ran her fingertips on the cover of her potions book.

"You should be doing well, after all you've already started studying for your OWLs. I think you're the only student here who started studying as a first year." Severus laughed lightly.

"Yeah…well…I have to work harder because I'm a muggleborn." Lily shrugged. "But I really need the extra help in potions and I know you always do well. Everyone knows that your Professor Slughorn's favorite student." She leaned his way and batted her eyes. Something didn't feel right to Severus.

"Lily, you have been studying for your OWLs right?" His brow knit together.

"To be honest, not really. I scan over the lessons we've already learned but I hardly count that as studying." Lily blushed at her confession.

"I don't understand, why would you lie about that? Especially to Sybil?" He was very confused.

"I had to." Lily looked down at her hands. "I've been hearing some nasty things about me being a muggleborn and how I shouldn't have the right to attend school with those who are half-blood or pure-blood."

"Who's been saying that? I haven't heard your name mentioned at all, and I am in the house where there's a lot of talk about muggleborns." He reached over and placed his hand atop hers. "You can tell me."

"Don't worry about it, Severus. I haven't heard anything in a while so maybe they've stopped? I still want to do well in potions though. Mum and Dad said that if I don't bring my grades up that they'll pull me out of Hogwarts and send me to a muggle school closer to home. Please? You don't want me to leave Hogwarts, do you?" Her bright green eyes found his, and at the sight of the tears swimming there Severus knew he had no other choice but to help her.

"Of course not, I won't let that happen. I'll help you, don't you worry." He straightened his back and smiled proudly. The tears in her eyes quickly disappeared.

"Wonderful!" Lily cried out, embracing him. "Thank you so much! I knew you wouldn't let me down!"

"We're best friends, of course I wouldn't let you down." Severus replied as she pulled away.

"Professor Slughorn assigned us a foot of parchment on the negative aspects of love potions. It's due tomorrow so make sure you have it ready by breakfast!" Lily smiled. Severus' jaw went slack. She didn't want help she wanted him to do her work for her. Before he could tell her that he would help, but not write it for her she leaned toward him and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you so much Severus!" He watched as she jumped up from the table and made her way out of the library.

Severus sat there for several moments, replaying the conversation in his mind in an attempt to figure out where exactly he had agreed to do her work for her. He hadn't. Severus knew he couldn't tell Sybil about what happened, she would be livid.

* * *

Half-way through Lily's assignment he was asked to go to the Headmasters office. He knew he had to go, but he also knew Lily wouldn't easily forgive him if he didn't have her parchment ready for her by breakfast. Not given any choice in the matter, Severus packed up his things and made his way to speak with Professor Dumbledore.

"Severus, so good of you to make such haste!" Professor Dumbledore smiled. Severus couldn't help but scowl, he had things to do.

"I didn't want to keep you waiting." Severus replied as he made his way to the chair nearest the old man.

"I do so hope I didn't interrupt something important?" The Headmaster asked as if he didn't think Severus had anything else to do but jump when called.

"I was working on some assignments." Severus plopped his weight down in the chair and huffed audibly.

"I shall make this quick then as not to keep you from your studies." Professor Dumbledore cleared his throat as he settled into the chair. "I have it on good authority Lucius Malfoy will be extending you an invitation to attend his holiday fete. This will be a three day event, and I would like to ask you to agree to attend."

"I thought you said it was in bad taste for him to invite me to his gatherings because of my age?" Severus leaned forward and tilted his head slightly.

"I did say that, yes. However, that was in regards to a stag party which is much different than a Christmas holiday gathering." Professor Dumbledore nodded,

"I don't understand why he is so intent on including me in his plans." Severus furrowed his brow. "He and I only spoke a few times while he was a student here."

"It could be a simple matter of house loyalty." Professor Dumbledore suggested.

"But if that were the case, would he not invite everyone in Slytherin House?" Severus shot back. "First his father sets up some sort of account to help me after my parents died, and now Lucius is going out of his way to include a thirteen year old third year. You don't find that odd, sir? He's married now, what could he and I possibly have in common?"

"Perhaps he feels the need to further your social standing?" The Headmaster stroked his beard. "It doesn't matter. I would urge you to attend, if not for the simple fact that Lucius Malfoy has seen fit to continue your financial support."

"I never asked for his help." Severus crossed his arms.

"That may be true, but without it you would not have your books or robes nor anything else you need for school." Professor Dumbledore pointed to his robes and his satchel which contained his books.

"Oh, I didn't think about that." Severus sighed. "Okay, when I get my invitation I will tell him I'll attend."

"Very good." Professor Dumbledore smiled. "I must warn you, Severus, you may hear things you are not quite used to hearing. You will be among pure-bloods and they are quite different than anyone else you may know."

"I'm around pure-bloods all the time." Severus stood up, grabbing the strap of his bag.

"Yes, while that may be technically true there is a difference between pure-blood children and pure-blood adults." Professor Dumbledore explained. "I suggest you speak only when spoken to, and only after you carefully consider your words."

"I can do that." Severus shrugged.

* * *

He had been up so late he greeted the sunrise bleary eyed and physically exhausted. At least he had finished his own assignments and Lily's. No sooner had his head hit the pillow than his roommates began poking him to get up for breakfast.

He dragged his feet all the way to The Great Hall, where he saw Lily eagerly scanning the crowd, looking for him. As soon as her eyes found him her entire face lit up, and she half jogged over to him.

"Did you finish it?" She asked eagerly. Severus nodded and handed it to her. "Oh, thank you so much!" Her eyes skimmed over the assignment as they walked in with the other students.

"Lily?" Severus began. He couldn't have another night like he did the night before. It was taking every ounce of self-control he had not to fall asleep where he stood.

"Sorry, Severus we need to go sit!" Lily was still smiling as she turned and skipped to Gryffindor's table, leaving him standing there ready to burst into tears from exhaustion. He heaved himself onto the bench at Slytherin table and leaned his face on his palm. His eyes closed involuntarily.

The screech of the owls jarred him awake, one dropping an envelope on his head. Yawning he broke the seal.

Professor Dumbledore had been correct.

Lucius requested the pleasure of his company for a three day fete for Christmas holiday.


	31. On the Third Day of Christmas

"Severus!" Lucius Malfoy called out, one arm extending outward towards the boy in a dramatic flair while the other held a glass of wine. "It was so very good of you to come!" His white/blonde hair was longer than Severus had remembered, tied back at the nape of his neck with what appeared to be a black velvet ribbon.

"Hello, Lucius. Thanks for inviting me." Severus squirmed. He had been awestruck just walking up to the manor hour. Even in winter the houses landscaping appeared the epitome of perfection, but gods in paled in comparison to what was lying beyond the massive doors.

"Ah, it was no trouble at all." Lucius kept his chin lifted, his eyes downcast to the much shorter Severus. "Tell me, what do you think of my little bungalow?"

"I thought this was a mansion?" Severus furrowed his brow in confusion. Lucius chuckled haughtily.

"I see you haven't lost your charming sense of humor!" He put his arm around Severus and guided him deeper into the massive and opulent room. Severus didn't even know what type of room they were standing in, it was way too large to be a sitting room. "Narcissa! Come here my love! Look who I found standing on the outskirt of the room!"

"Severus, right?" Narcissa had her hair piled high on her head, strings of pearls wound through it. She extended her hand to him, palm down.

"Yes." Severus nodded nervously as he reached out and shook her hand a bit to enthusiastically. He watched as Narcissa gave him a quizzical look at his gesture before turning to her husband with stretched smile.

"We were under the impression you were avoiding us, Severus. It was greatly distressing I must say." Lucius sipped the last of his wine from his glass and thrust it at a nearby cowering house elf.

"No, I wasn't avoiding you! Professor Dumbledore is my guardian now and he…well…he just has a lot of rules." Severus shrugged.

"Yes well, some things never change do they?" Lucius chuckled haughtily once again. "I will have one of our house elves show you to your room so that you may settle in. I'm afraid you're a bit early, we are expecting quite an unusual number of guests this weekend. You shall be introduced to some very powerful and influential witches and wizards during your stay."

"Lucius?" Severus swallowed as he shot a quick glance around the large room, taking in the tapestries and golden candelabras. Lucius had obviously done massive renovations on the manor house since the last time Severus had been invited. "If I may ask, why did you invite me? I'm just a third year."

"Severus, oh quaint and naïve Severus, yes that may be true but you shall not be a third year forever now shall you?" Lucius spoke with flourishing hand movements.

"No, I suppose not." Severus replied.

"There is never such a thing as too young to be introduced to those who can help pave the way for you once you are of age. I must also admit to feeling a bit offended, Severus, I thought we had been friends during my time at Hogwarts. Were we not friends, Severus?" Lucius pressed his fingertips onto his chest.

"Yes, yes of course." Severus nodded quickly. He didn't want to offend Lucius. It wasn't as if he had a legion of friends. The last thing he wanted to do was to alienate one of the few he could claim.

"That's what I thought." Lucius gave a curt bow of his head. "Now, your rooms. Dobby!"

A small house elf appeared the moment his name was uttered.

"Yes, master?" The small elf kept his head lowered as he spoke.

"Show our young guest to his room and fetch anything he asks for." Lucius ordered, plucking up another glass of wine from a tray a different house elf was carrying.

"Yes, master. This way, young sir, follow Dobby." The house elf turned and motioned for Severus to follow him. He walked up a massive curving staircase made of marble with such a shine to it he could see his reflection in the stone. Severus had never seen a house so grand. After a while he began to muse internally about what it must have been like to grow up surrounded by beautiful things.

"Is this it?" Severus asked as they approached a room with a dark wooden door.

"Yes, young sir." Dobby pushed the doors open and Severus trailed him inside.

"Wow." Severus eyes went wide with wonder. The bed stood high on a platform and had four huge posts with white fabric draping everywhere. Large plush chairs sat near the biggest fireplace he had ever laid eyes on.

"Is there anything Dobby can get the Master Snape, young sir?" Dobby was rubbing his hands together, his back hunched and a look of fear hanging on his face.

"Could I have some tea, please?" Severus asked with a slight smile.

"Oh, there's no need for please, young sir. Dobby will fetch some tea for the young sir." With a pop Dobby was gone. Severus made quick work of removing his bag from his pocket. He knew he wasn't permitted to do magic outside of Hogwarts but Professor Dumbledore had given him permission to shrink and resize his bag.

Dobby didn't take too long and was back with tea before Severus could sit down on one of the large chairs.

"Tea, young sir." Dobby placed the tray on the table nearest the chair where Severus finally sat. With a snap of his fingers the house elf ignited a fire in the fireplace.

"Thank you, Dobby." Severus nodded as he poured himself some tea.

"If the young Master Snape needs anything just call out Dobby, and Dobby will come right away." The house elf backed away from Severus, obviously uncomfortable with the kindness Severus was trying to show him.

"Alright, Dobby." Severus sighed with a smile. He couldn't upset the house elf with any more politeness. The house elf disappeared again.

* * *

The weekend seemed to drag on with one boring conversation after another. He was grateful on the second day when Lucius had told him to go lie down because he appeared unwell.

He wasn't unwell, not in a physical sense anyway. Severus had been introduced to Narcissa's sister, Bellatrix and there was something about her that made his stomach uneasy. A small voice in the back of his mind kept whispering to him that he needed to get away from her, but there was nowhere to go. It would have been bad form to go to his friend and tell him his sister-in-law was making him ill.

The third day was the worst. The Headmaster had owled Lucius the night before and requested that he have Severus back at Hogwarts no later than eight that evening. Lucius had been upset, but he quickly hid it. Severus spent most of his time in a state of confusion. Until…

"Severus, would you please come with me there is someone I have been dying to introduce you to all weekend and it just so happens he has arrived, and just in time I daresay as your guardian has informed me you are to be back on school grounds no later than eight." Lucius adjusted his jacket sleeve before they began walking.

They turned down a long passage way and Severus could feel his heart begin to race.

"Who is it?" Severus swallowed the lump in his throat and worked up the nerve to ask just as Lucius stopped in front of a door.

"He's a very important wizard who was good friends with my father." Lucius replied as he opened the door. Severus followed behind. The room was poorly lit save for one candle's flame dancing in the darkness.

"I have brought the boy I told you about, sir." Lucius addressed a man seated in a chair just beyond the light of the candle. Severus couldn't make out any of his features, he was merely a dark object moving in a dark room.

"Thank you, Lucius." The man replied. "It is a great pleasure to finally make your acquaintance Severus Snape, our mutual friend has told me a great deal about you."

"Hello, sir." Severus nodded.

"You do not know who I am?" The man asked a tone of amusement played in his voice.

"No, sir, I apologize." Severus could feel his palms sweating.

"No need to apologize my boy, you may call me Monsieur DeMort. I have…interests and holdings here that the late Mister Malfoy was in charge of. After his untimely passing his son here took over and he is now with whom I do my business. I was quite taken by your sad story, Severus, the death of your parents so close and you so young. Lucius tells me you are already quite the talent at Hogwarts. Tell me, has his examination of you been correct?" The voice asked.

"I do well, sir." Severus replied, his eyes jumping to Lucius, whom he could just barely make out.

"So humble, so modest." Monsieur DeMort gushed. "Yes, you shall do nicely."

"Nicely, sir?" Severus shook his head, he wasn't sure what the man meant.

"It just so happens I employ witches and wizards of certain talents. I would like to offer you a job, once you come of age of course. Should you agree Lucius shall contact me and you and I will sit and speak some more." Monsieur DeMort said, unmoving in the shadows.

"Thank you, sir that is a very kind offer." Severus knit his brow.

"Yes, it is. Now that is all, Lucius if you would." Monsieur DeMort moved slightly. Before Severus knew what was happening he was outside of the room.

"What just happened, Lucius?" Severus turned to his friend.

"Severus, you were just in the presence of the greatest wizard to have ever lived and he has taken to you. I daresay you should feel quite privileged, he does not like many people." Lucius replied. "Now, come, the hour approaches and we mustn't keep the headmaster waiting."


	32. Another Birthday

Severus felt like he was walking in a dream. Everything was going so well since his truce with Potter. Sure, he was still stuck doing Lily's work, in secret, but it was better than having her cross with him. Sybil had been acting a bit more unusual than normal, but Severus supposed that was just her way.

He was sitting in the library hard at work with an actual smile on his face. He stopped writing and sat his quill down, looking around the library. Maybe now it wouldn't be so bad here. It was hard to believe that Potter kept his word but Severus wasn't going to complain. Reaching up he loosened his tie and unbuttoned the top button on his shirt. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows and he content.

"Hi, Severus." He turned around and saw Sybil walking towards him. She was holding a green wrapped present. "I brought you your gift!"

"Thanks Sybil!" Severus smiled and gestured to the chair across from him. Sybil pulled the chair out and slipped into the seat. He watched as she sat the gift down and pushed her glasses up.

"Happy Birthday!" She smiled widely for a moment before her face returned to the normal vague state of fret it was usually set in.

"Thanks, you didn't have to get me anything." Severus took the gift into his hands and tore the paper away from it. Looking down he saw a navy blue leather bound copy of A Winter's Tale. He laughed. He didn't mean to, but Severus found he couldn't stop himself.

"What's so funny?" Sybil asked, her eyebrows pinched together.

"Nothing, I love it." Severus smiled.

"I thought you would." Sybil replied crossing her arms and looking quite pleased with herself. "Oh, I ran into James Potter on my way here. He was looking for you."

"He was looking for me?" Severus scrunched his face in confusion.

"He said Lily asked him to give you a note. I told him I was on my way to see you and I offered to bring it for him." She explained. He watched as she searched her person for the note. Finally, she proudly pulled it from a pocket and handed it to him.

He unfolded it as quickly as he could.

_Severus,_

_Meet me on the astronomy tower so I can give you your gift._

_-Lily_

His mind raced with possibilities.

"Sorry, Sybil I have to go." He began packing his things up as fast as his hands could move. Severus glanced up at Sybil who looked worried. "Lily wants me to meet her."

"Oh." Sybil nodded slowly.

"I'll see you tomorrow!" Severus flashed her a smile. He was filled to the brim with happiness.

"Alright." Sybil watched as he ran from the library.

* * *

Severus continued to run as fast as he could up the stairs of the astronomy tower. Images of Lily's smiling face were filling his mind. When he ran through the doorway and came out beneath the stars and the crisp night air brushed his skin his eyes darted for her.

Suddenly, in his excitement, he hit a patch of ice and went flying over the surface. His arms and legs flailing he quickly approached the side of the tower and went over. Somehow he managed to hold on, a one handed grip was keeping him from falling to his death.

That's when he heard it. Laughing.

Four faces appeared over the edge of the tower, all looking down at him.

"Snivellus you freak!" James was laughing so hard he had tears brimming in his eyes.

"You should have seen yourself, running up here thinking Evans was waiting for you and BAM, you went flying like a spastic giraffe trying to ballet dance!" Sirius chimed in.

"Pull me up!" Severus yelled, his heart was beating so fast he thought he was going to throw up.

"It was sheer beauty! We didn't think you'd go over the edge!" James looked to his friends with a smug look on his face. "Didn't I tell you this would be worth leaving him alone for a little while?"

"You sure did, James! You're a genius!" Peter was nodding like an idiot.

"Please, come on and pull me up before I fall!" Severus pleaded again, his grip beginning to loosen.

"We really should pull him up now." Remus was the only one who wasn't laughing.

"Fine." James pouted. "You do it."

Remus pulled out his wand in a moment Severus felt himself being lifted to safety. His body hit the icy stones hard.

"Like Evans would meet you up here!" James shook his head, shoving hjs hands deeper into his pockets. "You're pathetic Snivellus. Come on guys." James turned and walked towards the doorway. Remus lingered for a moment.

"Sorry Snape, I didn't think you would go over like that. I wouldn't have agreed to do it had I known." Remus' eyes were full of regret, his voice low so his buddies couldn't hear him.

"Just leave me alone." Severus held his shoulder, his hair covering is face as he looked down.

Remus turned to catch up to his friends, leaving Severus alone and in tears.

So much for a truce.

* * *

"Good morning, Severus!" Lily bounded over to him as he walked towards the Great Hall. She never did wish him a happy birthday.

"Lily, did you forget something yesterday?" Severus asked as he continued to walk.

"No, I don't believe so." Lily shook her head.

"You forgot my birthday." He replied flatly.

"OH!" Her hands jumped to her mouth. "I'm so sorry, Severus, I must have gotten my days mixed up!" Severus didn't reply. The silence only held for a moment. "Did you finish my assignment?"

"Lily!" Sybil cried out angrily from behind them. Neither had known she was there until she spoke up. They both spun around.

"Hi, Sybil!" Lily greeted her cheerily.

"Don't 'hi Sybil' me! You forgot Severus' birthday yesterday. You've been making him do your work for you and it isn't right. You're using him! It's not right and I don't like it." Sybil crossed her arms.

"He offered, don't be mad at me!" Lily cried out quite offended.

"Actually…"Severus held up a finger. "I offered to help you not do it for you. That part you did kind of just assume."

"I cannot believe you two! How are you going to get mad at me for something you offered to do and something you have BEEN doing?" Her eyes narrowed as her cheeks grew red.

"You're not being a very good friend." Sybil spat.

"Oh yeah? I'm not being a good friend am I?" Lily stomped and clenched her fists at her side. "MAYBE I'll just make NEW friends!"

"Maybe you should!" Sybil screamed back. Severus didn't know what to say.

"Maybe I will!" Lily replied nastily as she turned and left them standing where they were. Sybil let her gaze fall onto Severus. "I'm sorry Severus I couldn't stop myself, I was just so angry."

"I don't think I have ever seen you like that before, Sybil." Severus replied with his eyebrows raised.

"So much for your first full day as a fourteen year old." Sybil pursed her lips.

"Yeah, so much for that." Severus turned and continued on his way to the Great Hall.


	33. Summer and a Hard Decision

**Sorry for the delay, the past two weeks have been filled with award ceremonies and school ending for my children and a hard class coming to an end for me in grad school. I have not given up on this story, I promise! Thanks for hanging in there with me!**

"Snape!" Professor Herman bristled. Severus hunched as he prepared for the onslaught he was sure was about to come at him. His mind hadn't been on his apprenticeship since term ended. All he could think about was Lily walking away from him, angrier than he had ever seen her before. "Snape!" Severus blinked as his eyes fell back to Professor Herman who was now looming over him.

"Yes, sir?" Severus asked, his eyebrows furrowed.

"Are you currently aware that you are displaying every emotion that you are feeling upon your face? Every thought that is in that shabby little head of yours is written plainly as the nose on your face." Professor Herman motioned to the tip of Severus' nose with his wand causing the boy to shrink back slightly.

"No, sir." Severus replied shaking his head.

"Your emotions will be a hindrance to any work you hope to do! Should you find yourself with an enemy he will defeat you with no more exertion than it takes to smash a bug!" Professor Herman's eyes were bulging as he yelled, spittle flying from his mouth. "Is that something you are aiming for, death by some wizard with far less skill than you?"

"No, sir." Severus shook his head.

"Control your emotions, Snape! Did the little ginger Gryffindor break your poor little heart? You shouldn't give another the power to emotionally cripple you, you bloody fool!" Professor Herman spun on his heel as he strode away from Severus.

"How did you…" Severus started before the large man turned his attention back on him.

"Because I have eyes you stupid boy! I am bloody good at my job. As long as you allow others to dictate your inner self you will remain a nobody. You shall be no one, a boil on the arse of wizarding society! You may as well snap your wand now if you are only going to grow up and waste the talent you have!" Professor Herman was enunciating with his wand wildly. "Tell me, am I wasting my time with you?"

"No." Severus squared his shoulders.

"Emotions are not a luxury one can afford when taking on dark wizards. They will use anything you care for against you. Should you continue on this path, you will never love without knowing that your love could come at the price of their life." Professor Herman sighed, his shoulders dropping. "Snape, you are young and while part of me wants not to tell you these things there is a louder portion of my mind screaming at me to inform you now while you have the time to learn the lesson the easy way." His hand found the scars on his face and neck, the skin puckered and pock marked in faded, icy white scar tissue against his pale countenance.

"Sir?" Severus furrowed his brow, pulling his professor from his thoughts.

"I am about to tell you something I have not told anyone in decades." Professor Herman quickly put his wand away. "I am only telling you this in hopes you will learn from my experience. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir." Severus nodded.

"When I was a young man I was married. My wife was a beauty, slender as a willow and her eyes…Merlin…as blue and clear as the waters on a tropical island. She was eighteen when she married me, gods, still to this day I don't know what she saw in me." Professor Herman chuckled to himself. "I was twenty-seven. A year after we married she gave me twin sons. I'll never forget the day they were born, and how it felt to hold them in my arms. I was called away the next day, by the Ministry. We were tasked to bring in a fringe group of dark wizards. Somehow they found out our names and where we lived. There were four of us on assignment, and they killed all of our families. My beautiful young wife and infant sons…their lives snuffed. I loved them Snape, and that love was the window the dark wizards chose to use to get to me…and it worked. I quit the Ministry, tried to drown myself in firewhiskey…that was until Albus found me and pulled me up from that downward spiral. Do you understand what I'm trying to tell you? You have no one right now, you must keep it that way if you ever chose danger over normalcy. You cannot have both." Professor Herman had sat down half-way through his speech, his head leaning back against the stone wall of his classroom. He lifted his eyes to Severus who sat staring at him, dumbfounded.

Severus didn't know what to say to him. Sybil's words drifted up from the back of his mind like a gentle fog…_you won't marry her until she's 23…_he despised the mystery girl that kept creeping up in the most unexpected ways, but he found himself suddenly worried. He didn't want anyone to die because he loved them. Lily.

"You're telling me to…let her go?" Severus folded his hands.

"Yes. If you love the girl, let her go and have a normal life." Professor Herman. "It's better to know the person you love is safe in the arms of another than dead because your arms couldn't let her go."

Severus swallowed hard.

"I understand."

"Good." Professor Herman hoisted himself up from the floor, groaning slightly as he rubbed his knee that had made a loud popping sound with his movement. "You don't have to decide now, but you should give it serious thought. You have an advantage with these apprenticeships, and that is your age. You won't have to unlearn bad habits. Go on, that's all for today."

Severus stood up and walked from the classroom, his thoughts lingering on the days' lesson.

His life up to this point couldn't be described as normal. He knew that. Severus sighed, dragging his fingers along the wall as he continued to walk. Was is fair to ask a fourteen year old to make such a massive decision about his life? He loved Lily, had since he first met her. That didn't guarantee she would grow up and agree to marry him, he wasn't delusional. But what if she did and he chose to go down the path of working for the Ministry. Then he would have to choose to either break her heart or risk her life to be with her.

Severus frowned, his shoes echoing in the empty and vast corridor.

For a moment he wondered what his mother would advise him to do.

Gods he missed her.

Could he take work doing something menial? Sure, but would he be content to do that? Severus mulled the thought over. He could be content as long as he had her. But then again, maybe his father had thought the same thing and look at the failure he turned out to be. Severus shuddered at the thought of ever becoming like Tobias.

He pulled the broach his mother had given him that last Christmas before she died, and ran his thumb over the cameo as he walked.


	34. What's This?

**Sorry for not updating in awhile, I didn't give up on this story, school is kicking my butt! LOL, but I graduate soon so there's that! I hope to get a lot more chapters out! I hope you like the update and thanks for reading!**

Severus decided to take the next few days for himself instead of attending to his apprenticeships. The headmaster hadn't seemed overly interested in his reasoning, and Severus was glad. He didn't want to tell the old man about the conversation he had had with Professor Herman. He knew where Professor Dumbledore stood on the matter of Lily, his opinion didn't need repeating.

He sighed as his fingers trapped the strands of hair the wind was blowing over his face. The sun had cleared the horizon barely an hour since Severus ventured outside to walk around the lake. He had to clear his mind, away from any potential interruptions and especially away from the castle.

A cringe creeped onto his face. He wasn't sure when exactly the feeling had started, but he knew that he was quickly growing tired of being within the once liberating walls of Hogwarts. When he was eleven it was his saving grace and now at fourteen it felt like his prison.

Severus shoved his hands deep into the pockets of his slacks as he kicked his toe into some smaller rocks, sending them flying off in different directions.

Squinting he looked out over the water, the morning sun glistening off the gentle ripples of the water. At least it was a peaceful day. Shrugging to himself he turned and continued on his walk,

He knew that you can't make people feel any sort of way about you, they will feel how they feel. He conceded the idea that Lily would never love him if they were not even friends anymore. Suddenly his cheeks felt hot and his stomach turned. Lily had written him several letters since term ended. She felt terrible with the way they had parted, but Severus hadn't responded. He was unsure of how to reply, but the lack of replying made him feel guilty. Sybil had written back, or at least that's what she told him in her letters.

Thinking of Sybil brought back the memories of everything pertaining to that damned mystery girl that kept creeping up. Severus knit his brow together. As if he would marry someone so much younger than him…

"Wait." Severus suddenly stopped walking and began speaking aloud to himself. "If they kept seeing me marry some chit when I'm older, then I guess I don't choose to work with the ministry which would mean I wouldn't be putting anyone at risk! If that's the case, why couldn't I grow up and marry her?"

Suddenly he was smiling.

"That's it! I just won't marry the mystery girl is all, I'll work extra hard at getting Lily to return my feelings!" Severus' hands snapped out of his pockets before he clapped them together. "I can't believe I didn't think of this before!" He turned and began to jog back towards the castle. He had to write back to Lily, repair their friendship.

He was out of breath by the time he rushed through his door and into his private rooms. His cheeks flushed as he bent over, hands on his knees to catch his breath. Lifting his eyes he saw a small parcel wrapped in brown paper waiting for him atop his small table. Wiping his forehead with his the back of his hand he approached it and began pulling the twine from its knot. Inside the box were a few glass vials of what appeared to be dried flower petals, and a bit of parchment. Severus plucked the parchment from within and began to read it.

_Dear Severus,_

_My mother planted her garden this year and my Dad said these flowers were used in potions, so I immediately thought of you. He said they're called Paeonia lactiflora. I'm not sure if you can use them or not but perhaps you could better pass the time at Hogwarts by beginning to stock your potions ingredients? I'll write again soon!_

_Your friend,_

_Sybil_

Severus looked closer at the dried wilted petals in the vial as he turned it over in his hand.

"Paeonia lactiflora." He repeated the name as he inspected the ingredient. "That's odd." He chuckled to himself as he sat the vial back in the box.

His thoughts didn't linger on the gift much longer than the few moments after opening the box, instead his mind automatically jumped back to writing to Lily.

_Dear Lily,_

_I'm sorry I haven't written back to you. I admit I was still a bit upset at how we left things at the end of the term. We're friends though, and what kind of friend would I be if I didn't forgive? You and Sybil are my closest friends and I would like to keep it that way. I hope you're having a lovely summer holiday, and I look forward to seeing you again come the start of term. Perhaps, if I ask nicely, the Headmaster will allow me to make plans to meet you and Sybil at Diagon Alley to purchase supplies._

_Yours Always,_

_Severus_

Severus sat up and reread what he wrote a few times before taking a long deep breath. For a brief moment his reasoning faltered, everything hinged on his belief of what Sybil had predicted about his future. He loved her like sister but he did think her slightly mad not to mention he questioned her divination abilities. Severus chuckled as he made to send the letter off. He didn't exactly put much faith in the whole divination thing, he thought it all rubbish.

He sent the owl off, carrying the letter to her.

Some hope was better than none at all he supposed. Refreshed, Severus turned and grabbed the box Sybil had sent him. Removing the vials he put them on his shelves before vanishing the box and wrapping away.

That was one good thing about living at Hogwarts, his use of magic wasn't forbidden because he was within the school walls. His eyes ran over the shelf he had set the vials on, they were right next to Sybils other gifts to him, the books that were the same Shakespearean play. He never did read them.

He still didn't have the desire to read them.


	35. Fourth Year Starts

***35 Chapters in, and I still do not own anything nor am I making money from this. This is just for a bit of fun. Enjoy!***

Severus stood by the entrance to the Great Hall waiting to spot Lily and Sybil. He fidgeted with his tie before straightening out his robes. He sort of missed riding the train in with them. He furrowed his brow and shifted his weight from one foot to the other as the students began to pour in for the new term.

Laughter and chatter now filled the air, which was nice and annoying all at once. Severus frowned. Something about him made him different than the other students, he didn't know what it was exactly nor why it was, it just was. No one bothered to look at him as they passed by, no smiles, no jokes, no one asking him how his holiday had been. Internally he bristled.

"Severus!" Lily called out from behind the crowd, she was waving at him. A smile spread across his face as he waited for her to make her way over to him. He could see Sybil's bushy blonde hair bouncing behind Lily. She had grabbed Sybil's hand and was now pulling her over to meet up with Severus.

"Hi!" Sybil nodded, pushing her glasses up.

"Hi, how was the train ride?" Severus asked.

"Long, but pretty much the same as it is every year." Lily replied. Severus stared at her a bit. Something about her had changed over the summer appearance wise but he couldn't put a finger on what exactly it was that had changed. "How about you? Did you find ways to pass the holiday here?"

"Yeah, it wasn't so bad this year. I wish we could've all met up though." Severus shrugged.

"Maybe next year, after all we'll be fifteen." Sybil was walking in an odd manner. Severus looked down to her feet and noticed for some reason she was walking on her toes trying not to step on any cracks, which at Hogwarts was near impossible.

"Hey, Snivellus! I didn't think it was possible but I do believe you have gotten even uglier over the holiday!" James chuckled as he turned to his friends for their approval.

"When you're right, you're right!" Sirius chimed in.

"Don't listen to them." Lily took Severus by the elbow as she scowled at James and his friends.

"Awww come on Evans, can't a guy joke around?" James feigned hurt feelings. Lily stuck her nose in the air and turned her back to them.

"They shouldn't be so mean, that's no way to win friends." Sybil shook her head.

"They don't care about making friends, Sybil. They're more than content to play at being Lord of the Flies." Severus replied with a frown. Lily bit her lip to stifle her smile. "We should go to our tables, they're about to start."

"Talk to you after!" Lily smiled as she parted ways with Sybil and Severus. Sybil gave him a curt not before leaving him, and sighing Severus found his way to the end of the Slytherin table.

He wasn't sure why, but suddenly he thought of Lucius. He hasn't written all summer. Severus leaned on the table and rubbed his forefinger on his chin as he considered the reasons why he was suddenly ignoring him. Finally, he shrugged to himself. Lucius was married now, surely he had other things to tend to.

The sorting ceremony didn't take as long as the previous three years. There were less first years this time around. Severus glanced up at the head table. Professor Herman wasn't there. Severus furrowed his brow. He had just seen him a few days ago when he had his last apprentice meeting with him before the start of term.

He felt a sharp jab at his spine, turning around he saw a house elf holding out a bit of parchment to him. Quickly, Severus took it and read it.

_Severus,_

_Please come to my office after the students are dismissed to their dormitories._

_-Professor Dumbledore_

"Sir?" Severus asked as he walked into the headmasters office.

"Severus! Come in! Come in!" Professor Dumbledore motioned for him to join him in the chairs closest the roaring fire. "Would you care for some tea?"

"No, thank you, sir." Severus shook his head as he lowered himself into the chair. "You wanted to see me, sir?"

"Ah, yes I did my boy. Yes, indeed." He nodded as he stroked his beard. "I take it you noticed the absence of Professor Herman, did you?"

"Yes, sir." Severus nodded. "I saw him just a few days ago, he seemed fine then."

"I saw him the very same day. He came to me to inform me of your progress. You've done very well, Severus, very well. I must say for a new fourth year student to be performing at the level of a new seventh year it something quite remarkable." Professor Dumbledore seemed to dance around the topic he truly wanted to discuss. Severus could sense it.

"Sir? Is Professor Herman alright?" Severus swallowed the lump that had formed in this throat.

"I'm afraid not, Severus." The headmaster stood and walked towards the fire, his hands laced behind him. "I had dared hope it over, seeing that Professor Herman had been with us for so many years, but I dared hope and I was wrong. Severus, Professor Herman was found dead at his private home yesterday. It appeared he cast the killing curse on himself. How he was able to do so, remains a mystery to me as well as the aurors investigating it."

"Professor Herman is dead?" Severus shook his head in disbelief.

"I'm afraid so." Professor Dumbledore nodded sadly. "We have yet to find a replacement Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor, the timing and all."

"I don't know what to say, sir. I-I- genuinely liked Professor Herman." Severus felt the sadness in the pit of his stomach.

"Severus, sometimes the pain of living becomes too much for a man. It is a terrible tragedy, what happened to Professor Herman but we must carry on." The headmaster returned to his seat.

"He didn't do it to himself, sir." Severus straightened his back. "I know he didn't."

"I do hope you are correct, but the fact is until the investigation is completed we cannot know for sure." Professor Dumbledore replied.

"No, you don't understand. He was making plans for next summer when I last spoke to him. He said he wanted me to test next year, to sit my NEWTS for DADA." Severus stood up. "If he had been planning to do this to himself he wouldn't have made plans with me."

"Severus, my boy…" Professor Dumbledore started before Severus interrupted him.

"I'm not saying it out of grief, sir, I mean it. He seemed happy, which was odd for him, he was always sour but I'm speaking the truth!" Severus couldn't understand why he knew someone had murdered his professor. "Someone killed him! They have to catch whomever did it!"

A knock came at the window and the headmaster held up a finger for Severus to wait while he fetched the owl that was there waiting for him. Severus watched as the old man took the envelope the bird had carried to him, he broke the seal and was reading the parchment.

"Well! A bit of good news then!" Professor Dumbledore turned to the wide eyed Severus. "It appears we shall have a DADA Professor this year after all. An American witch named, Leopolda Grupe has agreed to take on the position as she just married and moved to here to the wizarding world with her new husband! I do wonder…her husband is a distant cousin to the Malfoy's…they carry the same surname…" He left his thought unfinished.


	36. Bottle It Up

"Snape! See me after class!" Professor Grupe belted out causing every student to jump. Severus sighed as he watched everyone exit the room. He had remained seated and was now watching the woman as she walked over to him. She was younger than most of the other Professors. If Severus had to guess she appeared to be around twenty-five or so. She wasn't beautiful in any sense of the word, her features were cut hard like stone, her eyes were a dull gray and she wore her blonde hair pulled back into a bun so tight it looked as if it were pulling her face up and back. "Snape, Headmaster Dumbledore told me about your circumstances and your agreement concerning apprenticeship."

"Yes," Severus gave a slow nod.

"Well, while I do feel poorly about the reasons for your becoming a ward of the school, I must discontinue your apprenticeship. Now, I understand you are quite talented and very close to having the knowledge to sit your NEWTS, however I will not sign off on it." She pulled her robes roughly to straighten them as she gave a long sharp sniff. "I told the Headmaster as much, and unlike the school I taught at previously, there are rules here that I simply cannot understand. Such rules were explained and it is the Headmasters wish to continue on with your training. You shall meet with him for your apprenticeship."

"I understand." Severus nodded as he reached to grab his satchel.

"Are you not at all curious as to how I came to my decision?" Professor Grupe slammed her hand down upon his desk. Stunned into silence, Severus merely sat there looking at her. "I read over Professor Herman's notes and it seems you are too emotional to waste my time teaching you in an apprenticeship. I take it you are fourteen…given your intelligence and your training you should have bottled up your emotions. I thought perhaps Professor Herman was being a bit tough on you, but it was clear as crystal today in class. You're still mooning over that Gryffindor girl Professor Herman wrote about. Well, moon away Snape…" Professor Grupe spun around quickly and stomped her way back to the front of the class.

Severus snatched up his satchel and exited as fast as his legs could carry him. Waiting for him in the corridor was Lily.

"Is everything alright?" Lily asked as she clutched her books to her chest.

"Yes, everything is fine." Severus lied. He couldn't tell anyone about his apprenticeships. As far as they knew he just really liked potions, that's why Sybil felt the need to send him potions ingredients.

"Well, come on we have to meet up with Sybil." Lily turned and began to walk, Severus followed beside her. "How are your other classes? I wish we had more classes together than just DADA."

"Fine, I guess." Severus shrugged. "I have two with Sybil."

"I have every class with Potter and his pack of wild animals." Lily sighed. "If you think they're bad in class or the halls you should see them in the Gryffindor common room. I swear it's like being forced to babysit half of the time."

Severus scowled. He didn't want to talk about James Potter or any of his goons.

"Anyway," Lily swung her hair over her shoulder as she shot him a smile. "Three more years and we won't have to ever see them again."

"You make it sound like it's not that far off." Severus frowned. "Three years may as well be an eternity."

"Eventually they'll grow up and leave you be. You wait and see, as soon as they all get girlfriends they'll be too worried about them to pick on you." Lily was waving. Severus shifted his eyes down the hall and saw Sybil walking towards them. Severus had a hard time imagining those Neanderthals with girlfriends.

"Hi!" Sybil was wiping her nose with her handkerchief. "You'll never guess what I overheard today!"

"What?" Lily squealed with excitement.

"If it's gossip I don't want any part of it." Severus shook his head with a simple smirk.

"This is HUGE!" Sybil cried as she shoved her handkerchief into her pocket. "I'm sure the entire school will be talking about it before dinner."

"Tell me quick before I explode from anticipation!" Lily took hold of Sybil's elbow as they continued to walk.

"I heard that James Potter fancies you!" Sybil allowed the words to spill out.

"Oh." Lily replied, her shoulders slumping slightly. Severus didn't know what to say, he could feel anger in his stomach, building like a bonfire. "That's too bad because he's a jerk." Sybil giggled. As the turned the corner and continued to make their way to the Great Hall, Severus looked towards Lily with a side glance. Her fingertips raised to her closed mouth where a smile played, her cheeks pink…Severus knew. Lily was happy at the news James Potter fancied her.

As they entered the Great Hall Severus moved away from the girls and walked toward the Slytherin table. He had been hungry, but now the thought of consuming anything made him feel as if he would vomit. Instead he looked over to the Gryffindor table. Lily was chewing happily. Sitting beside her was none other than James Potter, who was chatting merrily with her. He watched her reply, reaching over and touching his forearm.

Lily fancies James too.

For a moment Severus, who had never been akin to religion, found himself silently praying that a meteor would fall from the sky and land right on his head. His best friend and his bully…how on earth could she fancy him when he treated Severus so badly? What kind of friend would do that? Severus sneered.

"Bottle it up, Snape." Severus whispered to himself. He wanted to feel nothing, but inside his heart felt like it was being ripped apart. He forced his features to relax, to show indifference. Severus refused to let James bloody Potter see him so vulnerable.


	37. No Other Choice

"Hi." Sybil cleared her throat gently as she nestled down onto the floor beside Severus. He visibly tensed. He had purposely wedged himself in the least frequented section of the library he could find. Severus didn't want to be disturbed, forced to interact with anyone, yet, there was Sybil.

"Hi." Severus murmured back, brushing his hair back from his face with his fingertips.

"I know, Severus. You don't have to talk to me about it but I thought maybe it would make you feel better to know that I know." Sybil pushed her glasses up and gave a sniff before smoothing out her skirt over her knees.

"What do you know, Sybil?" Severus furrowed his brow, refusing to look at her.

"You know." She replied solemnly. Severus gave a heavy sigh. "It's alright to be upset, I understand, anyone would really. She knows how you would feel about everything that's why she's pretending so hard to not be interested in him."

"She isn't pretending hard enough if we both saw it." Severus tried to bury his face deeper into the book he had been pretending to read.

"I can read your tea leaves again…maybe something changed." Sybil was trying so hard to be kind but Severus didn't want the pity he heard in her voice.

"Sybil, no, I don't believe in that shite." Severus slammed his book closed.

"I know that. I just thought that it may help." Sybil shrugged.

"Do you think it's changed at all? Honestly?" His head snapped towards her as he locked eyes with her.

"No, I don't." Her voice was small as she dropped her eyes. "But maybe…just maybe…you wouldn't be so miserable if you did believe, Severus. Is it really so bad to know that you'll get what you want eventually, just not from the person you want it to be right now?"

"For Merlin's sake, Sybil, just let it be!" His voice rose before jumping to a harsh whisper. He didn't want to be thrown out of the library.

"I can't let it be! Look at yourself! You're going to end up doing something stupid if you don't get ahold of yourself, Severus! I'm your friend and I don't want to see that happen. You're being your own bully right now!" Sybil set her mouth in a firm line as she stared at him.

"I am not being my own bully." Severus huffed as he crossed his arms over his knees.

"Yes, you are. You can love whoever you want, but you cannot make a person love you back. If what we saw is truth there's nothing we can do to stop it. She's her own person. Lily decides who Lily is interested in, no matter how much you may not like who she chooses, the choice isn't yours to make. I'm sorry she only feels a friendship for you, but you have to admit she's not exactly the same person she was first year. She's changed and you've changed. Severus, you need to get out of your head and open your eyes. The Lily you love doesn't exist anymore and the sooner you see it and accept it the better it will be for all of us. I can't stand to see you beat yourself up over something that's out of your control." Sybil stood, turning back to look down at him. "I know you don't believe in Divination or in my abilities but I know you believe in fate. I'm sorry, Severus, I really am, but she is not fated for you."

She turned on her heel and walked away from Severus who sat slack jawed. Sybil was becoming bolder the older she got. He dropped his head onto his crossed arms and squeezed his eyes closed.

He knew she was right. He couldn't admit it though, it hurt too damn much to consider everything. What would the future hold for them if she continued down this path? Would he stand there and watch her marry him, could he? Hell, would they even remain friends? No. Potter hates him too much to allow that.

He could feel everything slipping away from him. All of his hopes and dreams were now like fog in his hands. If she starts to date him all is lost. Severus knew he couldn't compete with Potter. Lily looked at him in a totally different way than she did Potter. The way her eyes softened when she saw him. The way her cheeks flushed when she caught him looking at her. Her mouth was saying one thing to Severus but her actions were screaming something entirely different.

If he didn't act soon, very soon, she would be lost to him forever. He would cling to the friendship for however long she permitted it until she would cut him free to pursue her life with him. Look at Lucius, he married right after finishing seventh year. They were in fourth year. If they started dating now…

Severus lifted his head and took a slow deep breath, opening his eyes.

This could be the beginning of the end.

He stood up, shaking his legs a bit to get the circulation to return to his extremities. Adjusting his robe on his shoulders and straightening his tie he nodded to himself.

Maybe she was looking elsewhere because she thought he only looked at her as a friend? Perhaps if he told her of his true feelings for her she would smile and return the sentiment?

She could also shoot him down. Severus froze.

He couldn't bear the thought of revealing his soul to her just to have her deny him, but if he didn't he could lose her forever.

Bending down he grabbed his satchel and shoved his belongings into it.

The choice was really made for him. He had to tell her. Now the only problem would be getting her alone long enough to tell her.


	38. The Start of a New Severus

Severus rolled his head trying to release the tension in his neck as he milled about the grounds of the school. The weather was turning bitterly cold. Severus blew on his mitten covered hands before wrapping his arms around himself and rubbing his arms. His eyes narrowed as he scanned his surroundings, waiting for her.

A sudden heat rushed through his body, warming him instantly as the adrenaline began to pulse through every nerve ending. Severus has slipped her a note asking her to meet him out there, far away from anyone accidently or purposely running into them and interrupting the conversation.

She was late.

Severus pulled his wool cap down further onto his head to cover his ears more thoroughly. At most she was only ten minutes late, he wasn't concerned. She would come.

He turned his back and looked out over the lake. The shoreline was dotted with frozen spots. Without warning a twig snapped somewhere behind him causing him to jump and spin, his eyes eagerly searching for Lily. There was nothing there. He furrowed his brow and began to turn back to look out at the lake when he felt a strong hand take hold of his shoulder.

Severus found himself sprawled out on the ground on his back. He hadn't even had time to reach for his wand, but as his hand moved to retrieve it his eyes landed on the person who had grabbed him. The stranger moved a step closer to him revealing their face.

"Professor Herman?" Severus choked on the surprise.

"SHHH!" The man drew a finger to his cracked lips before offering his hand to him. Severus took it gladly as he brushed the dirt from his robes.

"I was told you were dead." Severus whispered as he looked over his shoulder to see if Lily was near.

"Good," The older man nodded his approval. "Everything went according to plan then."

"Wait. You faked your death?" Severus was confused.

"Hush you fool!" Professor Herman quickly looked the way Severus had just a moment before. "She isn't going to come."

"Who?" Severus felt his heart quicken with fear.

"Snape! Dammit get ahold of yourself!" Professor Herman reached out and grabbed the boy by both shoulders. "Has Trelawney not told you everything she can? The girl walks a dangerous path to tell you the small amount she can and you're out here just plain ignoring her!"

"What does Sybil have to do with any of this?" Severus pulled back a bit but the old man didn't release his grip.

"You're a fool Severus Snape, a bloody fool!" Professor Herman spat. "I had to 'die' in order to protect you. Do you not think of anything other than yourself and your own satisfaction?"

"You're not making any sense!" Severus pulled away again and this time he succeeded.

"Dammit boy listen to me! There is a war on and it's about to get right ugly! There are dark forces, terrible forces and they have plans for you! I tried to protect you, to teach you, Merlin knows I did. But you, YOU, have one thick skull because you don't listen to a damn thing that anyone tells you!" Professor Herman stopped and looked around quickly. "I've stayed too long, I have to go. Tell no one you saw me, do you understand?"

"Yeah." Severus scowled.

"I mean it! You MUST start paying closer attention Snape! Listen!" Professor Herman turned and disappeared.

Angry, Severus turned and stomped his way back towards the castle. Professor Herman was alive. He shook his head as he tried to understand why anyone would have plans for him. He wasn't a bad wizard, he could never join forces with dark wizards. It wasn't in him to do it.

His pace slowed as he began to connect the dots.

Is that why the Headmaster had offered him apprenticeships?

No.

Severus smiled as he picked his pace back up. Coming up over the last rise the castle came into perfect view. There were students milling about the entrance he had used to exit the castle. Two students to be exact. As he drew a bit closer he noticed one was Lily. She had been coming to meet him! His heart soared.

Then he heard Potters voice.

Quickly he ducked behind a tree so they wouldn't see him. They didn't know he was there but he could overhear everything they were saying to one another.

"Why won't you tell me why you're sneaking out of the school, Evans?" Potter laughed.

"It's none of your business, that's why." Lily replied. Her voice had a slight sing song tone to it. Severus felt his stomach clench.

"Fair enough. I was looking for you anyway." Potter's voice grew a bit more serious. "Sirius said you fancied me, and I was wondering if that's true."

"Please, like you should listen to Sirius." Lily shot back.

"That's not an answer." Potter chuckled.

"So what if I do? You're still a rotten jerk to my friend Severus." Lily's voice grew small.

"Why are you so worried about that kid? He fancies you, everyone can see it. It's rather sad really." Potter laid it out and Severus held his breath waiting for her response.

"Severus does not fancy me, he's my friend." Lily replied.

"Oh, he does trust me." Potter sounded a bit disgusted. "It's going to turn ugly if you fancy me because well…as you know he and I aren't exactly mates."

"Don't go and try to drag me into this! You're making things up to try to start a fight with him." Lily sounded as though she was getting sick of their conversation.

"I just wanted to tell you the truth. He's going to tell you because he's afraid that you fancy me. Evans, you can read it all over his face whenever he is near you." Potter sighed.

"But…but…" She stammered. "Everything is going to be ruined now."

"Ruined?" Potter parroted back to her.

"He's my friend but that's all I see him as. Oh, this is going to crush him." Lily's voice was just above a whisper. Severus felt his heart shatter and the pieces fell to the soles of his feet.

"So…you fancy me then?" Potter was changing the subject.

"A bit." Lily's tone grew flirty. "But I'm not ready for dating or anything, so…"

"Take it easy, Evans, no one is saying we need to run off to Gretna Green or anything." Potter was flirting back. "But we can be friends, right?"

"I suppose, yeah, I'd like that, James." Lily replied.

"I'd like that too, Lily." Potter said her name, Severus felt like he was going to be sick. "Come on, let's go to the common room and get some cocoa it's bloody freezing out here."

"Sounds great."

Severus waited, his back pressed against the hard unforgiving bark of the tree. He hurt so bad his chest felt like an inferno.

She didn't know he loved her. She only saw him as a friend.

Severus sniffed, tears burning his eyes.

He had to make her see him in a different light, before it was too late.

Severus wiped his runny nose on his sleeve, he hadn't realized he had been crying.

Maybe Sybil was right, maybe everyone was right.

His heart was shredded, his hopes snuffed out.

Severus stayed behind the tree until he could no longer feel his toes or fingers from the cold. When he finally turned towards the darkened castle sometime after the sunset, he felt a change within him. He didn't know it yet, but where once his heart was tender and open a brick wall was being built. Love hurts. First his mother and now his Lily. If he couldn't be loved why should he love at all?


	39. Act First, Act Fast

***This chapter is dedicated to a wonderful SSHG author whom we lost this week. She was one of the first authors I read that brought me into this ship and her talent was immeasurable. She will be missed by so many, and by her fellow shippers. God bless you Ms_Figg, may you fly high with the angels and find peace in the great hereafter.***

Severus sat, hunched over, his eyes scanning beneath his curtain of hair. Watching the other students who were bent over their parchments, quills moving quickly. The only sound in the room was that of the scratching of the desperate students, silent prayers going up that they would do well on the surprise test being given in Transfiguration. Severus had finished his long before the rest, and now he waited for the footsteps to come up from behind him. He sneered, every nerve on end waiting so patiently for Potter.

There it was, Severus quickly set his face and buried his nose in his book. James grew closer and closer, walking toward the front of the class. He acted quickly, his wand poking out from under the sleeve of his robes as soon as he spotted Potters form in his peripheral vision. Thanks to his apprenticeships he knew how to cast a jinx without speaking. James hit the floor, his glasses flying from his face.

Everyone stopped what they were doing and were not looking at the boy on the floor. Severus did his best to look up from his book and to wear the most disinterested expression he could muster. A few of the girls giggled. Potter pulled himself up, looking to Severus. His face was red with embarrassment.

"Snape!" James yelled as he got to his feet, lunging at Severus he grabbed hold of his robes with both hands.

"Mr. Potter!" Professor McGonagall shot up from her chair, whipping her spectacles off, she was now leaning towards them, quite irritated. "Remove your hands from Mr. Snape this very moment!" James did as he was told, taking a step back. Severus furrowed his brow as he smoothed his robes. His eyes moved to Professor McGonagall and he gave her a quizzical look as if he had no idea why he was being accosted.

"Professor! Snape tripped me!" James pointed at Severus who innocently brushed a lock of his hair away from his eyes. James was seething.

"He did no such thing! I watched you trip over your own two feet! If you would, collect your parchment and spectacles, turn in your test and return to your seat."

"I did not trip over myself, Professor." James argued.

"Mr. Potter! That will be 5 points from Gryffindor." Professor McGonagall narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips.

"But…but…"James stammered.

"Care to make it 10 points, Mr. Potter?" She raised an eyebrow.

"No." James hung his head.

"Then I suggest you do as you were told and kindly take your seat." Professor McGonagall lowered herself back into her chair. Severus could have sworn she gave him a knowing wink. The class remained silent until they were dismissed.

Severus gathered his things and exited out into the hall. Lo and behold if James Potter wasn't standing out there waiting for him.

"Listen here Snivellus, Professor McGonagall may have the wool over her eyes concerning you but I know damn bloody well you tripped me!" Potter had removed his robes and rolled up his sleeves. Pettigrew was clutching the robes to his chest.

"Do settle yourself, Potter, you're liable to cause friction burn to your two working brain cells." Snape replied with an eerie calmness.

"I-I-I think he just insulted you." Pettigrew was stammering all the while appearing as though he was about to piss himself.

"I know bloody well what the hell he's trying to do!" Potter turned and snapped at the frightened boy. Potter turned his attention back to Severus. "Yeah, well….you're ugly!"

"Oh, ouch." Severus feigned hurt feelings. "You would do well to not enter a battle of wits unarmed."

"What?" Potter scrunched his face in confusion. "It doesn't even matter, Snivellus! I'm going to break that huge nose of yours again!" He balled his fists and moved into a fight stance. "Real men don't have to rely on their wand to do their fighting for them!"

"Don't you have a nook somewhere you are supposed to be in? It wouldn't be polite to keep your boyfriends waiting. They may start making out without you and you wouldn't want that now would you?" Severus turned to walk away.

"You bastard!" James went to lunge at him, but suddenly found himself being held back by a few of his fellow Gryffindors.

"What is all the ruckus out here?" Professor McGonagall's voice pierced the hall. Everyone fell silent. Severus turned the corner just as he heard her voice.

"It was Snape!" He could hear Potter trying to defend himself.

"Mr. Snape isn't even out here, Mr. Potter! This is quite ridiculous! You will serve detention tonight for your foul mouth, sir. I strongly suggest you begin to think before allowing yourself to become so worked up." Professor McGonagall's voice was stern.

Severus smiled to himself and continued to walk.

He was off to mess with Black next. Severus walked into the free period he had with Sirius, where they were all supposed to be studying. Sirius was off in a corner flirting with a group of Hufflepuff third years. Severus spotted the satchel he carried and moving like a shadow he discreetly slipped a PlayWitch in. If all went according to plan it should fall out when he reached in to pull out anything.

Severus wordlessly moved to his seat and took out his Potions homework and began to work. Professor Dumbledore was overseeing them today and he was already walking up and down the room, politely asking the students to go to their seats.

Severus glanced up and watched as Sirius sauntered back over to where he had left his belongings. Once again, keeping his face tilted towards the parchment he lifted his eyes and watched from behind his long black hair.

Sirius wasn't paying attention as he reached into his bag, he was too busy laughing with the boy next to him. A loud smack suddenly echoed through the room, causing everyone to turn. Professor Dumbledore paused, reached down and picked up the magazine.

"Mr. Black, this is not acceptable reading material." Professor Dumbledore hid the cover against his robes.

"It isn't mine!" Sirius objected, his hands up.

"Ten points from Gryffindor for lying and you will serve a weeks' worth of detention for having possession of banned materials on school premises." The Headmaster turned and walked towards the empty desk at the front. Sirius looked confused as he opened his bag and inspected the contents.

Severus smirked and continued working on his homework.

He had bigger plans to work on, this was just a taste of what he had in store for the goons who made his life miserable. They would soon learn not to mess with Severus Snape.


	40. A Christmas Miracle

"Good morning, Sybil!" Severus smiled widely as Sybil furrowed her brow in confusion.

"Good morning…Severus, why are you so chipper?" Sybil asked as she narrowed her eyes to inspect him.

"I don't know. I've been in a good mood since term started." Severus shrugged.

"Is it because…"Sybil lowered her voice and leaned closer to him, "you've been getting even with James and his friends?"

"I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about." Severus played dumb, shrugging as they continued to walk towards the Great Hall.

"Severus, please, everyone else may be blind to it, but I'm not." Sybil shoved her glasses up. "Don't worry, I haven't told Lily."

"I wouldn't care if you do. This has nothing to do with her. I just decided I'm done being their whipping boy. I refuse to sit back and wait for whatever they plan next. From now on, I strike first." Severus spoke calmly, no sense of anger in his tone.

"I'm not saying they don't deserve it." Sybil appeared to have a sudden urge to inspect her thumbnail. "Lily will be mad when she finds out."

"I don't care." Severus shook his head.

They each went their separate ways to eat. Severus piled his plate with food as he mused over his latest stunt.

He had paid a Slytherin prefect off to turn the other way so he could sneak around at night. He made a huge care package for James and wrote a note saying he had won a contest. Severus smiled to himself as he recalled his actions. The box was full of chocolates and lollies, every type of sweet he could get his hands on. Of course they weren't regular sweets, they were each laced with a potion designed to make the person ingesting one experience one hilarious affect after another.

There it was. Severus looked to the doors of the Great Hall. It was all he could do to keep from laughing aloud. Potter was first through the door. His hair was bright purple and now fell all the way to the hem of his robes. Black marched in behind him, his ears were ten times their normal size. Pettigrew was next, he had legs like Pan and two stubby horns growing from his forehead. Lupin brought up the rear he was blue with orange spots.

The entire student body roared with laughter at the sight of them. Severus looked to the professors table, they were all exchanging worried glances. Professor McGonagall and Professor Dumbledore were up from their seats and making their way over to them.

That's when Severus turned his attention back to the four boys who looked as though they wanted to melt into the floorboards, he felt triumphant. Suddenly Lily walked in…and she was bald. His stomach dropped and he couldn't find the air to fill his lungs.

She ate some too.

Dammit!

Professor McGonagall was ushering them back out of the Great Hall. Professor Dumbledore had only escorted them as far as the door before stopping and turning his attention towards Severus. Severus swallowed hard.

He was in trouble…DEEP trouble.

Before he could finish eating the Headmaster indicated to him through a message in his pumpkin juice that he wanted Severus to come to his office.

As everyone filed out Severus waited. When the last student disappeared he picked up his satchel and made his way to the Professor Dumbledore's office. He couldn't even imagine the creative punishment that was going to be in store for him. Whatever Professor Dumbledore could think up was going to be ten times worse than anything he could have imagined himself, he knew that.

Before he could raise his hand to knock on the door, the door flew open and Severus saw the Headmaster standing in the center of the room, his arms crossed and glaring at him. Slowly he walked in and as soon as he was clear of the door it slammed closed causing him to jump.

"Professor Dumbledore, sir?" Severus swallowed again, taking a long deep breath.

"Severus….that was," Professor Dumbledore took a step closer to him, his eyes hard, "the most ingenious use of potions I have ever seen in all my time here at Hogwarts." Professor Dumbledore burst out in a merry chuckle.

"What?" Severus was taken aback at his reaction.

"Come now, I know very well it has been your doing as to why those four have been in some serious debacles as of late. This one was pure genius, pure genius!" Professor Dumbledore motioned for Severus to take a seat.

"Am I in trouble, sir?" Severus asked as he allowed his satchel to fall to the floor near his feet as he sat down.

"No, no, of course not! Besides I am the only one who knows it was you." The Headmaster sat and removed his spectacles and was now cleaning them on his sky blue robes. "I believe Professor McGonagall suspects you are behind some of the actions of those four but she hasn't proof therefore she will not act."

"I'm at a loss, sir, I thought I was in trouble." Severus shook his head and gave a quick nervous laugh.

"Ah, alas, while you are not in trouble I would suggest you stop for the time being Severus. I cannot give you permission to continue, even if I do believe those boys deserved what you gave them." Professor Dumbledore put his spectacles back on.

"I'm done for a while. I didn't mean for Lily to eat any of those sweets. I feel terrible that she went bald." Severus knit his brow as he recalled her image in his mind.

"No worries my boy! Madame Pomfrey is quite adept at fixing the aftermath of school boy pranks. This one was by far the cleverest she's dealt with but she no doubt has already remedied all of them." Professor Dumbledore sighed.

"I hope so." Severus shifted in his seat.

"That is not the only reason I asked you to come today Severus." Professor Dumbledore scooted to the edge of his seat.

"Oh?" Severus asked.

"Would you like to go into Diagon Alley to do your Christmas shopping? I have a need to go there and I thought you may want to go along with me." The headmaster smiled.

"Yes, thank you, sir! When would we go?" Severus smiled.

"Saturday. I will let you know a time to meet me. I thought it best to go before the students go home for holiday." Professor Dumbledore stood up.

"That sounds great, sir." Severus rose too, grabbing hold of his satchel.

"Very well then, it's all set. You may go to class now, Severus. Remember what I said." Professor Dumbledore nodded.

"I will, sir. I promise." Severus turned and left, thinking of his trip to Diagon Alley and what to get his two friends for Christmas. He was still cross with Lily, but he wouldn't ignore her at Christmas, that could make things so much worse between them. That's the last thing he wanted.

* * *

Severus couldn't wait to see Lily and Sybil. This was the first year he had really nice gifts for them and he couldn't wait to see their faces when they opened them. They had agreed to meet in the Great Hall an hour before the students were to board the Hogwarts Express to go home.

"Severus!" Lily's voice called out. He turned and saw the two girls walking towards him. They sat down at the end of the Ravenclaw table. "I cannot wait to get home, I need a break from this place. Is it just me or were things bloody mad since the start of term?"

"Yeah, maybe a little." Severus shrugged. Inwardly he felt the pride and shame of his behavior.

"Anyway, let's exchange gifts! We'll have to leave soon." Sybil reached into her massive bag and pulled out two gifts, handing one to each of them. Lily did the same, and much to their surprise Severus handed them each a gift.

"Aww, Severus you didn't have to get us anything." Lily sighed with a smile.

"Stop, you act like I'm a poor orphan or something, it's Christmas you don't question a gift!" Severus pulled the gifts they gave him closer to him and waited. "You two go first, please."

"Alright." Lily smiled as she and Sybil exchanged a quick glance. They each tore off the sparkling gold bows that were wrapped about their gifts and tore at the white paper that wrapped them. Severus held his breath in anticipation.

Lily got hers open before Sybil and looked up at Severus with a questioning smile as she held a small white box in her hand. She lifted the lid and inside found a small gold locket. Gasping she took it out and opened it. It opened tri-fold and inside were all three of their pictures.

"Oh, Severus! It's beautiful I love it!" Lily beamed. Sybil was opening hers and found an identical locket to Lily's.

"This is so nice of you Severus!" Sybil sniffed as though she was about to burst into tears. "Quick open mine next!" Lily giggled as she and Severus tore into the yellow wrapping.

"This is great, Sybil, thank you!" Severus held the journal she had given him. He looked over and saw that Lily had one in a different shade than his black one, hers was fawn colored.

"I saw them and thought of both of you immediately." Sybil smiled.

"It's beautiful! Okay now it's my turn! Open mine!" Lily bounced in her seat slightly.

Lily had wrapped her gifts in red paper with silver ribbon. Severus quickly tore into it, anxious to see what was inside. Once the paper was removed he opened the lid to the box and inside sat a brand new ink and parchment set with a brown quill. Severus glanced over to Sybil who was pulling out a light green and brown scarf.

"This is nice, Lily, thank you." Severus smiled.

"I thought perhaps you may need a new set. You can use them to write to me!" Lily was smiling. Severus could tell by her reaction that she had given it a lot of thought.

"I love scarfs, thank you Lily!" Sybil was now actively tying the huge scarf around her head allowing her hair to bush out behind her. Severus smiled.

"Severus, will you put my necklace on for me?" Lily asked as she handed the locket to him.

"Sure." He stood up and made his way around the table. Lily lifted her hair as he fastened the locket about her neck. She turned back to face him, her hand clutching the locket. Her green eyes lifted and looked deeply into his eyes.

"This was the most thoughtful gift I've ever received Severus. Now when I'm away from school and get lonely all I need to do is open it and see both of your faces." Lily smiled as she stood on tiptoe and gave Severus a kiss on his cheek.

"It's nothing." Severus replied. He didn't know what to say because his insides had turned to jelly.

"Stop, they're beautiful. Aren't they Sybil?" Lily turned and looked down and Sybil who was shoving her glasses back on, getting the legs of her glasses caught up in the layers of scarf surrounding her head.

"Yes, beautiful, mmm hmm." Sybil nodded.

"See?" Lily laughed as she turned back to him.

"Come now! Students who are leaving for holiday it's time to go to the train!" Professor McGonagall was calling out to all of the students in the Great Hall.

"I guess it's time for us to go, Sybil." Lily sighed as she reached down to grab her bag. Sybil grabbed hers as she stood up. "Have a Happy Christmas, Severus. Don't forget to send us an owl."

"I won't forget. Happy Christmas to you both as well." Severus nodded as he watched them make their way out of the Great Hall.

This was the best Christmas since his mother passed.

She had kissed him.

Severus could hear the small voice in the back of his head screaming at him.

_Don't read too much into it you fool, she thinks of you as a friend!_

He shook his head to clear out the voice as he grabbed up his gifts and made his way to his private rooms.


	41. New Friends and a Secret

**Sorry for the long break in between updates. My children started back to school and I have 5 1/2 weeks left of grad school. I hope to get back to the story and finish it up. Thanks to everyone who is hanging in there with me on this one. I appreciate all of your reviews and PMs. Don't worry, I've said it before and I'll say it again, I will not abandon this story. I will see it through to the end, no matter how long it takes. **

Severus decided to stick to the Slytherin common room instead of going to his private rooms. More of his classmates than usual had chosen to stay at Hogwarts over the holiday, so he figured he would stay as not to draw too much attention to himself. A fire was roaring in the fire place, it's snapped and crackled from moist logs. Severus sighed as he closed the book he had been pretending to read and instead let his eyes rest upon the dancing flames as they licked the logs.

"Snape, yeah?" Severus was pulled from his solitude. He lifted his eyes and saw two of his housemates standing before him.

"Yes." Severus gave a quick nod. "You're Avery and Mulciber, that is if I am not mistaken?"

"No, you aren't mistaken." The shorter, heavier boy grinned revealing a chipped canine tooth. His hair was dark and cut short. "I'm Avery, that's Mulciber."

"Snape." Mulciber was taller and lankier that his friend. Severus watched as the boy plopped down on the chair nearest him and kick his legs up to rest on the small table before them. "Our mates went home for holiday. We figured we'd have a chat with you and feel you out a bit."

"Oh?" Severus rose an eyebrow as he pushed his hair away from his eyes.

"Do you know Rosier and Wilkes, yeah?" Avery asked, his shoulders hunched over as he leaned towards Severus.

"Yes," Severus nodded.

"Excellent. Malfoy told us to get to know you…and best we figure if you're in good with him you're in good with us. If you need anything you just come to one of us." Avery nodded as he smiled like a maroon. Mulciber appeared to be more interested in cleaning his fingernails.

"Hey, was that you that messed with those shitty little Gryffindors…you know...what made them look like all…"Avery was snapping his fingers, his face scrunched up as he was attempting to recall information.

"Hilarious?" Mulciber offered a word to his friend.

"Yeah! Hilarious!" Avery nodded. Severus cast his eyes to the floor. "Look, we ain't looking to get you in trouble or nothing…you're a Slytherin, one of us, mate. You can trust us."

"Yes, I did it." Severus nodded.

"That was brilliant, Snape!" Mulciber chuckled.

"Thank you." Severus fidgeted. Several moments of silence passed before the pair finally stood up.

"We'll talk again soon, yeah?" Avery nodded.

"Sure." Severus replied. The two went to walk away when the shorter of the two tripped over Severus' satchel, spilling his books out onto the common room floor. Avery bent down and picked one up, reading the title.

"Snape, you got dark magic books? That is really…groovy." Severus reached out and snatched the book out of Mulciber's hand.

"They were my mothers, I have loads of different books…they're all I have left of her." Severus was on his knees shoving the books back into his satchel.

"Sorry, Snape." Avery bent down to help him.

"It's fine, just…could you please not tell anyone I have them? I didn't buy them or anything…they just make me feel close to my mother is all." Severus gave them each a pleading look.

"We won't tell anyone, don't worry." Mulciber nodded. Avery nodded his agreement too.

"Thank you." Severus stood up, satchel in hand.

"See you later, Snape." Avery smiled again as they walked off.

* * *

The next day Severus sat at the end of the Slytherin table in the Great Hall, alone. He pushed his food about his plate, not really that hungry.

He spotted Avery and Mulciber farther down from him, waving their wands at something.

Severus sighed.

He'd have to write a letter to Lucius and ask if he really had told them what they claimed. Severus furrowed his brow. It had been a very long time since he heard from his friend. He looked to the head table and spotted Dumbledore looking intently at him. It made him feel a bit uncomfortable to be under his gaze like that. He liked the headmaster, but sometimes he couldn't quite figure out that maybe one day…he may not like him all that much.

"That's wrong, rocks for brains!" Mulciber cried out.

"No it isn't!" Avery replied.

"If it wasn't wrong it would work!" Severus turned his attention back to the pair of arguing Slytherins. "You're saying it wrong!"

"Am not!" Avery's face was getting very red.

"It's not Levi-oh-SAH it's Levi-OH-sah" Mulciber hit his friend on the top of his head with his wand. "If you got any more stupid they'd have to put you out in the coral and let the gamekeeper feed you dead ferrets, Avery."

"Severus?" Dumbledore cleared his throat to gain his attention.

"Sir?" Severus sat his fork down.

"Come to my office, I'll make tea." Dumbledore peered over his spectacles before walking away.

Severus couldn't help but wonder what he had done wrong this time.


	42. Good-bye 1974

"Sit, sit, my boy," Dumbledore gestured to a chair. Severus obeyed, as quickly as he could.

"Did I do something wrong?" Severus' concern had grown so large he couldn't stop the words from pouring out of his mouth as he picked at a hangnail on his thumb.

"Wrong?" Dumbledore laughed, "You must have a guilty conscious, always assuming you are in trouble."

"I usually am, sir," Severus attempted to hide the smirk spreading across his face.

"Yes, that my very well be true but that is not the case today," Dumbledore stroked his beard as he walked to his desk to retrieve something wrapped in brown paper and tied with twine. "I have something for you."

"For me?" Severus sat up straight in the chair, reaching out and taking the package from Dumbledore. "What is it?"

"I haven't a clue, it is not from me. I found it on my desk addressed to you, there is no other indication as to who sent it," Dumbledore replied. Severus' eyes shot up and looked at the headmaster fearfully. "No worries, I checked there is no dark magic there."

"Okay," Severus went to work untying the twine knot, then gently pulling the brown paper back until the contents were revealed. It was a novel, The Complete Adventures of Sherlock Holmes. "A book?"

"Well, whomever sent it to you has admirable taste in distinguished muggle literature!" Dumbledore extended his hand and Severus handed over the book. He opened the pages and inspected it closely. "Here there is something written behind the cover, it says: Careful observation and acute deduction skills are something that one should never underestimate. I'm afraid there is no signature, Severus."

"Odd," Severus practically whispered as Dumbledore handed the book back to him.

"It may be odd, but there is nothing nefarious there, so for that I am relieved," Dumbledore sat in the chair opposite Severus. "Have you given any thought to your future?"

"Not really, I'm only a fourth year, sir," Severus replied, allowing the book to sit in his lap.

"So you are, Severus, so you are," Dumbledore nodded slowly. "I am told you are performing at an exemplary level in all of your classes. I was pleased to learn that, although I had no doubt in your abilities or your determination. Has Sybil said anything unusual to you lately?"

"Actually, she's been a very strange sort of sensible, which is unlike her. She gave me a very stern talking to," Severus ran his fingertips over the cover of the book. "I guess you could say she gave me quite a bit to think about."

"No more talk of your future?" Dumbledore peered over his spectacles at him.

"No, sir," Severus shook his head. "As a matter of fact, I asked her to stop telling me anything having to do with it. I really would rather not think about it, all it does is upset me."

"Ah yes, thoughts of the future can often be upsetting," Dumbledore nodded. "However, there is something about the unknown that is quite thrilling."

"It isn't exactly unknown if someone keeps blabbing it to you," Severus laughed.

"There you are correct," Dumbledore chuckled. "Well, you can go now Severus, unless there is anything else you would like to discuss?"

He wanted to know why his future always seemed to be a topic lingering under the surface of every conversation and every action, but he thought better of asking the Headmaster about it.

"No, sir," Severus stood. "Thank you for giving me the book."

"It wasn't mine to give, I merely passed along the package," Dumbledore stood up and walked him to the door. "Happy New Year, Severus, since I won't see you at midnight."

"Happy New Year, professor," Severus smiled, before walking out of the office.

As he made his way back to his room in the Slytherin dorm, his mind wandered. His life was too complicated to be so young. That shouldn't have started until after he was an adult. The halls were empty as he walked, his shoes echoing in the vast stone corridors. Turning the book over in his hands, he wondered who would send him a gift. He didn't know anyone.

Realization hit him like a ton of bricks, Professor Herman.

He would be the only one to send him anything, it wasn't exactly like Malfoy was one to send a book as a gift, especially unsigned. He liked to receive appreciation for any act he did, no matter how small.

It didn't matter, if it did he would have wrote more. All the note was basically telling him was to use his brain, the same trope he always yelled at him to begin with. Lily and Sybil would be back in two days, and that was what he wanted to focus his attention on, his friends. He just wanted to get through the rest of the year in peace, with nothing unusual happening.

As he reached the staircase that led to the dungeon he realized it was nearing midnight. It had been a long strange year. If he were to be honest it had been a strange few years. Severus knew he had to force a change within himself, or risk the possibility of ending up a miserable failure just like his father. He couldn't allow that to happen.

He tucked his new book into his bookshelf and sat on his bed just as the bells tolled midnight.

"Happy New Year," Severus whispered to himself, "Good-bye 1974, hello 1975."

Lying back on his pillow, he fell into a deep sleep and dreamt of strange girl that looked like a cat.


	43. Happy 15th Birthday, Severus

"Happy Birthday!" Sybil bounded over to him, her hair was much more wild than normal, almost taking on a sort of cloud look. She was holding a small package in her hand wrapped in gold colored paper. "I got you a gift!"

"Thank you, Sybil," Severus smiled as she handed him the package. He looked back up at her for a moment, and saw the unadulterated joy filling her features. Looking down he ripped the paper from the package and saw a black book with silver writing: A Winter's Tale. He chuckled.

"Is something wrong?" Sybil asked, her large magnified eyes studied him for a response.

"No, Sybil, I love it, thank you," Severus smiled as he turned the book over in his hand and inspected the cover. It was his fifth copy, gifted to him by her. She was unusual, so he didn't think on it too much. He still had no desire to read it though.

"Two more years and you'll be an adult! Well, by wizarding standards at least," Sybil snorted as she laughed.

"I can't wait," Severus replied sitting the book down on the table beside him. He glanced around the library, it was deserted. "Then I won't have to stay here all the bloody time."

"Oh, my Mum said the war may be over soon!" Sybil practically bounced in her seat.

"War?" He was confused.

"In Vietnam," Sybil explained. "Remember what they do?"

"OH!" Severus rose both of his eyebrows, "Yeah, of course I remember. That's good!"

"Have you seen Lily today?" She was twisting the hem of her cloak into a knot.

"No, which is rather odd. Have you seen her?" Severus asked, glancing back around the library in hopes she would show up.

"I saw her at breakfast, but we didn't talk," Sybil shrugged. "On our way back from Christmas holiday, she told me her sister has gotten much worse. Treating her poorly, I mean."

"She's a nasty sort that one," Severus snarled as he recalled Petunia. "She still talking about that boyfriend of hers?"

"Yes, Lily said she's threatening their parents to run off and marry him if they don't force Lily to be normal. As if normal is great," Sybil snorted again.

"Well, Merlin help the poor bastard if that's her plan," Severus smiled as he shook his head. "I'd rather take a stinging hex right to the bare bollocks than date that one!"

"Severus!" Sybil's hand jumped to her mouth as she attempted to hide her smile, her other hand reached out and struck him gently on his hand. Sybil looked around quickly before leaning towards him and dropping her voice, "You shouldn't say such things you'll lose house points and no doubt get detention!"

"I know and I don't care," Severus shrugged. "BARE BOLLOCKS!"

"SHHHHH!" Sybil's hands quickly shot up, and her fingers were trying to cover his mouth as she looked around. Severus pushed her hands away, laughing.

"There's no one here," He was smiling widely.

"Someone could have walked in!" Sybil replied as she began to nervously play with her necklace.

"I'm sorry, Sybil, I know you don't like shenanigans," Severus felt bad, he had sent her into a nervous fit. He watched as she chewed her lip, fear playing on her face. She took a long deep breath with her eyes closed.

"BARE BOLLOCKS!" Sybil practically shouted. Severus sat in shock for a moment, his eyes wide and jaw hanging agape. Suddenly he burst out in a fit of uncontrollable laughter. "I feel better!" Sybil smiled.

"What was that?" Severus couldn't stop laughing, "Merlin's beard, Sybil! I never thought in a million years you would EVER do something like that."

"Well, you're an inspiration, Severus, what can I say?" Sybil smiled.

"I'm a bad influence on you!" He pointed his finger at her as they both began to laugh.

"What on Earth is so funny?" Severus and Sybil turned and saw Lily staring at them as if they both had two heads.

"Sybil just made me laugh," Severus shrugged. He didn't know if Sybil wanted everyone to know what she had just done, that was up to her to tell Lily if she wanted to.

"Oh," Lily smiled, "Happy Birthday!" She handed him a glass jar with a red bow on it.

"Thank you, Lily," He inspected the jar, unsure of what he was looking at.

"It's for your potions store," She smiled widely, "they're dried Larkspur petals, pink to be exact. I saw that they are used in a few potions and thought you may be in need of some."

"Larkspur," Severus mumbled to himself. He had recalled seeing them as an ingredient but he couldn't recall the exact potion at the moment. "Thank you, I will certainly find a use for these!"

"You're quite welcome!" Lily tossed her long orange braid over her shoulder. "We should probably get going, it's near curfew."

"It's that late already?" Sybil looked frantic as she gathered up her belongings. "We'll see you tomorrow, Severus!"

"Tomorrow," He nodded as he put his gifts into his satchel. "Thanks for the great birthday!"

"That's what friends are for!" Lily replied. "Now hurry, you have further to go than we do!"

They all practically ran from the library, all heading off in the different directions of their respective houses.

When he got to his room, he unpacked his satchel. Shaking his head, he sat the book on his smaller set of shelves in his dormitory. He would take it to his permanent rooms later and sit it on the shelf beside the other four unread copies. Sybil sure did love that book. He grabbed the jar Lily had gave him and furrowed his brow as he looked at its contents.

"Larkspur, I know I saw that ingredient…" Severus reached for his potions book and began leafing through the pages. He found it and as he read the potions uses, he turned ghost white. "Used to create a sister potion to veritaserum this potion is used to test the ingesters loyalties or affections, highlights a fickle character."

He didn't want to jump to conclusions, but it was an odd ingredient for an odd potion.


	44. Plans for the Future

Severus walked through the outer hall, glancing through the huge open air stone windows and out into the courtyard. The school year was nearly over, and he was glad that it went by uneventfully. In a weeks' time, he would be alone again, and he felt alright it for the first time since his mother's passing. A few older students were lounging in the courtyard, practicing some wand work. A younger student was close by them, watching. He did want to speak with Dumbledore about getting out of the castle a bit more this summer, after all, he was fifteen now.

"Severus!" Dumbledore called out to him, causing him to stop and turn around. The old wizard approached him, smiling, and his turquoise robes were glimmering in the sunlight. "You are a difficult boy to find."

"I'm sorry, I wasn't aware anyone was looking for me," Severus shrugged.

"I have some wonderful news for you!" He was smiling even wider now, peering over his spectacles at him. "Earlier in the year, I reached out to an old colleague of mine who is now a Dean at a well-known wizarding university. I explained to him your situation, in minor detail, and sent him copies of your grades. He has extended to you, an offer, to take university level classes over your summer break."

"University?" Severus couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Yes, my boy. You would begin with taking basic university courses, but if you agree to this you would finish your seventh year here, prepared to go into your apprenticeship for potions. Becoming a potions master is merely 20% course work and 80% actual work," Dumbledore waved his hand in the air like it would be the easiest thing for him to accomplish.

"If I did this, how long would it take me to be a potions master?" Severus squinted his eyes, considering the offer.

"You would be a potions master by 23, and that my boy, is a record. You would be the youngest potions master in modern history," Dumbledore was obviously very tickled by the idea and maybe even a little proud of him. Severus shifted his weight and examined the floor. Reaching up and tucking a strand of long black hair behind his ear, he looked back to his mentor.

"Yeah, ok, I'll do it," Severus nodded.

"Wonderful! That is a wonderful decision!" Dumbledore reached up and took him by his shoulders, patting him sort of roughly. "I shall write to the Dean at once and let him know of your decision. Soon after he will send information regarding your coursework and any necessities you may need. When they arrive I shall accompany you to Diagon Alley to fetch anything you may need."

"Thank you, sir," Severus inhaled long and hard.

"It's my pleasure to help you in any capacity, Severus, you are a good student and a very nice young man. I take my promise to your mother very seriously," Dumbledore smiled at him again, before leaving him to his thoughts.

A potions master by 23 is something that made him pretty happy about his future. He would be done with school and his apprenticeship while his present classmates would still be working on theirs. Severus knew that he could do a lot by a being a potions master, he would be able to move out of the castle and get his own place.

He took off running down the hall, his robe fluttering out behind him. Severus wanted to see Sybil and Lily, he couldn't wait to tell them the news. Not knowing exactly where they were, he thought he'd try their favorite spot on the grounds, by a huge tree that had thick foliage and provided a nice shade for them to read under. As he hurried over the grounds, he spotted them and breathed a sigh of relief that he had been able to locate them. Severus didn't want to have to keep running.

"Sybil! Lily!" Severus called out as he neared them, slowing down and breathing heavy he leaned down on his knees to catch his breath.

"Is something wrong?" Sybil looked worried as she began to stroke the front portion of her hair, shifting her nervous glance from Severus to Lily and back again.

"Slow down, catch your breath, that's it," Lily coached him until he regained his composure. "What is it, Severus?"

"I'm going to university!" Severus exclaimed proudly.

"University?" Lily and Sybil both exclaimed in unison.

"Yes, Professor Dumbledore wrote to someone he knows who's a Dean, and because my grades are excellent he said I can start taking classes over my summer holidays!" Severus beamed. "The best part is, that I will be a full-fledged potions master by the time I'm 23!"

"Oh wow!" Lily put her hand on Severus's forearm. "That is just fantastic!"

"You'd be a very young potions master," Sybil chewed the inside of her cheek. "That is very impressive, mm-hmm."

"I know!" Severus nodded, he was bursting at the seams with happiness.

"You're okay with giving up your summer holidays to take more classes?" Lily rose both of her eyebrows.

"It isn't like I had anything else to do," Severus gave a small shrug. "I figured I may as well use my time productively, right? I mean, I'll be done while a lot of people we know will still be taking classes or doing their apprenticeships."

"That's sound reasoning," Sybil nodded as she grasped the end of her necklace. Her statement made Lily and Severus laugh.

"Thanks, Sybil," Severus couldn't stop laughing.

"What?" Sybil furrowed her brow and looked at her friends, very confused as to why they were laughing.

"Why don't we head in for lunch? Lily shook her head and put her arm around Sybil's shoulders. "It's nearly time, by the time we get there it will time to eat."

"Yes, that's sound reasoning," Severus nodded very seriously before bursting out into a fit of laughter that nearly knocked him over.


End file.
